Justin Beiber to publish memoir at age 16.

[Furious Styles]

Chapter 1- Being Born
Chapter 2- Learning to Walk
Chapter 3- Got Record Contract
Chapter 4- Decline
Chapter 5- Hung Self at 17

 

[DarkHourPrince]

Honestly, what's the kid going to write about? "I'm sixteen and I got famous by riding on the coattails of the fantasies of twelve year old girls because my voice is painfully generic and I have a cutesy face?"

That coattails metaphor was rather painfully worked in there.

I accept that he has lived more in a shorter time than most people have in their entire lives, but sixteen year old publishing his memoirs still takes the piss.

Day 1: Found out I was a good singer.
Day 2: Did a concert in Toronto
Day 3: found my first spot. Hope this is not a regular thing!
Day 4: Published memoirs.

"Good" singer? I've heard the kid, he sounds like every other Disney pop star out there. He's generic and has a cute face to the tweens, that's ALL he's got going for him and apparently Disney and a generic voice is all you need to make it big. Look at Miley Cyrus and her song "The Climb." Ouch. That physically hurts me to hear because her voice is so sharp and out of tune.

That and all it takes to publish a book is money. I know, I've published a small book before and all a publishing company cares about is money. If you can afford it, they'll publish it, they don't care how crappy it can be.

 

[miscelaneous]

pfft i don't need his memoir i was pretty much there

This kid is worse:

thats a horrible cover of this song
http://www.iiiiiiii.com/[/quote]
Sweet! A new punching bag. Did you read those comments? What's with all this 'team' nonsense?

 

[senorcromas]

Y'know, I feel bad for Bieber. after all...

<youtube=TAjVnq9xtEU>

Just ignore the horrible rapping about 3 minutes in.

 

[Theraz]

Who`s Justin Bieber ?

 

[EchetusXe]

Chapter 1- Being Born
Chapter 2- Learning to Walk
Chapter 3- Got Record Contract
Chapter 4- Decline
Chapter 5- Hung Self at 17

That would be a hell of a memoir. In 2011 someone actually reads the thing and says "holy crap, he said he was going to do it in his book last year".

Anyone remember the Jonas Bros.? Didn't think so, and i think Bieber will go the same way as them

erm, to Hollywood?

Who`s Justin Bieber ?

Hes some kid who sings and is idolized by a few teenage girls. For this reason he is a massive source of envy for 14 year old boys and strange men who wish they were idolized by tweenagers.

 

[zHellas]

Nah. I bet you 50 bucks he dies of a heroine overdose.

I'd take that bet if it wasn't for the fact that Bieber will no doubt outlive me and that you wouldn't pay up anyway.

Or I could kill him and collect the fifty bucks from your house with Bieber's still beating heart in my hand... wait did you just find the perfect way to get your enemies killed really cheaply?

1st off: Why do you think that Bieber will outlive you?

2ndly: I would probably pay up if I had the cash and knew you.

3rd: What the fuck are you talkin' bout, Willis?

 

[EchetusXe]

Nah. I bet you 50 bucks he dies of a heroine overdose.

I'd take that bet if it wasn't for the fact that Bieber will no doubt outlive me and that you wouldn't pay up anyway.

Or I could kill him and collect the fifty bucks from your house with Bieber's still beating heart in my hand... wait did you just find the perfect way to get your enemies killed really cheaply?

1st off: Why do you think that Bieber will outlive you?

2ndly: I would probably pay up if I had the cash and knew you.

3rd: What the fuck are you talkin' bout, Willis?

1. Hes younger than me and can afford to buy a small orphan child and "borrow" his organs if necessary to keep himself alive.

2. Cool.

3. I'm saying instead of paying some hitman a load of money to kill someone you could have the someone killed much more cheaply by saying to some psycho "I bet you 50 bucks that guy dies of a heart attack, if he dies in any other way then I'll give you the 50 bucks". You wouldn't even be charged as an accessory to murder, though you may violate a few gambling laws.

 

[Furious Styles]

That would be a hell of a memoir. In 2011 someone actually reads the thing and says "holy crap, he said he was going to do it in his book last year".

And it would be preceded by an album of darker material pointing to his suicidal intentions.

He was calling out for help, but we just didn't listen!

 

[Thunderhorse31]

I'm surprised it's only $22, I'm sure his lobotomized tweenage fans would pay ten times as much.

 

[zHellas]

3. I'm saying instead of paying some hitman a load of money to kill someone you could have the someone killed much more cheaply by saying to some psycho "I bet you 50 bucks that guy dies of a heart attack, if he dies in any other way then I'll give you the 50 bucks". You wouldn't even be charged as an accessory to murder, though you may violate a few gambling laws.

I never said that.

 

[The Stonker]

He can sell it anywhere but Canada. We don't want him lol.

Hmmm I can imagine it right now.

"Justin Bieber: How I learned to please the right men".

Now I think this is quite disgusting because common! He's sixteen and he's writing his own biography it's not like there is alot of stuff to write about for instance.
"I sang horribly at a singing competition"
"Then my balls got ripped off"
"And I met Usher!"
There I have summed up his career. Well if he ever had balls in the first place.

Nah. 16 would be more like this.

Woke up with a erection like i always do. Need the sock to help get rid of if. Maybe tomorrow i will start liking girls.

Hey! That's an insult to gay guys
Because I know that I wouldn't go for that it would be like being with a small school girl. (Bi)

 

[historybuff]

Ugh. That's a bit, I don't know, young to do that, don't you think?

Honestly, what's the kid going to write about? "I'm sixteen and I got famous by riding on the coattails of the fantasies of twelve year old girls because my voice is painfully generic and I have a cutesy face?"

What kind of "memoir" would THAT be?

This. Also, I quoted you because, hi, Denmark-in-your-icon.



Anyway. Oh, wow, at the age of 16 he must have many fascinating stories to tell about growing up and living his long life--

Oh. Nevermind.

 

[dark_taint92]

At 16 really? (honestly thought he was about 12 anyway), puberty's going to hit this kid like a train wreck then nobody will want to know who he is. He's not even done anything significant I mean there thousands of 'celebs' these day's and most of them do nothing at all and get paid thousands for it, It's things like this that piss me off xD

 

[Mavvy]

Sorry, why do you care?

 

[The Hairminator]

I bet he'll take the nobel price in literature, too!

 

[GLo Jones]

Does this mean he's nearing the end of his life?

I hope so, and he needs to take Stephenie Meyer with him.

 

[Random Argument Man]

So guys how many months left in his "career" until everyone stops giving a shit?

When the next teenage popstar shows his face, that's when you'll stop hearing about Bieber.

Which shouldn't be long. I'm sure Disney is constructing it's popteen 4.0 right now.