In My Defense...

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you were about to shoot me. I just reacted in kind.

You stole my popcorn!

 

[hopeneverdies]

In my defense you left it in my chair

You dropped a nuke on your hometown

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was going to happen someday. I just expedited the process.

You gave life to an abomination!

 

[hopeneverdies]

In my defense, she didn't tell me she was part (insert abomination here) when she went home with me

You drove over a kitten

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was lying down in the driveway, and I was in a rush.

You helped the alien overlords!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense they promised me gold as far as the eye could see.

You got a new badge!

 

[dalek sec]

In my defense I earned it.

You threw that cylon out the airlock!

 

[world_of_dragons]

In my def-.... Wait, what the hell's a cylon?!

You didn't construct additional pylons!

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

In my defense, *someone* kept incessantly whining about it, so I decided not to.

You assassinated Admiral Cain!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, he was a complete dickhead. And it was fun to see the red from his blown up head staining his white dress shirt. Heeeeee.

You gave my dog rabies!

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

In my defense, if he's strong, he'll survive; otherwise, he didn't deserve to live. Yay Darwinism!

You blew up Earth and forced us to live in colonies on the moon!

 

[Xojins]

In my defense, the Earth was going to be destroyed eventually anyway.

You slapped Barbara Streisand's ass.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was getting out of line. She needs some help keeping it on right.

You failed a class again.

 

[Pm0n3y]

in my defense it was hard to concentrate cuz my teacher was too hot

You stole all the paintings from out of my room!

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

In my defense, they were pretty good paintings.

You fed arsenic to sleeping babies.

 

[world_of_dragons]

Look, the nurse fucked up the labeling. I thought it was just milk!!

You killed Rick James!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense he was zombified.

You wrote the world's worst song.

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense it was on a bet.

you had a love affair with spongebob squarepants

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I was slipped LSD beforehand. So I had no idea it was a sponge I was...you know.

You didn't eat your meat!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense he made for a good house cleaner when we were done.
In My Defense PETA poisoned it for me.

You started a war!