"I'm not gay, but..."

[Naheal]

I usually use homosexuality as a joke amongst friends who are fairly insecure. It ends in typical backlash, and results in a battle of sarcasm and wits.

In other words, fun tiemz.

 

[Zechnophobe]

In the light of it being brought up in another thread...

Another thing that I find odd is how often I run into guys who seem to have to regularly inform those around them that they are heterosexual. It could be done by jumping on the sex talk bandwagon and talking about all the sex or hardcore pornography that he messes with. It could be prefacing any comment he makes that could remotely be taken as "gay" with the line "I'm not gay, but" or something like it. Or, it could be that subconscious fear to desperately avoid things that stray away from his, or other men's standards of what is "okay" for a straight male to like or enjoy.

This is another thing I don't really understand. I don't have to personally worry about it, but it is something that I see enough that it strikes me as curious. Why does this happen so often? What is so scary and horrible about being different or thinking of things outside of the "macho man" stereotype?

Discussion value: Why do straight men seem to have a crippling fear of anything that might imply that they are homosexual? What drives this "need" to regularly reassure others that they are "normal" in this manner? What do you think of the idea that certain thoughts or activities are pigeon-holed into either the realm of the "straight male" or that of the "non-straight male"? What do you think about this fear that straight men seem to have about deviating from what is considered "normal" for them?

It is stupid evolution. Part of the splitting of the sexes as been the need for sexual identity. If two same sex couples are trying to procreate, it is likely they both die without offspring. This has, over time, led to very strong reactions from people towards their orientation.

Nowadays, when it isn't really that big of a deal, it creeps into discussion as more of an anomaly than anything else. Same reason people are scared of spiders: Historically, those who aren't died more often to spider poison .

 

[SamtheDeathclaw]

Hah, I've never thought about it I guess, but I guess that's about right. I'm gay, but I compliment girls and such but I don't feel any driving need to tack a "No hetero" on there...

 

[Yureina]

I usually use homosexuality as a joke amongst friends who are fairly insecure. It ends in typical backlash, and results in a battle of sarcasm and wits.

In other words, fun tiemz.

Sounds like your friends are fun people to be around.

 

[Naheal]

I usually use homosexuality as a joke amongst friends who are fairly insecure. It ends in typical backlash, and results in a battle of sarcasm and wits.

In other words, fun tiemz.

Sounds like your friends are fun people to be around.

I generally stick around people who have more than five brain cells firing and have a sense of humor.

 

[Yureina]

I usually use homosexuality as a joke amongst friends who are fairly insecure. It ends in typical backlash, and results in a battle of sarcasm and wits.

In other words, fun tiemz.

Sounds like your friends are fun people to be around.

I generally stick around people who have more than five brain cells firing and have a sense of humor.

I try to as well, but it does not often work out so well. :/

 

[Naheal]

I usually use homosexuality as a joke amongst friends who are fairly insecure. It ends in typical backlash, and results in a battle of sarcasm and wits.

In other words, fun tiemz.

Sounds like your friends are fun people to be around.

I generally stick around people who have more than five brain cells firing and have a sense of humor.

I try to as well, but it does not often work out so well. :/

Depending on where you meet your friends that can be a difficult thing. I met most of my current group from a Comp Sci class, so it was almost a given.

Previously, I had met a [D&D] gaming group at a local hobby store when they were putting together a campaign. Other than that, I stick online.

Used to have quite a few friends from WoW until I stopped playing.

 

[Yureina]

Depending on where you meet your friends that can be a difficult thing. I met most of my current group from a Comp Sci class, so it was almost a given.

Previously, I had met a [D&D] gaming group at a local hobby store when they were putting together a campaign. Other than that, I stick online.

Used to have quite a few friends from WoW until I stopped playing.

All my friends are online. The people who live in my local area are all... not like me at all. I can't relate to conservative "jesus freaks" as I call them. Besides, online people tend to be more interesting.

 

[Naheal]

Depending on where you meet your friends that can be a difficult thing. I met most of my current group from a Comp Sci class, so it was almost a given.

Previously, I had met a [D&D] gaming group at a local hobby store when they were putting together a campaign. Other than that, I stick online.

Used to have quite a few friends from WoW until I stopped playing.

All my friends are online. The people who live in my local area are all... not like me at all. I can't relate to conservative "jesus freaks" as I call them. Besides, online people tend to be more interesting.

But I am a Jesus freak.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

snip

I generally stick around people who have more than five brain cells firing and have a sense of humor.

I try to as well, but it does not often work out so well. :/[/quote]
I know what you mean, I can count the number of "real" friends I have on one hand and still grab a glass with it.

Then again I tend to avoid people I don't know.
Internet based ones are a different story however.

 

[thedeathscythe]

I usually joke about being gay, even though im not, I think its because Im confortable enough with my sexuality to joke around about it, where the "Bro" Culture thinks gay is something you catch or something.

I'm the exact same way. I joke a LOT about being gay, and I'm even more feminine in a lot of ways than most guys, but everyone knows I'm straight, I don't have to reassure them that I am.

 

[Yureina]

I know what you mean, I can count the number of "real" friends I have on one hand and still grab a glass with it.

Then again I tend to avoid people I don't know.
Internet based ones are a different story however.

Online is obviously more open, but... on some level I have seen the same issues. There are plenty of online groups and communities I have gotten involved with that still have alot of links with this... "bro culture" as people called it in this thread.

Actually... the worst of it i've seen online has been in WoW. >_<

 

[Naheal]

I know what you mean, I can count the number of "real" friends I have on one hand and still grab a glass with it.

Then again I tend to avoid people I don't know.
Internet based ones are a different story however.

Online is obviously more open, but... on some level I have seen the same issues. There are plenty of online groups and communities I have gotten involved with that still have alot of links with this... "bro culture" as people called it in this thread.

Actually... the worst of it i've seen online has been in WoW. >_<

When I was playing, I noticed that this would occur more often on RP and PvP realms.

RPPvPs also had the same problem, but you'd see a blend between RP and PvP groups on a regular basis. At least that's how it ended up being on Twisting Nether before I left.

 

[Biosophilogical]

Well I'm assuming it is one of those 'subconscious' nurture things, as in, those things that are made by society, but the effect of society is greatly determined by an underlying 'nature' thing. Anyway, what I, a high school student (Woot for credibility), think, is that, because humans seem to adapt to a social environment to best reproduce, when the society they live in acknowledges homosexuality but being homosexual either gets you massively judged or permanently puts you in the 'friend zone', then it would seem a reasonable (in terms of reproduction) to avoid appearing homosexual.

Funny you mention the ancient world, because in many ancient cultures (most notably ancient Greece) homosexuality (mostly, but not exclusively, in the form of pederasty) was not only accepted, but considered by many to be a virtue.

As Plato said: 'A lover is the best friend a boy will ever have.'

And to continue my point through even more presumptions: in ancient greece, as has been stated, homosexuality was both acknowledged and accepted, so for a warrior to have pectorals and abs as part of their chest armour (depicting the naked male form), it would allow them to best be able to reproduce because they 'fit in' with society. Also, if that 'virtue' stuff is correct, then by expressing traits that are slightly leaning towards a virtuous trait yet by not going to the extreme as to actually reject women, the straight-but-acting-slightly-gay men would have an even higher chance of reproduction.

But remember, these are all presumptions made by a high schooler with no sexual experience.

 

[THEMILKMAN]

I thought the whole point of "metrosexuals" was to balance this whole behavior out.

 

[silverhawk100]

I'm suddenly reminded of an awesome piece of graffiti found in the ruins of Pompeii that said (in Latin) "Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men?s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!"

 

[Admiral Stukov]

I know what you mean, I can count the number of "real" friends I have on one hand and still grab a glass with it.

Then again I tend to avoid people I don't know.
Internet based ones are a different story however.

Online is obviously more open, but... on some level I have seen the same issues. There are plenty of online groups and communities I have gotten involved with that still have alot of links with this... "bro culture" as people called it in this thread.

Actually... the worst of it i've seen online has been in WoW. >_<

I guess I've been lucky with my wow playing then, none of the guilds I've been in had this issue.
Then again the guilds I've been a member of have always been either a hardcore raiding guild, or a social.

As for the raiding, teamwork intense as it is, you have to work with others on the group's terms or enjoy a /gkick.
And for the social one, well "be nice or get".

 

[aschere van she]

They've been taught by society that it's such a taboo to be gay, so if they think that they are doing anything that's remotely gayish, thinking anything that is remotely gayish, or being anything that is possibly perceived as remotely gayish, they have to compensate for it by being all anti gay and such.
So basically they are insecure in their sexualities and they're just compensating..