In My Defense...

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I look more adult than I really am! I'm just a kid with a beard!

You stroked my beard to the point of creepyness!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

in my defense, it's an incredibly handsome beard!

You tried to burn me at the steak!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I thought you were my ex!

You threw a black cat at me.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I wanted you two to be friends!

You killed my cat!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I did not know my shield was up.

You read really strange poetry to me.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I read that's how you win people over.

You tore up my poem!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I tripped and fell on the paper, thus tearing it in half with my head.

You read a book on how to win people over!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

in my defense, I need more friends and I'm short on ideas.

You threw the dinner i cooked for you at the wall!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, somebody changed the button map for my spells!

You changed my spell button map!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I thought it would've been hilarious.

You broke my ming dynasty vase!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, the table hit it when I used force push instead of recover hp.

You broke all my resurrection vials when I was not home!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, you break my vase, i break your resurrection vials!

You took me to court!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, you put my life in danger.

You decided to reconcile in the middle of the trial!
Edit: after I said I fixed it with alchemy, and was going to surprise you with it!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I wasn't going to win!

You punched me in the trial!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, somebody change "crouch" to "punch."

You forgot that my greeting was to crouch in rapid succession before you changed my control scheme!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I thought that was a stupid way to greet someone, punching someone is much more manly!

You gave me an angry look!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, your making me look like an aggressive man!

You shot the sheriff.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I did not shoot the deputy!

You spun me right round!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, you asked for it. *does not wink*

You forgot about me when we were traveling the world together!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I didn't 'forget' about you. We just weren't talking.

You tried to sell me while we were in Berlin!