"I'm not gay, but..."

[Nickolai77]

The way society has turned, the 'ideal' man is big, strong, and shows no emotions among other equally annoying attributes.

There's a line from the Galaxy Rangers, in which Goose says that Supertroopers "get mad, and [they] get angry," and that's it. It's clearly not the case, but it's hardly anything new. That was 20 years ago, and while it only referred to mutants, it's kind of true of any sort of masculine ideal (they were military), and it's been going on for much longer than that.

After all, the character was largely an homage to John Wayne and Clint Eastwood.

Guys have no feelings except being mad or "psyched." That's the cliche, and it's a pretty old one.

Considering a lot of breastplates from the ancient world often included depictions of male abs's...this view to manliness has been around for thousands of years.

Strength, along with all the other warrior virtues are very useful in violent primitive society, but not nowadays at all. I think this is part of the problem of the masculine identity, it hasn't moved on from the past.

 

[delet]

The way society has turned, the 'ideal' man is big, strong, and shows no emotions among other equally annoying attributes.

There's a line from the Galaxy Rangers, in which Goose says that Supertroopers "get mad, and [they] get angry," and that's it. It's clearly not the case, but it's hardly anything new. That was 20 years ago, and while it only referred to mutants, it's kind of true of any sort of masculine ideal (they were military), and it's been going on for much longer than that.

After all, the character was largely an homage to John Wayne and Clint Eastwood.

Guys have no feelings except being mad or "psyched." That's the cliche, and it's a pretty old one.

These kinds of things tend to change through the passage of time. Did you know, way way back in the Greek myths, the heroes would sit down every now and again and just bawl their eyes out over something simple as some other guy being unfair to them? That wasn't seen as being weak, though.

Nowadays that's horrible weak and lame. Perhaps the cycle is just an incredibly long one.

 

[Craban]

Its all because stereotype gay guy is so efin gay. Thats why.
Being called gay is not about your sexuality, its about being called an asshole.
Nobody likes that.

And second one - "I?m not gay, but..." implies bicurious one. Who doesn?t want to be gay just for that.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

I usually joke about being gay, even though im not, I think its because Im confortable enough with my sexuality to joke around about it, where the "Bro" Culture thinks gay is something you catch or something.

Agreed. Me and a buddy (both confidently heterosexual) sometimes even go a step further by acting gay around each other, just to piss off some of the more homophobic people in our circle of friends. Always a good laugh.

I believe that a real man doesn't need to assert his heterosexuality, because he is secure in his own sexuality and masculinity, and mature enough to handle the fact that homosexuality exists, is perfectly natural and normal in its own right and that being confronted with it does not give you the desire to bang other guys' asses.

Personally, the whole macho bullshit bro culture seems rather silly. I believe that most homophobic behavior derives from immaturity, peer pressure and self-esteem issues.

 

[debramster123]

i think its the fear of not being accepted by certain people or family and friends

 

[Wayward Man]

I agree with those who've said that many men feel general affection is a result of sexual intentions and that true male bonding, in reality, needs to be carefully defined and follow a certain path in order to make innocent intentions clear.

I also believe that this is nescessary in most circles as a result of the simple desire in men, which an old teacher of mine defined as, "Non-fussiness", perhaps this exists in women, though being a man I can't vouch for this.

 

[Mr.Mudkip]

A lot of the times I saw it, it was, as mentioned above, because of the stigma attached to being gay/bisexual. What most people (around where I live, anyways) seem to think is that gays are promiscuous as hell, and will hit on you at the drop of a hat. For example, when I told a friend I was bisexual, I had to reassure him multiple times that no, I was not interested in him. People seem to think that just because they have different sexualities, then they must be interested in everyone, or at the very least, people they're close to. Even people who, ironically enough, have female best friends with no attraction between the two think this. So, OT, people say that because they don't want to be treated as a pariah because their friends would feel uncomfortable around gays, so they constantly assert their heterosexuality.

 

[Thaliur]

Hmm: I actually never noticed anything like that. Among the people I know no one really seemed to find it necessary to declare their sexual preference, including quite a few homosexuals (my girlfriend's mother is lesbian and knows a lot of male and female homosexuals, and of course they and I get invited to her birthdays.)

For my personal opinion on this: I don't really think statements like that are actually necessary, unless provoked either by an outright question or advances by an "incompatible" person (that is, whatever gender you don't prefer). Until one of these events occur, it can just as well remain secret.

I think Steve from Coupling pretty much nailed the subject of not thinking about "normal" friends in an even remotely sexual way when he said "As far as I'm concerned, you're not even plumbed."

 

[Broady Brio]

I sometimes act camp for comedic effect. That's it. I'm a straight man who will occasionally act gay.

 

[Something Amyss]

Considering a lot of breastplates from the ancient world often included depictions of male abs's...this view to manliness has been around for thousands of years.

Strength, along with all the other warrior virtues are very useful in violent primitive society, but not nowadays at all. I think this is part of the problem of the masculine identity, it hasn't moved on from the past.

Those nice, hard, breastplate abs....

Sorry, where was I?

Oh yeah, the value of strength and aggression combined with a lack of real outlets for the two, certainly don't help much. Though considering how many of the macho cultures practiced, embraced, or even endorsed homosexual conduct (I say conduct because gay sex was sometimes okay when being gay still wasn't), maybe they just need to give in.

 

[bad rider]

In case it goes round that you are gay and other insecure males feel threatened by your sexuality and reject you, leaving you friendless. I would assume.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

I usually joke about being gay, even though im not, I think its because Im confortable enough with my sexuality to joke around about it, where the "Bro" Culture thinks gay is something you catch or something.

I do this a lot. For some reason, whilst with a certain group of friends, if ever we have to introduce ourselves to anyone, we take turns acting stereotypically gay, just to see if it weirds people out. It has best effect on good-looking straight guys who know they're attractive.

 

[JanatUrlich]

I don't know, but it pisses me off. I was lucky enough to hang out with guys that were totally cool at my college. It's strange how refreshing it is to see guys hugging and kissing each other like it's the most normal thing ever. Especially as they were all rugby boys!

It also made spin the bottle a lot more fun haha!

It really is totally opposite to girls though. I hug and kiss my girlfriends all the time and no one bats an eyelid. It's a fucking joke!

 

[Something Amyss]

A lot of the times I saw it, it was, as mentioned above, because of the stigma attached to being gay/bisexual. What most people (around where I live, anyways) seem to think is that gays are promiscuous as hell, and will hit on you at the drop of a hat. For example, when I told a friend I was bisexual, I had to reassure him multiple times that no, I was not interested in him. People seem to think that just because they have different sexualities, then they must be interested in everyone, or at the very least, people they're close to. Even people who, ironically enough, have female best friends with no attraction between the two think this. So, OT, people say that because they don't want to be treated as a pariah because their friends would feel uncomfortable around gays, so they constantly assert their heterosexuality.

I've had trouble explaining it to people, too. They think being gay/lesbian means you want to nail every dude/chick, and being bisexual means you want to nail everything on two legs. And I'm like, "Do YOU want to sleep with every girl you see?" Or sometimes, "Ew, God no! have you had a LOOK at yourself lately?"

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Considering a lot of breastplates from the ancient world often included depictions of male abs's...this view to manliness has been around for thousands of years.

Strength, along with all the other warrior virtues are very useful in violent primitive society, but not nowadays at all. I think this is part of the problem of the masculine identity, it hasn't moved on from the past.

Funny you mention the ancient world, because in many ancient cultures (most notably ancient Greece) homosexuality (mostly, but not exclusively, in the form of pederasty) was not only accepted, but considered by many to be a virtue.

As Plato said: 'A lover is the best friend a boy will ever have.'

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I do a lot of things that can be misconstrued as gay. I hit on my male friends for the lulz or just to make them uncomfortable, and when they play along it's even better. I admit to having man crushes. I don't have an attraction towards men as a whole though.
I think this goes for just about any guy, some will just be more reluctant than others to admit it.

 

[Paksenarrion]

If only we all had boobs and a penis, we'd solve the gender problem.

 

[Craban]

The way society has turned, the 'ideal' man is big, strong, and shows no emotions among other equally annoying attributes.

There's a line from the Galaxy Rangers, in which Goose says that Supertroopers "get mad, and [they] get angry," and that's it. It's clearly not the case, but it's hardly anything new. That was 20 years ago, and while it only referred to mutants, it's kind of true of any sort of masculine ideal (they were military), and it's been going on for much longer than that.

After all, the character was largely an homage to John Wayne and Clint Eastwood.

Guys have no feelings except being mad or "psyched." That's the cliche, and it's a pretty old one.

Considering a lot of breastplates from the ancient world often included depictions of male abs's...this view to manliness has been around for thousands of years.

Strength, along with all the other warrior virtues are very useful in violent primitive society, but not nowadays at all. I think this is part of the problem of the masculine identity, it hasn't moved on from the past.

Thing is, that warrior who is depicted (especially if its Greek or Roman) could be gay, and at the same time considered normal among his fellow warriors. Society in those times was no more primitive and violent that ours is now.
Simply because the fact that you are gay carried no stigma at that time.

 

[Scobie]

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