In Case Of.....

[Sassafrass]

Stop the guy ringing it. It puts me off taking his bonesuuhhhh...Heheh, I mean um...saving his life...yeah.

In case of nearly being caught out doing your 'hobby'

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

...find a new, more wholesome hobby

In case of headcrab...

 

[Yersinia pestis]

Stop using other peoples hair-brushes, and buy head lice shampoo.

In case of bed bugs...

 

[Earthbound Engineer]

Inject a small dosage of fluoride into your blood.

In case of rouge cashew...

 

[The Rockerfly]

[sub][sub]Googles what that is...shit! Nothing[/sub][/sub]

Err set it on fire?

In case of a hangover

 

[Ren3004]

... kick yourself in the face until it passes.


In case of the Internet becoming self-aware...

 

[Sven und EIN HUND]

...Poke it with a stick

In case of mumps...

 

[Sam G]

Dig a hole and hide in it.

In case of Pyro...

 

[Ren3004]

... kill it with water.


In case of broken computer...
[sub]Seriously, by desktop isn't working.[/sub]

 

[Neonbob]

Call tech support! And then scream at the computer until the evil demons inside leave.

In case of a freak blizzard...

 

[Ren3004]

... grab a freak overcoat.


In case of heat wave...

 

[Neonbob]

...Jump into the nearest pool and cool the hell off. Or just learn how to regulate your body temperature, like a true man would do.

In case of a horrible haircut...

 

[Ren3004]

... murder the judge.


In case of franchise assassination...

 

[The Rockerfly]

Jump in front of the bullet

In case of dogs

 

[Ren3004]

...ask who let them out.


In case of rabid wombats...

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

...get the chaingun

In case of snakes...

 

[Ren3004]

... call Samuel L. Jackson.


In case of Samuel L. Jackson...

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

...call Darth Sidius.

In case of Darth Sidius...

 

[Neonbob]

...call a casting director, because you know you want his shouty ass in another movie.
call Yoda. The little green guy will take care of all your problems.

In case of a cell phone robot uprising...