King of the Hill: AVATAR EDITION

[username sucks]

While all y'all were fightin' over who gets to fight me, I built up some nuclear missiles, which I just launched at you.

*boom*

Now that there's my kind of bomb. Anyway, you still ain't found my hill yet, so I guess I'll build up some more sentries.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

I was hiding under the tank, and he's nuclear proof. Also, we both survived inside the sun - a nuke isn't anywhere near on that level to begin with.

...Okay.

No matter what, there's no way he can bring all those guns to bear at once. They're also probably going to be tough to keep supplied spread out like that. We need to hit and run - call all his sentries over to one alert, then strike somewhere else to keep his forces on the move and open up routes to the hill.

The biggest hill I can see is that one over there. And, yeah, it's covered in blue dots. This should be interesting.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Olympus Mons... now Conagher's fortress... alright, I'll try and pick off some of the sentries from afar before the main assault.

 

[username sucks]

Alright, I think maybe this time a little less gun will work better. Which is why I turned this hill into a rocket.

So now I'm on a rocket propelled hill flying into space. Also, I brought the sentries.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Well, isn't that cute. Unfortunately, here's something interesting: Anything that can conceivably happen, I can cause it to happen. Like, say, your new rocket hill crashing into one of Mars' moons. And you respawning inside a killer whale.

And since there's no other hills left on Mars, we're going to have to get back to Earth, so...I can use the same power to return myself to the place I grew up in. Just like I did on the sun. As for the tank...you can use your imagination while I look for a new hill.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

But wasn't the Earth destroyed by the Sun? Hope you like toast... being toast.

I'm going to get a hill on one of the moons of Jupiter. Theres at least 67 of 'em, so good luck finding it.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

It's entirely possible that Mr. Conagher miscalculated the weight of the earth, and never applied enough thrust to noticeably change the earth's orbit. He's only human, after all. And as long as it's possible...

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Oh, no, he's too smart and industrious for that. I mean, the rough weight of the Earth is recorded on Wikipedia, and he could easily overcompensate.

Do you feel the burn yet?

Anyways, a hint for which of Jupiter's moons I'm on: it is not one of the Galilean ones.

 

[username sucks]

Did that vampire just insult my engineering skills? Maam, I have 11 PhDs in hard science, everything I have ever built is of my own design, and I have never once made a mistake when building anything. So, once you consider all those facts, it is impossible that I would fail on something so simple as a rocket.

So the Earth is inside the sun, you did teleport there, and my rocket hill never crashed, because it is impossible that I would make a mistake calculating the trajectory of the hill rocket either.

And as for the armadillo, I just invented this gravity-boosting device. I just need to point it at Jupiter and pull the trigger, and Jupiter's gravity increases by a factor of three, pulling all moons inside the planet, which I have just done.

Problem solved.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Alright, next stop, moons of Saturn.

Though, you did crash. Not your fault, of course. Its just that your so good that only a godlike vampire could stop your rocket hill, and that you can destroy all 67-odd Jovian moons with a gravity device from inside a whale.

 

[username sucks]

Alright, I can work with this, even though I dont know how I got inside a whale, with the Earth destroyed 'n all.

This whale has soo many structural flaws. Such as the breakable bones, tearable skin, and the lack of thrusters and guns. Luckily I spaun with enough metal to build a dispenser, so I recon I oughta get to work to fix these design flaws.

Armadillo tank, I would like to introduce you to my newest invention, this here whale frigate. I also filled it's stomach with dispensers, so it can recover from just 'bout any injury.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Then try and get me. At least 62 moons of Saturn, only one has a cloaked me on it, and you can't smell in space!

 

[username sucks]

I'll just build a scanner.

Done. Titan, huh? You really thought I wouldn't check there? Whale, launch moon-destroying missiles.

I forgot to mention before, but this is a humpback whale, so the hump is the new hill.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

There is one slight flaw in your design, Conagher. Maybe because of your upbringing, but subtlety doesn't seem to be your strong suit. A metal-covered humpback whale isn't exactly hard to find - or to hang onto the whole way to Titan. Hitch-hiking isn't normally my thing, but in this case, you've justified it.

So that leaves me right on top of that hill on this whale. And if I so much as hear a single beep-beep, I swear, I will rip its head off and throw it at you.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

I love decoys. Decoys get Titan destroyed and not S/2004 S 7, the one I'm currently chilling on. From here, I can take potshots at the Whale Frigate. Like the one that just knocked off the super powered vampire. Whoops.

Why not simply destroy the Whale Frigate? The hill's on it, that's why! *flies over*

 

[NerfedFalcon]

There's a surprising number of ridges on this super-structure. To deflect shots, I assume? Or perhaps it was that you weren't expecting any stowaways would be able to hold onto them and drag their way back onto the surface.

Tank, it's about time you started running, before you get thrown again.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Looks like I have to take a risk and knock off the ridges, too. *boom*boom*boom*

Oh, look, now she's off. And the hull's ripped open, only one chance to knock out those dispensers... *BANG!* ... done!

 

[username sucks]

Time for plan B.

Teleporting the hill and myself to another nebula...now.

Good luck finding me. I didn't specify a galaxy neither.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Just need to take same teleporter... and there's Conagher! *BOOM!* Headshot! And now, to destroy the teleporter exit... *boom!* ...done.

Hill is mine.

 

[thesilentman]

SURPRISE!

MY. FREAKING. HILL!