In My Defense...

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense I was starving and you were already dead.

You got us stranded on an island!

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

In my defense, how was I supposed to know that the gigantic electromagnet would fail like that?

You made 40,000 lottery ticket buyers use the Evil Numbers! (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42)

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

In my defense, I was being threatened by a bunch of PC gaming fanatics, and in between screaming at me to put the lotion in the basket, they forced me to break the fan. Sorry!

You forced your way onto a Jonas Brothers concert and kicked the nearest Jonas 'till he bled!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, it was made out of gummies.

You shot my daughter. Repeatedly.

 

[Cargando]

In my defense, she had sweeties. No-one must have sweeties.

You flooded my house with mosquitoes!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, she was hitting me in the face with a crowbar, and the first three shots didn't stop her.
you hadn't given blood in a long time, and the Red Cross hires me to be creative in my collection methods.

You didn't make me a full division of clone soldiers!

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense, you didn't fill in the order form i gave you.

you blunted the knife i use for stabbing people.

 

[deathless14]

in my defence i told you my neck was made of metal

you shot your mom

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense she was about to take me to church.

You let the worlds most dangerous man free.

 

[TheSentinel]

In my defense, he threatened me with a golf club.

You ate my last jar of Fluff!

 

[ae86gamer]

In my defense, I was the one who bought it.

You stole my car!

 

[Contun]

In my defense, I was only going to get it washed! Surprise! Everything seems to be in order correct?

You give me all your money...

 

[ae86gamer]

In my defense, it was all Monopoly money.

You took my liver and sold it on the black market.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you weren't using it well enough.

You gave me a faulty quantum replicator!

 

[ae86gamer]

In my defense, I bought it from IKEA.

You murdered Santa.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, he snuck into my home late at night with a sack.
My first response was naturally "kill!"

You haven't hugged me!

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense, you said you hated hugs.

you stole my lunch.

 

[rylus5]

in my defense,it was tuna fish!

your a lolcat'z mom