Hello Escapists
, long time lurker here but I finally decided to post this. I?m warning you now that this is going to be a big wall of text to read. I?m also going to use the terms gamer/nerd/hardcore gamer interchangeably here, but I?m talking about people whose biggest hobby is gaming in all its forms.
(I'm 17 now, turning 18 in november)
First, let me explain why I ask this question. 2-3 months ago I've been told I suffer from panic disorder (by a rl doctor, I didnt diagnose myself on the internet). I?m taking anti-depressants now to help with the anxiety, something I hope to get rid of soon (the pills). I've been having these attacks since I was 13, and I still have them but they have decreased in quantity and severity. Essentially I sometimes have panic attacks, which are actually hyperventilation attacks caused by being ?afraid? of something but having no way to get the emotion out of your system (for example by talking to somebody about it, see where I?m going?). Hyperventilation is a natural reflex, something thats left from our prehistoric days: if you came into contact with something dangerous this reflex prepares your body to flee/fight/think faster/etc . Hyperventialtion attacks are not always caused by panic though, but thats irrelevant here. I will come back to all this later.
Now what has this to do with gaming you might still ask? Well as I said I've been having these attacks since I was 13, the time when you go from primary school to secondary school, = sort of the first time you have to make new friends without 'mommy' being there. An important time in social development. This didnt work out for me because I didnt care about 'social standards', I took 2 baths in an entire week, not enough for someone who has long hair and sweats alot, because who needs them if you
sit behind your computer all the time? I was also fat, something I have a natural aptitude for but was nurtured by sitting in a chair all the time. I had nothing to talk about except gaming, knew nothing about girls (an important subject during that age) and school was pretty difficult too (I couldnt handle being ridiculed in front of class by the teachers all the time). In short , because I could give you more examples, I had a hard time adjusting and this went on untill I was-, well pretty much last year
. Growing made everything better, and last year I changed schools too.
I feel all of this has been
mostly caused by gaming. The other factors being my kind of personality, the way I was raised and coincidence (the greatest force in the universe!). As I have said in the first paragraph these hyperventilation attacks are caused by panicking, and are made worse by the fact the emotions have nowhere to go but inside. These emotions slowly built up and cause panic attacks. The anticipation (?I hope I dont have an attack now?) can then also cause an attack. Again, what does this have to do with gaming? As a gamer I rarely talked/talk to real peope and every emotion I had (at school, during gaming,...) went nowhere but inside and there they slowly built up causing this disorder and alot of other wrong thinking patterns. (On a side note IMO nerd raging is also caused by gamers not letting their emotions out in other ways.)
I know this isnt the same for everybody and that this example in no way represents the entire gaming community. I have however, by lurking here, seen other people claiming they have to take some kind of psychiatric medication. I?ve seen at least 1 somebody whose story seemed somewhat similar to mine (the hard time adjusting and subsequent bullying), and I really believe that alot of gamergeeks have been through this. One of my best friends, also one of the only hardcore gamers I know, is a pretty popular person now but I know that inside he?s a bitter misanthrope (the same with many gamers). Everybody also knows the stereotypical hardcore gamer is a depressed, fat sack of sh-. All this has led me to believe that gaming
can be bad for your mental health/development, despite most gamers claiming otherwise. I?m talking about depression, shyness, anxiety, low self-esteem,.. here; not the ?insane killing machines? the media so happily portray us as. Though IMO the internet CAN, and often does, desensitisize a person.
This leads me to the discussion value of this topic: do you feel like your life would?ve turned out different if you hadnt taken up gaming as a hobby? That you wouldn?t have had low self-esteem because you?d have another hobby, one that does generate respect from your peers? Or that you wouldn?t have been shy/depressed because you would?ve been a more outgoing person? Or is it just that gaming as a hobby attracts a certain kind of people? Is it possible to be a sportsy person and still be considered a loser? Maybe gaming is just bad when done too much and at an early age? Is it not natural to want to feel respected by other people in life, and to add to the community? Or do you feel that "the meaning of life is to have fun and thats what I'm doing"?
Please don?t just post ?You?re a teenager, get over it, everybody has it?. If you?re going to post it anyway, think about what that might mean about YOUR life and the people you compare yourself to, to have reached that conclusion.
Anyway thank you for reading and discuss
!
edit: I just saw there's a 'Do you feel untalented' thread which kinda supports my point, with alot of people saying their life got alot better when they took up another hobby than gaming, and actually started talking to real people...
another edit: I've been gaming since I was maybe 6 or 7 (my first was Doom
). I assumed this was the case with most gamers but I realise thats probably not true
