Hello, Escapists. So for the past few months, my dad has been going out on Sundays and staying overnight at some girl's house. The distance isn't exactly short, either. I'm 16, and my parents are still together. He outright told my mother a while back that he was seeing her and assumes that's fine; he spends most Sunday mornings and afternoons with this girl, until Monday or sometimes even Tuesday! He even sometimes does it again later in the week!
And that's not the tip of the iceberg. My mother unfortunately has MS, Multiple Sclerosis; it's not always easy for her to walk. The grass was getting very high, and my dad used to cut the grass on weekends. He now rushes me and my sister out on Saturdays to "spend time with us", preventing him from feeling guilt when he leaves on Sunday. Anyway, because the grass was so high and I was sick, my mom went out with a fever and MS and cut the grass. This is pathetic.
We never decorated for Halloween or Thanksgiving because he's the one that normally gets the stuff down, he lies about going up his mother's who lives up the street from us to instead go to his girlfriend's. He even said he'd help my sister with homework (She's two years younger than me) more than once, and ended up just skipping some math problems she had because he wasn't there. He's also lied to my mother more than once about this.
TL;DR and otherwise; My dad's basically cheating on his wife, and it's affecting all of us. Is he justified at all in doing this? My mom doesn't yell at him or really do much to stress him out as far as I know.
EDIT: Can anyone also tell me what I should do? I don't want to approach him on the subject because I don't know what to say.
EDIT2: Both my sister and myself are in expensive Catholic high schools; my father is the one who pays for them. And my mom is, again, unemployed so she doesn't have much money to live off of.
EDIT3: To clarify some things: We don't know if any sexual happenings are occurring. We only know that my dad is going over her house, and spending the night there. Also, my mom hasn't had MS her whole life. Only since 1998 when my sister was born.
EDIT4: My dad has been divorced once before; this was my mom's first marriage. Both of them are religious, but I somehow doubt that he would be against divorce if he's done it before. The reason I posted here was to see if there were any other ways of thinking about it, that he may be using to justify his reasons.
Edit 5: Thank you all for the support. I've been busy with school and haven't been able to reply, so sorry about that... My dad spoke to me yesterday and said that "his life was in turmoil". Don't get me wrong, I felt bad. Until he left home after I went out with my mom and grandmom (Asked him by the way) to go to his girlfriend's, leaving my sister home alone. And today was the day I got my Junior ring. Thank you to all of those who think he is justified for not reading the whole post!
Look, my mother is sick. She knows he's going out with his girlfriend. They've talked about it before. What is she supposed to say to him? Also, what's going to happen with regards to us if my parents get a divorce? My mother takes care of clothes and cleaning the house, my dad works with decorations, lawn care, etc. She even pays part of the house payment which, along with bills, takes out part of her unemployment compensation. But it's not enough to live off of.
And for those of you inquiring about why he lies, it's because he'd feel guilty if he just left without saying anything or even telling us where he was going. We've all been there; we'd rather lie and act like no one realizes it as opposed to come right out with it. Which I must say is quite immature, because that's something I'd expect from someone my age. Apologies for adding so much, I've just been bogged down with school work; thanks to everyone, even those who think it's justified for providing other points of view. I understand what you mean, but I can neither prove nor disprove what you've said.
And that's not the tip of the iceberg. My mother unfortunately has MS, Multiple Sclerosis; it's not always easy for her to walk. The grass was getting very high, and my dad used to cut the grass on weekends. He now rushes me and my sister out on Saturdays to "spend time with us", preventing him from feeling guilt when he leaves on Sunday. Anyway, because the grass was so high and I was sick, my mom went out with a fever and MS and cut the grass. This is pathetic.
We never decorated for Halloween or Thanksgiving because he's the one that normally gets the stuff down, he lies about going up his mother's who lives up the street from us to instead go to his girlfriend's. He even said he'd help my sister with homework (She's two years younger than me) more than once, and ended up just skipping some math problems she had because he wasn't there. He's also lied to my mother more than once about this.
TL;DR and otherwise; My dad's basically cheating on his wife, and it's affecting all of us. Is he justified at all in doing this? My mom doesn't yell at him or really do much to stress him out as far as I know.
EDIT: Can anyone also tell me what I should do? I don't want to approach him on the subject because I don't know what to say.
EDIT2: Both my sister and myself are in expensive Catholic high schools; my father is the one who pays for them. And my mom is, again, unemployed so she doesn't have much money to live off of.
EDIT3: To clarify some things: We don't know if any sexual happenings are occurring. We only know that my dad is going over her house, and spending the night there. Also, my mom hasn't had MS her whole life. Only since 1998 when my sister was born.
EDIT4: My dad has been divorced once before; this was my mom's first marriage. Both of them are religious, but I somehow doubt that he would be against divorce if he's done it before. The reason I posted here was to see if there were any other ways of thinking about it, that he may be using to justify his reasons.
Edit 5: Thank you all for the support. I've been busy with school and haven't been able to reply, so sorry about that... My dad spoke to me yesterday and said that "his life was in turmoil". Don't get me wrong, I felt bad. Until he left home after I went out with my mom and grandmom (Asked him by the way) to go to his girlfriend's, leaving my sister home alone. And today was the day I got my Junior ring. Thank you to all of those who think he is justified for not reading the whole post!
Look, my mother is sick. She knows he's going out with his girlfriend. They've talked about it before. What is she supposed to say to him? Also, what's going to happen with regards to us if my parents get a divorce? My mother takes care of clothes and cleaning the house, my dad works with decorations, lawn care, etc. She even pays part of the house payment which, along with bills, takes out part of her unemployment compensation. But it's not enough to live off of.
And for those of you inquiring about why he lies, it's because he'd feel guilty if he just left without saying anything or even telling us where he was going. We've all been there; we'd rather lie and act like no one realizes it as opposed to come right out with it. Which I must say is quite immature, because that's something I'd expect from someone my age. Apologies for adding so much, I've just been bogged down with school work; thanks to everyone, even those who think it's justified for providing other points of view. I understand what you mean, but I can neither prove nor disprove what you've said.
. Now I don't know enough to say this for sure, but: