Is marriage worth it?

[electric discordian]

Marriage is great, I am a gamer a wow addict and a man who disappears off for weekends at a time to gigs and roleplay sessions. Without marriage I would not have the woman I love, most women legged it in the opposite direction. My wife didn't and then I decided to make an honest woman of here so she could never get away again. The only marriages people hear about are the bad ones, like shopping you very rarely here about someone being served quickly with the correct items. People love to complain people with nothing to complain about either create their own problems or are too happy to moan about anything so there grows a distorted view of marriage.

I have been married six years now so I guess Im a statistical anomally!

 

[FallenRainbows]

Marriage well it's odd, it adds another strain of thought into the process. It alter peoples thinking. Myself do plan to get married but I also plan on it having no alteration on my mind set.

 

[Jinx_Dragon]

Someone, can't remember who, put it like this, paraphrasing of course:

Think of it as a corporation and you are the sole share holder, you own every part of this corporation. Now you get married and now she owns half of the corporation as well. Yesterday you owned it all, now you own half and gained nothing in return. Does that seem like good business sense to you?

I have to agree with him on this point, legally there is NO benefit of marriage for a guy. The law is STILL living in the old days, where the male wasn't just the main provider but the ONLY provider. The female was tasked with raising the kids and keeping the home and in turn would receive half of everything the male makes... from a legal perspective this is and still require to be 'compensated' if divorced simply cause the law believes a female is incapable of supporting herself... what do you think alimony is? This is why, particularly in Australia and the USA, when there is devoice males find themselves with very little rights over the property and even their own children and the females walk away with everything. The law believes a male can 'rebuild' while a female would be devastated in divorce.

So legally there is NO benefit from marriage for a male... you are giving half your stuff away for something you where already getting* and if anything happens your going to be more screwed over, in terms of child-parent relationship and having to pay her for the pleasure of having her take half your stuff!

*You don't just meet someone and marry, your more then likely living together and having a happy relationship without the piece of paper and that is all marriage is. A bit of paper.

 

[geldonyetich]

And here I thought the threads on these forums would never perform a valuable public service. After reading this, I'm thinking pre-nupt [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-nuptial_agreement] or walk.

 

[geldonyetich]

I'm just waiting until man and woman engage in a bloody war to the death over sexism.

I will be atop my fortress, gunning down man and woman alike.

Ah, equality.

Thanks to the wonders of computer gaming, you don't have to wait [http://www.mobygames.com/game/gender-wars].

 

[teisjm]

Thank god Denmark is different. No allimony as far as i know, unless theres a reason to it (like one works while the other goes to school, then they would swap once one is educated) and it can go both ways. noone is pre-entitled to the house. And while the wife gets the children far more often than the man, split custody is the most common thing, and it's not impossible for teh fatehr to get the children.

 

[Nurb]

SNIP

Basically I'm sorry that you feel this way. I feel that marriage is a two way street. Both parties need to know their partners needs and want to full fill them.The key word is WANT in that sentance. I know that this world is more of a "woman gets doted on". That is true. I was in a relationship for 3 years and I was the one doting on my man and paying everything. Even when we moved in together it was like that. He hated it and I didn't mind. I only started to mind when I felt that I wasn't getting anything in return. So I know the feeling it would be nice to be taken care of once in a while lol. I have to say this I know many women who have been fucked over with the court its becoming more and more common.

You misunderstand; I'd LIKE to get married after finding that special someone, but people change, and things get ugly.. I've seen it and at the moment, the risk of my life being ruined over a marriage failing outweighs my desire to be married. I'm willing to cohabitat rather than risk it all for a piece of paper and 3-6months of my salary

You however, are the first woman I've talked to that's done most of the paying and not feeling like you're getting anything in return. You've experienced what a lot of guys feel, that you're a wallet with legs and you've got to spend more money to outdo yourself and the prospect of losing more in marriage is freaky. I think you're more appealing for knowing the similar feelings. (no, I'm not hitting on you lol)

I'm more 'modern' when it comes to dating, meaning giving and getting and not paying for everything, and only be repaid with sex... that sort of dating is basicly prostitution in my opinion. Sex is good, but I don't wanna date a prostitute. A lot of women I've talked to consider paying cheap, and that their company is being paid for and thats good enough and a lot of guys think they're macho for being 'old fashioned' (even though their dates aren't). It's all BS posturing. I also hear "well whoever does the asking out should pay", though when asked if THEY asked any guy out, let alone on a first date, they went quiet or just "once".

I've had trouble finding women who are into "equal dating", caring enough about each other to ask one another out, treat each other on dates rather than expect one to pay and one to put out. knowing more are out there is encouraging

 

[Sipo]

Oh wow, talk about over thinking about it. But this can pretty much sum it up.
[img/]http://www.teesforall.com/images/Humor_Wedding_Game_Over_Black_Shirt.jpg[/img]

i have that on a pair of boxers XD

 

[Sindaine]

Just on the "What makes you think you deserve a good woman?" point. Too many times I have heard women going on about how they want a rich, handsome blah blah blah man and how they only deserve the best. Then you look at these chicks and they are fat, ugly, stupid, no skills or talents. Basically if their dream guy came along, he would not look at these women twice.

But anyway, marriage is a fucking joke. What is worse is now these de facto partnerships. Where if you bang the same person for 2-3 years in a row then they are entitled to half your shit (or at least half the stuff you got within those years) so say you were saving up for a house then after you get with her you buy the house, she lives with you in that house, even though she is putting no $$ towards it. If you break up even if by her cheating on you, she is entitled to half the fucking house.
Fricking women get faaaar too much. We coddle them. I swear, at times I think the middle east really has the right idea on women rights. -.-;

:{ I'm sorry you're still a virgin....

 

[ExaltedK9]

marraige is both a holy union and test of love and patience.sadly,people have little patience and understanding,making most marraiges end in divorce.but if you truly love the person,it's worth taking that chance.

EDIT: on second thought,maybe you shouldn't be asking random morons on the internet(self very much included)about something like this

Yea, what this guy said.

 

[Librarian Mike]

Marriage is great. Some people choose to live common-law and that's cool too. Just make sure you pick the right person, and it will be a blast.

 

[Kushin]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that situation is what society has been reduced to now. In England, women have equal rights but then complain that they are treated the same as a man in a job.

I personally have nothing against a marriage if both parties pull their own weight, if one side expects everything and does nothing then a fracture WILL happen. Equally, if one side wants everything split perfectly evenly then again, shit will hit the fan.

If there's any doubt in your relationship, then get a pre-nuptial or just don't get married yet. If you're only with a girl for the booty, then forget about reaching that happy treasure island.

Remember, the longest sentence in English is 'I Do'

PS: Sorry for the lousy pirate pun.

 

[loremazd]

How can I put this nicely... It's really easy to say what you will and will not do when you're completely removed from a situation. Once you have perspective, you really wont be thnking about the state of the world or the trends of society. You'll just be wanting to live with a person you love, maybe start a family together. Now, thats not to say you shouldn't give it a lot of thought, but a different kind of thinking. You dont think "What do I want?" at this point, you're sitting together and honestly talking about "What do -WE- want?"

 

[Crescent Sun]

After reading this trhead, I'm glad I took the vow of celibacy.

 

[loremazd]

*snip*

:{ I'm sorry you're still a virgin....

I am sorry you are an idiot who makes moronic judgements about people which totally defies logic and common sense.
How would I know about and why would I be soo bitter about the de facto partnership if I had never been in one? Oooooh didn't think about that now did you.
I hate stupid people. -.-;

Honestly what you're saying doesn't help. "Hey, lets hide woman and stone them to death if we think they're cheating! Thats a good idea because i'm pissed off at some Ex!" If you actually were thinking about what you said, you're basically just pissed off at her and condemning all relationships for it. In the end, -we- don't coddle women, you chose to. Can it make it easier to be with immature woman, sure, but in the end you're settling. I claim that you are an immature individual as you take your unhappiness and think that taking away people's happiness in return is a perfectly justifiable idea. Course you may not be an immature individual, you might just be bitter and spouting off. Should that be the case, you'd do well to remember that rants are mostly nonsense, and people will call you out for shouting nonsense.

 

[Leesee]

SNIP

Basically I'm sorry that you feel this way. I feel that marriage is a two way street. Both parties need to know their partners needs and want to full fill them.The key word is WANT in that sentance. I know that this world is more of a "woman gets doted on". That is true. I was in a relationship for 3 years and I was the one doting on my man and paying everything. Even when we moved in together it was like that. He hated it and I didn't mind. I only started to mind when I felt that I wasn't getting anything in return. So I know the feeling it would be nice to be taken care of once in a while lol. I have to say this I know many women who have been fucked over with the court its becoming more and more common.

You misunderstand; I'd LIKE to get married after finding that special someone, but people change, and things get ugly.. I've seen it and at the moment, the risk of my life being ruined over a marriage failing outweighs my desire to be married. I'm willing to cohabitat rather than risk it all for a piece of paper and 3-6months of my salary

You however, are the first woman I've talked to that's done most of the paying and not feeling like you're getting anything in return. You've experienced what a lot of guys feel, that you're a wallet with legs and you've got to spend more money to outdo yourself and the prospect of losing more in marriage is freaky. I think you're more appealing for knowing the similar feelings. (no, I'm not hitting on you lol)

I'm more 'modern' when it comes to dating, meaning giving and getting and not paying for everything, and only be repaid with sex... that sort of dating is basicly prostitution in my opinion. Sex is good, but I don't wanna date a prostitute. A lot of women I've talked to consider paying cheap, and that their company is being paid for and thats good enough and a lot of guys think they're macho for being 'old fashioned' (even though their dates aren't). It's all BS posturing. I also hear "well whoever does the asking out should pay", though when asked if THEY asked any guy out, let alone on a first date, they went quiet or just "once".

I've had trouble finding women who are into "equal dating", caring enough about each other to ask one another out, treat each other on dates rather than expect one to pay and one to put out. knowing more are out there is encouraging

I see what you mean now. Honestly I like the idea of being "old fashioned" but I do love to have my own money and be able to spend it knowing that I earned it and I'm not depending on anyone else but myself. I have learned that being independent is better then being dependent and I think alot of girls out there think that they deserve to be dependent and just repay with company and or sex. Then when things do change, like you said mostly it does, they get a divorce and all they know is kids and housework. To me this is pathetic. I honestly think they should make it a requirement for marriage that both partners have a good job before they get married or at least make a pre-nup a requirement so if things do go south no one gets screwed in the end.
And honestly I think of myself as a girl who knows both sides of the fence when it comes to dating. I know what its like "to be a wallet with legs" and I also know that wanting to be doted on feeling too. Like you I would like to get married and I have seen my fair share of marriages fail. I don't like the idea of getting married and it failing but I also don't want to miss out on something that will really make me happy either. That's just me tho.

Marriage is a journey and its growing together and toughin it out when things do get bad. You just need to choose wisely. Make sure the person you find wants to KNOW you not USE you and really geniunely wants to make you happy and then if you feel the same way... up to you but I'd go for it after a period of 3 years living together. I don't know how you feel about that but I see alot of marriages fail because both parties failed to actually know one anouther. And I'm talking about finding out habits like: him leaving the toilet seat up, her snoring or some other habit that you can't stand. Or not even that at least getting out of the "honeymoon stage" of the relationship where you can't see any flaws in the other person that you will in a year.
It is nice to see that someone else does kinda have the same concern about marriage that I do. And I hope you find someone someday that will full fill what you actually need and doesn't treat you like "a wallet with legs".

 

[Jezzeh]

I think quite a few of you are idiots.

Your viewpoints seem to be quite limited. Forgive me, but I have to be completely honest here. Yes, there are women that are "fat, ugly, stupid, and have no skills" that want nothing more than for some rich snob to sweep them off their feet. But don't worry, kids - They make up for it in the end. What love is there in money?

I think that many of you aren't looking at the entire picture. Since when was marriage entirely about money? I'm not religious, but even to me, it's about much more than that. Marriage is a total commitment, as many of you have said, but from that point on, it seems that most of you divert to a solely cash-related issue. And this isn't the entire problem. A total commitment is one of trust, of complete devotion and love for someone else. Marriage isn't about the money, or the nice house, or the fancy car.

But I'm a girl. So I'm just being a hopeless romantic, right?

I'm engaged to be married in about two years. The exact date isn't set, but my fiance' and I have already agreed on the month and year. Here's the real kicker, though, and something that almost all of you fail to realize: I'M THE ONE MAKING MORE MONEY.

Do any of you honestly think that I give a damn that my fiance' works part time? We make the same amount per hour, but I am full time. I'm the one with the car.

But I'm also the one with debt. And not my own debt, mind you. Debt put in my name by someone who stole my identity.

So... Is this really about money? Oh, wait, most of you will probably try to throw the argument that he's with me for /my/ money and /my/ things. The thing is, I have more stuff because I've actually been given the opportunity. I was given my car when my parents got a new one - My fiance's parents never cared enough to try and find him one. I work full time because we both work at the same place, in the same area, and only one could take the position. You want to know how we decided?

Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Do you guys honestly think that it's about the money? That it's about who works and who cooks and who cleans? About who gets stuck working a 9-5 and who gets stuck wiping their kids' noses?

That thought saddens me. But in truth, it doesn't matter. I'm still going to be getting married, and my fiance' is as excited as I am.

And we don't care about the money.

 

[Leesee]

I think quite a few of you are idiots.

Your viewpoints seem to be quite limited. Forgive me, but I have to be completely honest here. Yes, there are women that are "fat, ugly, stupid, and have no skills" that want nothing more than for some rich snob to sweep them off their feet. But don't worry, kids - They make up for it in the end. What love is there in money?

I think that many of you aren't looking at the entire picture. Since when was marriage entirely about money? I'm not religious, but even to me, it's about much more than that. Marriage is a total commitment, as many of you have said, but from that point on, it seems that most of you divert to a solely cash-related issue. And this isn't the entire problem. A total commitment is one of trust, of complete devotion and love for someone else. Marriage isn't about the money, or the nice house, or the fancy car.

But I'm a girl. So I'm just being a hopeless romantic, right?

I'm engaged to be married in about two years. The exact date isn't set, but my fiance' and I have already agreed on the month and year. Here's the real kicker, though, and something that almost all of you fail to realize: I'M THE ONE MAKING MORE MONEY.

Do any of you honestly think that I give a shit that my fiance' works part time? We make the same amount per hour, but I am full time. I'm the one with the car.

But I'm also the one with debt. And not my own debt, mind you. Debt put in my name by someone who stole my identity.

So... Is this really about money? Oh, wait, most of you will probably try to throw the argument that he's with me for /my/ money and /my/ things. The thing is, I have more stuff because I've actually been given the opportunity. I was given my car when my parents got a new one - My fiance's parents never cared enough to try and find him one. I work full time because we both work at the same place, in the same area, and only one could take the position. You want to know how we decided?

Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Do you guys honestly think that it's about the money? That it's about who works and who cooks and who cleans? About who gets stuck working a 9-5 and who gets stuck wiping their kids' noses?

That thought saddens me. But in truth, it doesn't matter. I'm still going to be getting married, and my fiance' is as excited as I am.

And we don't care about the money.

Thats great I am happy for you congrats. No marriage is not all about money. My experience I was just being used and it made me mad so for me the deal breaker is having no job or not returning favors because face it we all do want to be doted on and many things you can do you don't have to have money. So Congrats on your engagement.