Insult me in the most creative way possible

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Fijiman

I am THE PANTS!
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Scruffy-looking, moose-faced, dog-eared, hallow-eyed, pizza-guzzling, muffin-scrunching, platypus-wearing, Facebook-sharing, walrus man!
 

Drake the Dragonheart

The All-American Dragon.
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If I had a dog, and he looked like you, I would shave his arse and walk him backwards.

What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his ass back?
 

Headsprouter

Monster Befriender
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Grope sausage wibble-wobble George Foreman long-lasting riverdance guardian crypt chewing waffle your mother! *gasp*

FIEEEEND!!!