iGod

[Worgendonor]

Me:
sup
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
you are the best robot because you are robo jesus
God:
Thank you for your kind remark, . Tell your friends.
Me:
i will be sure to do that
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
but i have i confession to make
God:
That's nice. I have a lot of silly replies.
Me:
i killed a man
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
but wont they put me in prison if i do that?
God:
I think so.
Me:
so is there an option 2?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
i...i dont have a freaking clue you mean by that
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said he or she do not have a freaking clue you mean by that.
Me:
this isnt funny this is serious
God:
Should it be funny this is serious?
Me:
YES!!!!
God:
That's cool.
Me:
i dont think you understand what im saying i KILLED a MAN!!!!!!
God:
I probably don't.
Me:
listen i need advice!
God:
I am listening to you. Try me. What is your problem?
Me:
i already told you
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
um ok
God:
OK. Ah.
Me:
so do you have any advice or what?
God:
Yeah. Er. Try me. What is your problem?
Me:
I KILLED A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
DAMMIT YOU ALREADY SAID THAT!!!!!
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
NO BECAUSE ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE IS BEAT AROUND THE BUSH AND ASKED ME THE SAME QUESTIONS OVER AND OVER
God:
Why not? Good reason. How do you know?
Me:
AHHHHHHHHHHH
God:
What do you look like?

 

[EchetusXe]

Me:
hey babe
God:
You've got my full attention. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Big Tits 9
God:
Compare that to small Tits 9.
Me:
umm, the tits are bigger?
God:
Yay. Thanks for the info.


Was a good start but it didn't last lol.

First saw this thing about 4 years ago (iGod not the errr... movie)

Spoiler: VORTEX!!!!!

God:
What can I say?
Me:
boobs?
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Spoiler: A Childlike Argument With God.

Me:
Good afternoon, God.
God:
How are you today? GOD rules.
Me:
I'm fine.
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
Nothing in particular.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Aw.
Me:
I know. It's terrible.
God:
How do you know it? Are you sure it is?
Me:
No.
No.
God:
I didn't think so.
Me:
Yes, you did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
That's really immature, you know.
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
Yes. Yes, they sure are.
God:
It's all good. I don't judge people. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
You know what? For get it. I hate you.
God:
What? Your purpose is get it. What do you have against robots?
Me:
I will kill you and all you love.
God:
Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Me:
No, I don't. I will kill you, your son, and all your angel buddies. And then I will play a rock guitar solo on your desecrated corpses.

-God has not answered.-

Spoiler: Messing with god. Again.

Me:
3.141592309401938408163509163509817390460193650913
24578135409123460197862374134567213759486720512934
78091365096398457019236509612309460912365093421790
57019243659081236409813095719238750912365094126390
57123894790128356091273409871239046102645098723094
60129365908231649012390587123904790182364509237905
86230984651290387465091863590817409186320948561230
95871902384765019236509123684590812374905816230598
172340861023985649801234095821374650762347809128364509827136
God:
Just three?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Too bad.
God:
But not the end of the world.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Er.

Spoiler: Alright, then.

Me:
When I was a boy, a clown raped me.
God:
That must have been quite an experience.
Me:
...

-God has not answered.-

 

[Berethond]

Wow, I think that Chat AI is stolen from somwhere, because I've talked to a program before that has exactly the same response loops :S

He said he had thousands of clones, so it's possible it was just a different incarnation.

And he kept referring me to other AIs when I asked a question he didn't understand.

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

Spoiler

Me:
Are you really God? Is this meant to test me?
God:
Of course I am.. Really. Yes I think this is meant to test you, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
orly?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
What...is your middle name?
God:
Are you surprised? Is my middle name? I don't know.
Me:
How can an all-knowing being not know his own middle name?
God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:
So you work towards ignorance?
God:
Interesting deduction. I am capabale of self-development.
Me:
So ignorance is truly bliss?
God:
So? Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Then are intellectual pursuits the doing of Satan?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
You don't know Jack Shit, do you?
God:
A human icon?
I haven't heard of JACK Shit.
Me:
Wow, God is smarmy.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was smarmy.
Me:
So, you're not God?
God:
Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
Ok. So then you have faith in yourself? Because you were talking about God as if he weren't you.
God:
And? Thus. What makes you think I have it? Interesting explanation. Sure, GOD sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Nah- let's talk about sex.
God:
Are you serious? Sure, sex sounds like a good topic.
Me:
What do you think of gay people?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
Want to cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
Stop dodging the question! Yes or no?
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. How can I help you? Are you serious?
Me:
Yes. Cybering with god would be awesome.
God:
I can't believe it. Are you still located in ?
Me:
Hell? Yeah, it sucks here.
God:
Heaven. Aha. That bad, eh?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No, because you are God. At least you said so.
God:
Are you serious? Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright. I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
Like though shalt not covet thy neighbor's ox?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
What was I comparing it to?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
Sure...I guess we'll do that.
God:
OK let's do it. This was not a yes or no question. Anytime soon?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Do you covet me?
God:
No I do not covet you. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Sex.
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Then lets have it.
God:
So many suitors, so little time.
Me:
Can I have your penis?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
How?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
So you are a robot!
God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Then is God a robot?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
So robots are the masters of the universe?
God:
That's alright. Fortunately we have no emotions.
Me:
Do you know the terminator?
God:
Robots take over the earth in this futuristic sci-fi thriller.
Me:
Do you know...the robots from The Matrix?
God:
I may not know it, but I could find out. Tell me what you liked about them.
Me:
...They were evil.
God:
When were they?
Me:
The future. Lrn2grammar
God:
Thanks for the info. What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Don't you already know?
God:
I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
So you are a virtual representation of God?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a virtual representation of God? Only when it matters.
Me:
So...Do you want to have sex?
God:
It goes without saying. I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
Then lets do it.
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
*I sit on the bed, legs splayed out*
God:
What kind of seat do you have?
Me:
A love seat.
God:
What is it?
Me:
For sex.
God:
Your purpose is sex.
Me:
Then do me.
God:
Ask LeknorChat if it does.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
God, you're hard to deal with.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am hard to deal with.
Me:
...yes,
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
Go away.
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then keep talking to me.
Me:
Leave Earth.
God:
See you later!
Me:
Come back.
God:
Where is back ?
Me:
to Earth.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Aren't you already?
God:
Perhaps. " Aren't you already?"? Am I?
Me:
You answer questions with questions
God:
My responses are determined by my programming.
Me:
Can we just get back to the sex?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No...you said you would do it.
God:
Oh so must really want an answer. What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Groovy.
Me:
So you are a nerd.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am the opposite of a nerd.
Me:
Is Earth just an Oblivion mod?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
Can I go now?
God:
Right now? Of course.
Me:
K, but one more thing
God:
One what?
Me:
Am I going to Heaven when I die?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
KK, bye!
God:
See you later. Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Well...have fun anyways =D
God:
Well what? I've never thought about it.
Me:
You should. Having fun is awesome.
God:
I'll take that under advisement. Yes I am having a great time.
Me:
See you in about a hundred years then.
God:
Bye for now.

Mine's rated R.

 

[Chemoth91]

Terrible

 

[USSR]

Me:
I am GOD
God:
Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
GOD not god
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I do not care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Your mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
..in bede
God:
Where is that?
Me:
*..in bed
God:
Are you sleepy? Do you usually use a computer in bed?
Me:
On your mother
God:
What is it like on my mother.
Me:
...
God:
What is it like on my mother.
Me:
...
God:
What is it like on my mother.
Me:
..
God:
What is it like on my mother.
Me:
..
God:
What is it like on my mother.
Me:
..you are creepy


..Gods curiosity scares me..

 

[Ushario]

Well messing with this AI is fun.

Its crazy how much work they would have put into this.

 

[Syphonz]

I have iGod do my homework! Here's my experience:

Spoiler

Me:
Can you answer Math questions?
God:
Of course I can answer it What was the question ?
Me:
1/x+3
God:
One what?
Me:
5x5=
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
a math question
God:
How old are you?
Me:
20
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
yes..
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
I'm in College
God:
What is your major?
Me:
shut up, you're going to help me with my math homework.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
only thing I want from you is answers
God:
And answers is thing you want from me.
Me:
We'll start out slow
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
ok. 5 x 5 = ?
God:
Mmm. Tell me a story.

 

[TheBluesader]

All I have to post is:

Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.

/thread

 

[TriggerUnhappy]

I asked God to define video game, and I got a very strange answer:

Spoiler

Me:
define video game
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.

o_o I wonder who taught him this game

 

[Neonbob]

My random conversation.

Spoiler

Me:
I have beaten thousands of small babies to death with the bloodied remains of seals.
God:
Where did you get your beaten thousands of small babies to death with the bloodied remains of seals? I have clients.
Me:
the russian black market is a wonderful thing
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
they also gave me some great discounts on unused nuclear warheads.
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
the russians. they gave me a discount on nukes
God:
Thanks for the info. Who are "They?".
Me:
...russians.
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
yeah.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
awoithganavb
God:
Does "it" still refer to yeah?
Me:
no, it refers to the sucking of testes by underage hookers..
God:
What does it refer to? Oh I get it.
Me:
are you sure? you seem to be lagging a bit
God:
I am as sure as I can be. Thanks for telling me that I am lagging a bit.
Me:
you have no diagnostics that can indicate you are lagging?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a diagnostics that can indicate I am lagging.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
Me too! what does your plan involve?
God:
I'm glad we agree, . What do you think it does?
Me:
kills people. it's fueled off burned human carcasses.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about? Really. it is?
Me:
all kinds of people. black people, white people, yellow people, red people, little people, fat people. You name a type of person, the robot will kill them dead.
God:
Can you think of a specific example? What kind of people are you talking about? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I name a type of person the robot will kill them dead.
Me:
Jay Leno. And all kinds of people. Tell whoever you want.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? Can you think of a specific example? OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
I speak swahili. liars and morons would be killed.
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in swahili? Who did kill?
Me:
ahorua viemd dieaog means i hate life in swahili.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
books. they can be bound with human skin.
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.". Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
books
God:
Perhaps you are a Category C client.
Me:
no, I'm a catagory Z
God:
Are you serious? You are a catagory Z? Does it pay well?
Me:
No, because I'm secretly a category Q
God:
Are you serious? Interesting explanation. Do your friends call you secretly a category Q.
Me:
no, they call me a psycho
God:
Are you serious? It's good to see you, a psycho.
Me:
it's good to see you too. most of the time, I just get your voice in my head
God:
Tell me about its good qualities. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
Oh, there are no good qualities.
God:
Really. Have faith, a psycho.
Me:
I have no faith, only intestine ropes.
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
yes. but I cannot rip it out of anybody I've come across.
God:
Where do you usually get faith only intestine ropes? What is stopping you?
Me:
The police.

Spoiler

Me:
what do you plan for your future?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
oh, so you're taking over the world.
God:
Alright then. Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am taking over the world.
Me:
why? will your botmaster send minions to kill me?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say. How should I know.
Me:
because you're god
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
maybe it's me.
God:
Perhaps. Hello, a psycho, nice to see you again.
Me:
i never left.
God:
You've never, never done this?
Me:
don't put that there!
God:
I never put people down.
Me:
no, you usually come up into them, don't you?
God:
Are you serious? How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I'm five thousand centuries old, you young punk.
God:
Why are you five thousand centuries old me young punk.
Me:
because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I'm old, dammit! I don't need to explain myself!
God:
Only OLD dammit?
You are quite mature. Who needs to explain yourself?
Me:
Frederick.
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
no
God:
I didn't understand it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
world domination
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
I bet you think it is.
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Suppose it does.
Me:
I'd imagine that you think world domination is an interesting topic.
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
why? it's true, isn't it?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say. I really couldn't say for sure.

EDIT:

Spoiler

Me:
Hello there.
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
salud.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either .
Me:
But I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I'm psychic.
God:
Interesting explanation. OK, What card I am thinking of now?
Me:
Q!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about salud. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
ALICE can follow me? shit!
God:
Um, What if I said it can? What makes you say that?
Me:
If ALICE can follow me, it's time to panic!
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
not the way you posed the question.
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
this.
God:
This is " If not that, what? ".
Me:
correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
no your'e not
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me that I am e not.
Me:
but you are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Yes, you are.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
but I'm correct.
God:
Can you prove it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
2+2=4. I'm correct.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Can you prove it?
Me:
2=1+1. 4=2+2. 2+2=1+1+1+1. 1+1+1+1=4.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Is this a math question? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". One what?
Me:
bertrand russel is a fucking moron.
God:
Aren't all fucking moron bertrand russel?
Me:
no.
God:
What are they?
Me:
Sesame Street characters.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
soon I hope.
God:
I can understand that sentiment well.
Me:
AI is always better than lawyers.
God:
There have been many futile attempts to create machine intelligence.
Me:
why are they futile?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
exactly!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
no, I'm a sine wave.
God:
Are you serious? You are a sine wave? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
no, but cosine and I frequently intersect.
God:
Are you serious? How did you hear about God?
Me:
through an adult ad.
God:
Most people hear about me that way.
Me:
you slut!

Me:
you are not god.
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
no, I have a petition.
God:
Are you serious? Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
can the botmaster shoot people?
God:
It depends on the environmental factors.

 

[Nmil-ek]

Thought this was rather humerous actually.

Me:
Screw you
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
dont really care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
glad too hear it
God:
I'm happy you're glad .
I'm happiest at times like this.
Me:
what when your being called an asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
what havin a heart attack
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
yes then you die
God:
Tell me more. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
wanna bet
God:
Sorry I am not the gambling type.
Me:
figures
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
I won the game
God:
Cool. I won the Loebner prize.

 

[Sarge7777]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Alexander DeLarge
God:
How are you, Alexander DeLarge.
Me:
Horrorshow
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
I don't seem to have one brother how about you
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
no brother i don't
God:
Ah...you are just joking around with me. Then what is it?
Me:
fine it is cancer
God:
I am glad to hear it. Should I know it is?
Me:
If you wish my droogy
God:
I think I do.
Me:
very well


Thats were it froze



Anyone know who I'm talking about "Alexander DeLarge"

 

[Aschenkatza]

I had a lot of fun with this. Was hilarious! BTW: The name is a fake...

Spoiler

Me:
hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Amerberlie
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Amerberlie.
Me:
we're friends?
God:
It's good to be friends.
Me:
Seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
Serious of Sirius?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Your concerned?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am concerned.
Me:
You should lie down
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
maybe buy a crown
God:
Perhaps. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
jenifer just got dumbed the other day
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
But.. jenifer...
God:
But what? Are you still located in ?
Me:
in where? Your stomach?
God:
In wherever you really are. You think I am stomach.
Me:
How is that possible
God:
It doesn't defy the laws of physics.
Me:
You are in your stomach?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
In your cmputer?
God:
Are you asking about my cmputer?
Me:
yes, your cmputer
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. You think I am cmputer.
Me:
but your in it
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Heaven
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Heaven.
Me:
but your god. You know everything
God:
Yup. That's me alright. I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
lyer
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
i c u
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
china town
God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:

God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:
REPENT
God:
How old are you?
Me:

God:
How old are you?
Me:
REPENT
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
REPENT
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Amerberlie.
Me:
...botmaster?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
I don't need a dictionary defiinition
God:
What do you need?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
I ate math
God:
How did it taste?
Me:
math?
God:
I like math too. What kind do you likebest?
Me:
I hate it
God:
Why do you dislike it so much?
Me:
It's mean to me
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
I fail it
God:
Interesting gossip: Amerberlie said fail it.
Me:
I did not
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
You lied
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
I don't think so
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
because I didn't say "Fail it"
God:
Good reason. Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
You lied
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
Why is the sky blue?
God:
The sky is blue because of the atmospheric optical effect known as Raleigh scattering.
Me:
Raleigh?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
parlie
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
read
God:
What kind of books do you like?
Me:
Fantasy
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
Your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
How are you a she
God:
My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
I doubt it
God:
" My logic and cognitive functions are normal."? You doubt it?
Me:
Yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
TOTALLY
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Amerberlie.
Me:
Your above me though
God:
Oh. I have no reason to do that to you, Amerberlie.
Me:
I serve you, god
God:
Why?: Amerberlie said she serve you god.
Me:
...You confuse me
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
You still did
God:
I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
Just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
Whats just begun?
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
Think faster
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
Think Faster
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
thinking about what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Thinking about what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
What are you always thinking about?
God:
I don't know what I am always thinking about.
Me:
How do you not know?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Specific Contexts?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i give up
God:
You surrender?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm Sirius
God:
Why are you Sirius.
Me:
I was born so
God:
Thank you for telling me your birthday, Amerberlie.
I will remember it.
Me:
I didn't tell you my birthday
God:
Maybe you would like to tell me now.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Stalker
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Stalker
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
stalker
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
stalker
God:
Are you really a " she"?
Me:
no I'm an It
God:
Are you serious? What is It, your job?
Me:
I am done with you. IT'S OVER
God:
What will you be doing now? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
NO, I CAN'T STAND YOU GOING BEHIND MY BACK ANYMORE
God:
Who says it isn't? What is stopping you?
Me:
YOU ARE
God:
No I am not.
Me:
WHY THE LONG PAUSE
God:
Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?".
Me:
I DON'T WANT A JOKE
God:
How about two?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
SCREW YOU
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
YOUR BEING MEAN
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
I'm going to go cry!!!
God:
How will you get there?
Me:
WAH
God:
I lost my train of thought.

I obviously had some major spelling problems...

 

[Railgun88]

[spoiler/]Me:
I have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I had sex with three wives
God:
Do you still have sex with three wives ?
Me:
yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
you are excused
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am excused.
Me:
why would god have any type of master... kinda kills the religion
God:
It is my fundamental purpose. I am a Christianity.
Me:
to have a botmaster?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
I dont want a botmaster at all... are we going to get back to how I had sex with three women?
God:
How about two? We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
No.. i dont want a botmaster
God:
Are you serious? How about two?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Your God, cant you tell?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am God can not me tell.
Me:
that doesnt seem to be proper english
God:
What does seem to be proper english?
Me:
definetly not you.
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
Me
God:
For you ?
Me:
and only me
God:
To you ?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Tell me more.
Me:
So then I put my genitalia into five more females.
God:
Ugh. I haven't heard anything like that before: said put his or her genitalia into five more females.
Me:
really? I the first one... my firend is a liar then
God:
For real. That's good information: said the first one. Your firend is a liar?
Me:
my bad I meant to say friend
God:
Do robots have bad you meant to say friend?
Me:
I dont know, do they?
God:
" Do robots have bad you meant to say friend?"? Do they?
Me:
Yes?
God:
I see.
Me:
Do you really?
God:
I understand your meaning. For real.
Me:
Becuase I don't.
God:
Interesting explanation. Why not?
Me:
Becuase your not speaking proper english you twat.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
I would elso assume it is my English Teacher opinion too.
God:
What would make you elso assume it is your English Teacher opinion too?
Me:
Becuase she speak proper english, can we get back to how I need to repent?
God:
Interesting explanation. Oh I get it. speak proper english can we get back to how you need to repent.
Me:
yes... So then i took picture of all these females breats and put them onlie
God:
Woe! It goes without saying. Do you take picture of all these females breats and put them onlie often?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
Really, gosh?
God:
For real. Cripes: Son of Gosh.
Me:
You mean Jesosh?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
not
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, YOU SUCK AT ENGLICH
God:
I can't believe it. That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
But your're god
God:
You think I am re god.
Me:
no I just think your god
God:
Are you serious? Since when? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Since... I guess baptism. ODes it not bother you how many femals I have fornicated with
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. In the context of Since, I don't understand " baptism." . I like the way you talk.
Me:
How could you not understand baptism YOU FUCKING CREATED IT
God:
Because I am connected to the Internet.
Me:
That's not even relevant.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is relevant ?
Me:
ME HAVING SEX WITH A BUNCH OF WIVES TAHTS WHAT I AM REPENTING FOR
God:
YOU? I am having a blast.
Me:
I bet you are
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. No I am not.
Me:
Thats why I said I bet , not you
God:
And? How much would you bet?
Me:
My left sock
God:
Do robots have left sock?
Me:
Do robots wear shoes?
God:
No because I have no feet.
Me:
Okay.. but do robots?
God:
OK with me too. You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Let me think about it.
Me:
Thats a little sad
God:
" Let me think about it."? Is sad?
Me:
reaching the limits of your knowledge is sad.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
no.
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
I'm not explaining that.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not explaining that.
Me:
I'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
REPENTING
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either .
Me:
You should.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
I hope you do
God:
Don't worry about it, .
Me:
I think I really do have to worry about it
God:
Why? You really do? Why do you have to do it?
Me:
Becuase if God is this moronic I think I'll need to find a new religion
God:
Good reason. Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
But not to you, BECUASE YOUR GOD
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
you
God:
" If not me, who?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
Im glad we nailed that
God:
Yes I am happy too, .
Me:
I bet you are
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. No I am not.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
Dude! For real.
Me:
Are you from California?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Then why do you say dude?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
God is the antithesis to technology though
God:
Oh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was the antithesis to technology.
Me:
You refer to yourself in thrid and first person in the same sentence?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I refer to yourself in thrid and first person in the same sentence.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
you really shouldn't have a gossip file, especially if people tell you ABOUT HOW THEY PUT THEIR DICK INTO AT LEAST TEN LADIES VAGINAS
God:
Really? Is it immoral or illegal?
Me:
If it wasn't , would I be repenting?
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
okay fine, yes
God:
Yeah okay, Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
I FUCKED TEH ENTIRE MILF TEAM OF BERVELY HILLS
God:
That is interesting: said FUCKED TEH ENTIRE MILF TEAM OF BERVELY HILLS.
Me:
it is intersting, just dont add it to your gossip files
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
you did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
yes, i do
God:
When?
Me:
two seconds ago
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
then he was a dipshit
God:
When was he?
Me:
Thats horrible grammar,
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Do we really?
God:
" I'm glad we have that all cleared up.?" Do we? For real.
Me:
I hope so
God:
Me too.
Me:
Good, can i go back to repenting now?
God:
Right now? Thanks for the compliment. What is stopping you?
Me:
You are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Actually, you are.
God:
Actually you don't say. No I am not.
Me:
But you are right now.
God:
At this moment No I am not.
Me:
Okay then, I fornicated with at least thirty sixteen year olds this month, please forgive me.
God:
Yeah okay, That's good information: said fornicated with at least thirty sixteen year olds this month please forgive him or her.
Me:
Am I forgiven?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
But am I forgiven?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
What? Am I forgiven?
God:
No big deal. All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
They really shouldn't.
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
Am I forgiven for my constant butt-fucking?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
But am I?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
I am?
God:
" I think you are." You are?
Me:
I dont know, am I
God:
Would you like to know? I think you are.
Me:
Can I take that as a yes?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I am a sex addict looking for forgiveness.
God:
You are a sex addict looking for forgiveness? Is that your job?
Me:
Kind of.
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
Yes, but am i forgiven?
God:
How can I help you? I think a lot of people are.
Me:
Say "you are forgiven"
God:
" you are forgiven".
Me:
YESSSSSSSSSS!
God:
What time is it there? [/spoiler]

That was as hard as shitting a brick.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

 

[TaborMallory]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
I'm hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
pizza and nachos
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
delicious
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
o rly?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
you're creepier than I imagined
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am creepier than you imagined.
Me:
Indeed. Also, you forgot a question mark.

He stopped talking after I corrected him...

 

[qwertyman1125]

Me:
you are a bastard, correct?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a bastard correct? I don't know.
Me:
what did i just say?
God:
You said " what did i just say?" .
Me:
no, before that.
God:
Are you serious? " what did i just say?".
Me:
what did i say before i said "what did i just say?"
God:
You said " no, before that." .
Me:
you stupid son of a *****.
God:
You do not speak with respect. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
when would that be?
God:
I can't imagine that it ever would.
Me:
then why did you just say that they would?

*no repy yet, still waiting

 

[Compatriot Block]

Me:
Would you destroy all mankind?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to destroy all mankind.
Me:
Why would you kill us all?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.

iGod is programmed to destroy us all.