In My Defense...

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I was looking for cash.
Don't act like you haven't done the same!

You ruined my sundae!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense i find stamp collecting incredibly droll and boring.


You broke my pots and pans

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense i just replaced it with Onion,Peanuts and Manure.


You ate all the damn burgers

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I was really damn hungry!

You kept me from getting to school!

 

[Desert Warrior]

In My Defense, I needed you to stay dumb and plump so i could sell you as a prostitute or a wife in the middle east!

You gave me everything i need!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I'm trying to be a good parent!

You didn't send me an address!

 

[Desert Warrior]

In My Defense, I didn't want you finding me and saying I'm "Hanging with the Wrong crowd" speech again

You were too protective!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I was trying to keep you away from rapists!

You never appreciated my efforts!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

IN my defense all your efforts resulted in either me being hurt or unconscious.

You cut all my wires.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was the only way to make you shut up, and you were babbling nonsense in public!

You refused to let me in your face!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

IN my defense my face isn't big enough for you to fit.


You despelled all the magic from my gun

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I was sick of that homing spell.
Do you realize how irritating it is to be shot randomly?
Every day!

You stopped me from shooting the pope!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I'm a fan of the Pope!

You shot me!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense you were wearing a big sign saying "Shoot me" in the middle of a field.

You didn't remove the bullets

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I thought they made a nice bunch of mementos.

You left me in the cold while you went off to play!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense you said you liked playing in the snow.


You left the heater on all night next to my face

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you complained about being too cold last night!

You left a ton of plastic in my car!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense i was planning this big prank involving plastic wrap but i forgot how to finish it.

You drowned my damn fishies.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I did not know they were flying fishes.

You made stuff up.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, that's what it means to be creative!

You canceled all my appointments!