In Case Of.....

[Pm0n3y]

See if Mario can jump on them

In case of falling stalactites

 

[Sam G]

Equip heavy shield.

In case of Like Like...

 

[Azraellod]

...send in a Hate Hate filled Link.

In case of a badly thought through plan...

 

[The Rockerfly]

Stop! Re-think that!

In case of acoustic guitar strings hurting your fingers

 

[Neonbob]

...replace your fingers with titanium versions of digits, and hope for the best.

In case of a serious case of head lice...

 

[Jedamethis]

Fire! The answer to all of life's problems!

In case of boredom...

 

[The Rockerfly]

Masturbate!
Do something productive

In case of ants

 

[Sassafrass]

Come to the Escapist at night. It's when the crazies come out in droves.
Make sure they aren't the ones from Indiana Jones.

In case of weird man who won't speak to you, just stare at you.

 

[Neonbob]

...steal one of his eyes, and eat it. If he still does nothing, cut off his head and run.
Fast.

In case of a mountainous rampage...

 

[The Rockerfly]

hope there are lots of targets or you will get bored

In case on darkness

 

[Azraellod]

...sleep. That's what you do when it's dark.

In case of poor logic...

 

[Sassafrass]

Stop whacking yourself in the head with a pan.

In case of recurring nightmares.

 

[Azraellod]

...stop eating cheese. Unless you want them, I think nightmares are awesome.
...worship him I guess. Or lead a rebellion, it's up to you.

In case of an attack by the fish people...

 

[Azraellod]

Spoiler

...sleep. That's what you do when it's dark.

In case of poor logic...

Stop whacking yourself in the head with a pan.

In case of recurring nightmares.

Don't forget to blink. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/unskippable/758-Alone-in-the-Dark]

In case of God...

Argh, we all messed up the pattern.

OK, vote who gave the best answer (apart from you).

I pick... sasquatch99.

Just edit the posts already there.

In case of ninjafest...

 

[Sassafrass]

Join a ninja class to stop it.

In case of being ninja'd on this post.

 

[Yersinia pestis]

Pirate it back

In case of internet crash...

(yes, the entire internet. I can't tell you how many times I was told that while I was working as tech support)

 

[Ethereal.Frog]

Exit your basement and find the nearest library/bookshelf/item of sports equipment and burn it.

In case of people on Battle.Net having no patience at all...

 

[Azraellod]

...don't go there. Simple.

In case of failed schemes...

 

[Ramthundar]

laugh maniacally and escape in handy escape pod, cursing the Heroes and promising a return.

In case of escaped Villain...

 

[Sassafrass]

Pretend it's Dr Evil and you're Austin Powers.

In case of evil villain who's rubbish at being evil.