Kim Kardashian: Future Tomb Raider Star?

[Treblaine]

I thought the Tomb Raider games were only eye candy and crappy gameplay anyway.

So why is there so much damn fuss about them becoming eye candy and crappy acting?

I've played the series since the original block-tastic games from the mid 1990's, and I'll have you know they are NOTHING to do with that. Don't fall for the marketing crap of the late 90's where douchebag PR guys ridiculously insisted that the only way to advertise Tomb Raider games was to have promotional pics of Lara in aluring poses:

It's shit like this that was the reason why Tomb Garb (the original creator of Lara Croft and Tomb raider) quite the tomb Raider team, objecting to Lara being tarted up like a bimbo and it cost them in the end.

Consider how she was originally depicted:

This is what Toby Garb had in mind, a positive female role model, not a slut, who both males and females would be proud to play. yes, she IS a woman, she has breast and is not ugly, but how is that unreasonable when they hired Harrison Ford to play Indiana Jones rather than Pee-Wee Herman???

NO BODY buys a game and plays it just to get some "eye candy" the internet has always been full of fap-material. Long gone are the days when films and other media would have to litter their products with sexy stuff because porn was so difficult to obtain judgement-free.

Unfortunately Lara got dragged into the "girl power" movement that was fine by itself, only it sadly ended up as just an excuse for women to act like sluts, probably at the behest of male producers to appeal to men's wallets.

You explore tombs, solve puzzles, fight monsters and bad guys, it's a bloody great adventure and great for speed runs. No game has so far match the sense of openness and discovery that the Tomb Raider games offer.

And I am eternally disappointed that so many fundamentally misunderstand Lara Croft... she is the type of character Joss Whedon would write and frankly I think he is the only one who could do a Tomb Raider film justice.

Tomb Raider is effectively Indiana Jones, but replace Han Solo with a slightly older Buffy, but keep all the confidence of the role.

And I can tell that is not what this new film is even going to ATTEMPT to do. It will be more of the same bullshit, a girl guy would all like to look at... but who would like to BE her?!?

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Not even CLOSE.

Angelina Jolie FTW. She has the attitude, looks and athletics. She is the PERFECT Tomb Raider.

Fishlips? Ugh...I prefer people that aren't plasborgs.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

"This will be something very different to Angelina's Lara. Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience."

Hasn't the ENTIRE Tomb Raider series been aimed at teenage boys?

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

Not even CLOSE.

Angelina Jolie FTW. She has the attitude, looks and athletics. She is the PERFECT Tomb Raider.

Fishlips? Ugh...I prefer people that aren't plasborgs.

Oh snap!

 

[Nurb]

This is it, this is what finally kills off a franchise that should have died a LONG time ago

 

[theultimateend]

I smell another poor film I won't be watching.

Terrible films make more money than good ones.

Or so I'm told.

While I was quite young when I played them and no doubt liked them for the same reasons. The phrase is I couldn't care less. If you can care less then you care a lot.

OR "I couldn't care less" means that you are so infatuated with the topic in question that you are quite literally unable to care less because of how vital you find the topic at hand.

Likewise if you CAN care less that could mean you only care at least more than 0. Caring so little that it is nearly indistinguishable from not caring is still enough to have the availability of reducing your care level.

Turns out there are tons of numbers between 0 and infinity. You don't need either one or the other.

 

[Treblaine]

For women like Hilton, Palin and Kardashian they are "successful" because of their looks, I wish it was more complex but the core reason is their looks. Most men want to have sexual relations with them and women always look for successful role models to emulate as a guide for success in their own lives. Companies buy into this and feed it because they can now create a product to sell to consumers to help promote that person's existence.

Trust me, no guy would touch Hilton, Paris or Kardashian with a 10 foot pole. Maybe it's just that the media-makers think they can "sell" the idea that Hilton and her like are somehow incredibly desirable like Marilyn Monroe.

I'll tell you exactly what this is, it is an emergent behaviour of NEWS MANUFACTURING!

Think about it, REAL celebrities like Lady Ga Ga and so on don't want their private lives pried into by the media, and they have also become very good at driving the media out of their lives and also controlling their exposure.

then the internet comes along and all of a sudden all the tabloids are finding they just don't have enough stories, and they can only make up so much shit and they need some real shit to fill up the content.

Then these attention seeking nobodies like Paris Hilton come along, normally they would be ignored as Vivian Westwood or someone is stalked some more instead, but anti-paparazzi laws are pretty strict now. People like Kardashian are practically begging to be photographed in "oh no, you've photographed me without me expecting *eye-flutter*".

See these "Non-celebrities" are manufactured by the media and they are chosen because they are HIGH PROFILE. Paris Hilton is always out there doing... stuff... they are literal attention whores, there is likely no open agreement between them, but think of it as a symbiotic relationship.

The tabloids, gossip rags and talk shows are able to fill themselves with content about these people and are able to extend their existence even further by talking about why we are talking about them.

Ultimately we all need to GET REAL. Palin is old news, Hilton will never do anything that will directly affect of benefit you. The only reason we should follow celebrities is to find out what they are going to do that influences US! A new movie they are making, a new political movement, whatever.

There is no point talking about why we shouldn't be talking about someone by talking about them.

There is - or was - legitimate reason for Palin to be in the news, she was vice-presidential candidate. But really, she is old news and there is NO POINT covering how she hasn't done much. just ignore her, move on to more interesting politicians.

You can't prove how pointless someone is by talking about them all the time.

I say every time Paris Hilton is brought up, change the subject and act as if she is a nobody (because she is) and focus on people who actually do things that interest you, like Lady Ga Ga and her new album, or what will Steve jobs unveil next from Apple.

I know that is a highly consumerist perspective, but politics too, why talk about failed nobodies like Palin when Obama is walking the tightrope of the appropriate response to the Gulf of Mexico oil crisis?

 

[TsunamiWombat]

...*inhale*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

[Irridium]

I smell another poor film I won't be watching.

Terrible films make more money than good ones.

Or so I'm told.

Looking at the transformers movies that doesn't surprise me.

 

[SnipErlite]

Well. She's kinda hot. Has the curves in the right places.

Wait, actually for a film? Erm....I dunno, she might be a great actress. who knows?

 

[Outright Villainy]

...why? Because she kinda sorta looks like her? She can't act. This should be a complete no brainer, but why the hell would they cast someone who can't act and doesn't really look like the character they're casting?

[small]I can think of two reasons...[/small]
To be honest I don't care in the slightest, Tomb raider never had a very interesting character anyway.
Better her than Megan Fox, I mean they're both idiots but at least Kardashian is actually attractive...

 

[BloodRed Pixel]

what´s the difference between a model and prostitute?

the prostitute gets paid on per customer basis.

Since when do models think they can do something?

(and notice the irony in the sentence above)

 

[Sir Kemper]

No-one is ever gonna beat Alison Carroll

Spoiler

She even has the accent.

Do Want.


Anyway, Why is this being made?

Oh yeah, Teen audiances, Big Boobs, 3D...


Yeah, It's going to suck, but It'll make a fuck ton of money.

 

[The Youth Counselor]

If Fox seriously is so short on ideas that they want another Tomb Raider movie, and if Angelina doesn't wanna do another, they should cast Rhona Mitra.

She's a good actress who's been in some recent hits and was formerly one of the official Lara Croft models.

 

[atombeast707]

if we can put her in the same skin tight suit angelina was in, but take the top third of it off, then i will see this movie.

 

[thethingthatlurks]

Why oh why is it so difficult to convey raucous laughter in text? Seriously, this is hilarious! A bimbo actress portraying a bimbo "archeologist" with a major animal problem and no real talents whatsoever. Oh, and it's in 3D. Yep, that's the quality seal these days...
Yeah, I'm not going to see this...

 

[Super Jamz]

Holy shit i thought she was that crazy indian woman from Footballer's Wives.

 

[night_chrono]

Will jay-z be raiding her womb?

ICEBURN