Last time, we ended by going back to our apartment WAAAAY back from when we first landed on Taris. Our sleep is not peaceful however...
Bastila?...
This is our dream from before... but why is Bastila here?
The ship outside the window fires, and an explosion knocks Revan on his ass.
However, its seems we awaken to a rare moment where Carth's brain actually processes something, he realizes that Bastila has been standing there for quite some time.
"It appears you are still as slow as ever, Carth. Wait a minute... what did you just say?"
"Oh, shut up Bastila. I'm getting real tired of your whining. Your attitude sucks."
Yeah... this is probably the most controversial thing about the Old Republic era. The Jedi are aloof, arrogant, distanced, and generally are just a metaphor for the UK supreme court. Maybe. See, the Jedi are riding high. The entire galaxy regards them as knights in shining armor, and they are very much the heroes of the republic. However, after the beginning of the Jedi Civil War, people began to view the Jedi with more distrust. They realized they were just as tempted by selfish desires as the rest of us. Thing is, the Jedi still acted aloof and arrogant. This REALLY come back to bite the Jedi in the ass in KoTOR II, but the beginnings of it can be seen here.
Except it won't because Battle Meditation is just a plot device and has no real use in gameplay.
"Like Kermit the Frog! Or Bambi!"
"The two of you...SHUT UP! I can't hear myself THINK!"
"Given your general incompetence, that is DEFINITELY going to happen. Let's get as far as we can before you ruin everything for everyone."
"It's like....you have veins pulsating around your face. You look like...Evil incarnate or something."
"No,
mom. It's just the cool look. morality-gauges-that-affect-your-outward-appearance are all the rage these days."
"That sounds perfectly reasonable. But before we go...."
"Before we saved your idiot ass, you mean."
You are underestimating the power of Grenade Spam, lady.
"You didn't escape the Black Vulkars until I arrived, though. Where does that fit in to your scheme of things?"
"What can I say? I'm a talented individual."
Well! Look who's giving us a lecture in modesty! This is
gold.
Because Jedi are the only people who could have done such things. Han Solo, Dash Rendar, Lando Calrissian, R2-D2, THE ENTIRE REBEL ALLIANCE, and the Fett clan would like a word with you, Bastila.
"I think you're underestimating us non-jedi. Get off your fucking high horse already."
"Be glad I'm the Player Cha- I mean, "Force Sensitive", otherwise, you'd still be rotting in a hole at the center of this planet."
So, a Jedi Padawan, an Idiot, a Power Hungry Disney Villain, a fourteen year old, and her pet carpet all go in search of a means of escape. Sounds like the start of a bad joke.
Bastila officially joins our party. She's a Jedi Sentinel, which is the Rogue class of the three Jedi paths. They can use stealth, and are actually more suited to blasters than lightsabers. But, sine I'm sure all of you like lightsabers better, we're gonna stick her with a saber.
As soon as we step out of our apartment, we are greeted by a Twi'lek.
I find this weird. You don't walk up to a person in the street and say "You, Black Person" or "You, Asian." I think this guy is just a racist.
"What do you want, Twi'lek? See, I can do the Racist dance too, asshole."
So...you do want something. You want to give me a message. What is WITH this guy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFKylgGk73I&noredirect=1
"Canderous? The Mandalorian that works for Davik Kang?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeldwfOwuL8&noredirect=1
"Ok, I get the message. I'll go meet him now."
"Erectile disfunction is one of these things, suprisingly enough."
And here's Bastila with her Double-Bladed weapon of choice. She had one before they were cool.
But first.....RANDOM THIEVERY!
your misery gives me power
Back to Taris' surface. We've got business in the local Cantina.
And here we have my favorite character in the whole game. Oh, not in this game. He, like pretty much everyone, doesn't come into their own until the sequel. He's pretty much your standard honor-before-reason warrior dude in this game. He's still pretty badass though, like an old man who can still kick some ass.
"And how do you plan on doing that?"
Carth, If you're still tagging around with Varen, you don't really care about someone's conscience.
"Canderous, my middle name is Crazy."
"Really?"
"Yep. The name's Varen Crazy AxeMurder."
"...Seriously? That's an....ominous name."
"How am I supposed to break into the Military Base?"
"Why the hell are you making ME do this? Aren't you meant to be be a badass mandalorian? Why don't you do it yourself?"
"Okay Canderous, you've got a deal."
"That's what you said about the hustler over at the pool table."
"I am certain that individual was force sensitive. He was able to block out my thoughts."
"Keep justifying your incompetence to yourself Bastila. We all know you suck."
"SHUT UP! I HAZ BATTLE MEDITATION!"
"Yeah, yeah. Come back when it's a useful ability."
*Bastila goes off to cry*
As we leave, Carth wants to talk to us. (sigh). Let's get this over with...
"What's the problem now?"
"Yes. I want to argue with you until you realize your utter uselessness and throw yourself off the highest building on Nar Shaddaa."
"I can make you talk you fucking imbecile. Trust me."
And so began the Jedi Civil War...
"They turned evil. That's just the logical thing to do. These Revan and Malak guys sound pretty smart. Especially Revan."
"You say that with such...Hatred. Gooooooood."
Um...what? If anything, Varen deserves it more than anyone! She's pure evil! Jesus, how much of an idiot is Carth?
Enough of that nonsense. Time to gang up on Bastila!
Wait...what? She did use her Battle Meditation on the Endar Spire? But Carth said earlier that she didn't! What the hell is going on here?
Oh, this is great. This great and powerful Jedi, so important to the war effort, lost her friggin lightsaber. Brilliant.
"Maybe losing lightsabers is a side-effect of her battle menditation?"
"Yeah, especially not our drunken binge in the lower city. That can stay out of the report."
More foreshadowing for the Old Republic. Did Bioware really plan this stuff out?
"What did they see, exactly?"
So while worlds burned under the Mandalorians, the Council just sat there "evaluating" things. To be honest, I'm with Carth on this one. The jedi just sat there, in their academy, playing the fiddle while the republic burned. They're like the Norway of the Star Wars universe.
Bullshit. If Revan had not disobeyed the council, someone would have.
Carth, I hate you, but that line was awesone. We
told her.
Here's the droid shop. Let's get this droid that Canderous was talking about.
"Yeah, yeah. Your life story is fucking fascinating. Gimme Canderous' droid already."
"What? How
dare you! Gimme that droid
right now or I will come down here with Davik Kang's personal army, and when that happens, THERE WILL BE A GREAT RECKONING!"
Hooray!
Here's T3-M4. He's another character that really comes into his own in the sequel, while in this game, he's just sort of...there. Here, I'll show you.
"I want to ask you some questions."
"You didn't even know what I was going to ask!"
"Just chime in if you have any advice."
And that's it. Thats T3. The fucking mercenaries from Neverwinter Nights had more character than this dustbin. T3 has no character. He's just there to fill out the party roster with the obligatory R2-D2 clone.
"Come on T3, lets get you to unlock this door."
And that's it. T3 goes onto the backburner for the rest of time. We will never use, or talk to him, ever again.
As we enter the base, we encounter something we never expected to encounter in a friggin military installation.
Oh shit... Tune in tommorrow, to find out what happens next. Who wants to guess it involves mass murder?