In My Defense...

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, blame your brain, not me.

You embarrassed me!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense you already had the wet pants.


You made me run out of money

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, if you believe you can buy the Empire State Building from me, you deserve to lose your money.


You tried to sell me a forgery.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

IN my defense, I'm low on cash.

You denied a hobo your spare change!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, he wanted my credit card.


You asked me for my credit card?

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, what's yours is mine!

You tried to poison me!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

IN my defense, what's yours is mine!

You drank all my orange juice!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, it was the antidote to the poison.


You replaced my bed with a bed of nails.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I'm still angry about that juice.

You said something inappropriate at the dinner table.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, we were having an inappropriate discussion.

You took my missile away!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

in my defense, you didn't bring enough to share with the rest of the class.

You put gum in my hair!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was a joke. And you have plenty of peanut butter.

You cheated in a competition!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, it was a competition to see who could cheat better.

You insulted my honesty!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, you've lied to me at least 70 times today.

You kicked me in the face!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I was breakdancing, and you got in my circle.

You took my food!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, you offered it to me!

You are on the top of the social pyramid!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I'm a really cool nerd!

You brought weed to my party.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, it was garden weed, You know, the little yellow flowers that rob nutrients from your flower bed?

You mistook me for a stoner!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, you look pretty high right now.

You sold most of my possessions on Ebay!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, you already consented to the sales.

You looked at me funny while I walked down the street, then said I walk like a duck between chuckles.