Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
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"I am sure it's fine for them to stay, right?" says Connor.
"No, it's not." says Backroom Six.
"Come on future me, you don't believe in this bull, don't you." says Connor.
"Look, we are fucking up the time line, we have partly caused all this, Martin, we need to leave." says Alexander.
"No, it's not." says Backroom Six.
"Come on future me, you don't believe in this bull, don't you." says Connor.
"Look, we are fucking up the time line, we have partly caused all this, Martin, we need to leave." says Alexander.
[HEADING=1]AT CERES, 30 MINUET BEFORE HAND[/HEADING]
Two men spawn in a cave, one dark and one green. "lol, were are we?"
"I don't know." says The Auditor. They walk further into the cave and run into a the sound of snoring. "Who's that?"
"lol, i dont know." says Tricky.
They get closer as the snoring stops.
Two men spawn in a cave, one dark and one green. "lol, were are we?"
"I don't know." says The Auditor. They walk further into the cave and run into a the sound of snoring. "Who's that?"
"lol, i dont know." says Tricky.
They get closer as the snoring stops.
Who should take control of Sister here at the finally?
[HEADING=1]ON CERES![/HEADING]
As Tricky and the Auditor grope through the cave, a shining black orb appears in the dark.
Tricky: "oooo preety."
As Tricky reaches out to touch the shining object, a second orb appears. Then a third. Then a fourth. The sounds of shuffling are heard as a giant spider crawls toward Tricky and the Auditor, it's eyes glistening off the walls of ice. The Auditor freezes in place.
Auditor: "Tricky? Don't... move..."
As Tricky backs away from the spider, he kicks over a loose pile of rocks. Sensing the sudden movement, the spider shoots a web that traps Tricky. The beast leaps over the defenseless clown.
Auditor: TRICKY!
The spider turns its attention to the Auditor.
Auditor: "Ah, shit!"
The Auditor teleports back to the Mall, leaving Tricky to his fate.
[HEADING=1]IN THE MOJAVE![/HEADING]
"Goddammit, what the Hell was I thinking?! I shouldn't have just gone after her! I'm so fucking stupid!"
The Auditor's hand trembles uncontrollably as he reaches for his flask. He tries taking a swig, but only manages to splash the whiskey over his mouth. He begins to sob.
"Tricky... I'm so sorry."
[HEADING=1]BACK ON CERES![/HEADING]
Near the entrance of the cave, Sister hears Tricky's screams as he is spun in the spider's webbing, being prepared as its next meal.
Sister: "Guess it's time to move on."
The stars in the night-sky glisten off of the valley of ice and rock. Sister lights a torch, puts out the campfire and moves on for better prospects.
[HEADING=1]IN CANTERLOT![/HEADING]
Charlie: "Braeburn's in trouble! I'll be right back."
Bon Bon: "Are you insane? The killer's still in the house!"
Charlie: "I'd be stupid just to leave him up there!"
Bon Bon: "I'm not going up there, but I'm not letting you go alone either."
Charlie: "You know what? I'll go up the stairs and check if the hallway is clear. I won't make you go up if you don't think it's safe."
Bon Bon: "... Fine, but be careful."
Charlie draws his Beretta and cautiously trots up as Bon Bon waits for him near the bottom of the stairs. He checks the rooms around him to make sure they're empty. He holsters his weapon and walks back to the top of the stairs.
Charlie: "You see? Nothing to worry about."
From behind, Charlie's throat is slit. Bon Bon looks on in terror as his dead body rolls down the steps. Looking up, she watches as Krastos aims Charlie's weapon directly at her head.
Bon Bon: NO!
Krastos shoots Bon Bon, blowing away a portion of her skull. She falls to the floor as Krastos retreats back into the shadows.
[HEADING=2]TWO MINUTES LATER![/HEADING]
I cautiously peer out the door, weapon in hand.
RaN: "Clear."
I step into the living room. Roach, Big Mac, and the Chief follow close behind.
Chief: "Braeburn. Status report, over."
No response.
Chief: "Braeburn? Charlie? Bon Bon? Respond dammit!"
Roach: "Uh... Chief?"
Roach stands over the dead body of Charlie.
Chief: "No... No, no, no!"
RaN: "I think it's safe to say shit has officially hit the fan."
As Tricky and the Auditor grope through the cave, a shining black orb appears in the dark.
Tricky: "oooo preety."
As Tricky reaches out to touch the shining object, a second orb appears. Then a third. Then a fourth. The sounds of shuffling are heard as a giant spider crawls toward Tricky and the Auditor, it's eyes glistening off the walls of ice. The Auditor freezes in place.
Auditor: "Tricky? Don't... move..."
As Tricky backs away from the spider, he kicks over a loose pile of rocks. Sensing the sudden movement, the spider shoots a web that traps Tricky. The beast leaps over the defenseless clown.
Auditor: TRICKY!
The spider turns its attention to the Auditor.
Auditor: "Ah, shit!"
The Auditor teleports back to the Mall, leaving Tricky to his fate.
[HEADING=1]IN THE MOJAVE![/HEADING]
"Goddammit, what the Hell was I thinking?! I shouldn't have just gone after her! I'm so fucking stupid!"
The Auditor's hand trembles uncontrollably as he reaches for his flask. He tries taking a swig, but only manages to splash the whiskey over his mouth. He begins to sob.
"Tricky... I'm so sorry."
[HEADING=1]BACK ON CERES![/HEADING]
Near the entrance of the cave, Sister hears Tricky's screams as he is spun in the spider's webbing, being prepared as its next meal.
Sister: "Guess it's time to move on."
The stars in the night-sky glisten off of the valley of ice and rock. Sister lights a torch, puts out the campfire and moves on for better prospects.
[HEADING=1]IN CANTERLOT![/HEADING]
Charlie: "Braeburn's in trouble! I'll be right back."
Bon Bon: "Are you insane? The killer's still in the house!"
Charlie: "I'd be stupid just to leave him up there!"
Bon Bon: "I'm not going up there, but I'm not letting you go alone either."
Charlie: "You know what? I'll go up the stairs and check if the hallway is clear. I won't make you go up if you don't think it's safe."
Bon Bon: "... Fine, but be careful."
Charlie draws his Beretta and cautiously trots up as Bon Bon waits for him near the bottom of the stairs. He checks the rooms around him to make sure they're empty. He holsters his weapon and walks back to the top of the stairs.
Charlie: "You see? Nothing to worry about."
From behind, Charlie's throat is slit. Bon Bon looks on in terror as his dead body rolls down the steps. Looking up, she watches as Krastos aims Charlie's weapon directly at her head.
Bon Bon: NO!
Krastos shoots Bon Bon, blowing away a portion of her skull. She falls to the floor as Krastos retreats back into the shadows.
[HEADING=2]TWO MINUTES LATER![/HEADING]
I cautiously peer out the door, weapon in hand.
RaN: "Clear."
I step into the living room. Roach, Big Mac, and the Chief follow close behind.
Chief: "Braeburn. Status report, over."
No response.
Chief: "Braeburn? Charlie? Bon Bon? Respond dammit!"
Roach: "Uh... Chief?"
Roach stands over the dead body of Charlie.
Chief: "No... No, no, no!"
RaN: "I think it's safe to say shit has officially hit the fan."
[HEADING=1]ON CERES![/HEADING]
After wandering the desolate valley for hours, Sister trips and falls down into a hole.
"Ow! Well, I didn't see that coming."
Torches ordain the brightly lit tunnel that lies ahead of her. With no way to climb up to the surface, Sister walks through the tunnel.
[HEADING=1]IN CANTERLOT![/HEADING]
The Chief spots Bon Bon leaning up against the side of the staircase. Aside from the blatant bullet wound to the head, she looks fine, albeit a bit shaken up.
Chief: "Bon Bon, are you alright?"
Bon Bon: "I'm fine. Oh Celestia, Charlie is dead!"
Chief: "I know, I know."
Bon Bon: "The sick fuck is still upstairs. Be careful."
Chief: "We will. Mac, we're going up top. You stay down here with Bon Bon."
Mac: "Yes, ma'am."
Roach: "I get the feeling things are going to get worse."
RaN: "Lock it down, Roach. We got a job to do."
Roach: "I'm just sayin'."
Weapon in hand, I cautiously walk up to the second floor. Roach and the Chief follow close behind.
After wandering the desolate valley for hours, Sister trips and falls down into a hole.
"Ow! Well, I didn't see that coming."
Torches ordain the brightly lit tunnel that lies ahead of her. With no way to climb up to the surface, Sister walks through the tunnel.
[HEADING=1]IN CANTERLOT![/HEADING]
The Chief spots Bon Bon leaning up against the side of the staircase. Aside from the blatant bullet wound to the head, she looks fine, albeit a bit shaken up.
Chief: "Bon Bon, are you alright?"
Bon Bon: "I'm fine. Oh Celestia, Charlie is dead!"
Chief: "I know, I know."
Bon Bon: "The sick fuck is still upstairs. Be careful."
Chief: "We will. Mac, we're going up top. You stay down here with Bon Bon."
Mac: "Yes, ma'am."
Roach: "I get the feeling things are going to get worse."
RaN: "Lock it down, Roach. We got a job to do."
Roach: "I'm just sayin'."
Weapon in hand, I cautiously walk up to the second floor. Roach and the Chief follow close behind.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE ON THE DALEK ARMADA MOTHERSHIP[/HEADING]
A scarred and crippled man sits in a life support machine harken to a Dalek's bottom half, a full Dalek rolls toward the man, "
, it began, "
"
The man spoke slowly, "
", the man gasped, "
"
A large monitor switches on, one side is me singing into a microphone, the other side is Connor exploring the Sky Fortress. The man grabs his head and sighed, "
"
The Dalek spoke again, "
"
The man took a long gasp, "
", he asked slowly, "
", he was interrupted by a long cough, "
"
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
Robo Waffles kneels in front a throne in an indescribable room, someone sat the throne, whether it was man, woman, or beast, I could not tell you. "Grab the boy." he/she/it spoke. Robo Waffles left the indescribable room and followed it's master's orders to the T.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE AT THE CANADIAN MALL[/HEADING]
"I miss you, baby! And I don't wanna miss a thang!" I sing somewhat off-key, the daemons applaud with glee, Felix rests on a speaker.
"
", a gust of sudden energy blasts the daemons, Felix and me all across the room. "What the fuck was that?!", I scream.
"
", spoke the source of the energy, "
A large shadow slowly engulfs the Sky Fortress.
A scarred and crippled man sits in a life support machine harken to a Dalek's bottom half, a full Dalek rolls toward the man, "
Code:
LORD,
Code:
THE COOL GUY HAS DERIVED FROM PLAN AND HYBRID IS STILL ALIVE.The man spoke slowly, "
Code:
THOSE TWO SHALL BRING OUR EMPIRE DOWN WITH THERE,
Code:
TOMFOOLERY.A large monitor switches on, one side is me singing into a microphone, the other side is Connor exploring the Sky Fortress. The man grabs his head and sighed, "
Code:
THIS IS WHAT I CREATED?The Dalek spoke again, "
Code:
WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THEM?The man took a long gasp, "
Code:
ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
Code:
EXTERMI-
Code:
-NATE![HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
Robo Waffles kneels in front a throne in an indescribable room, someone sat the throne, whether it was man, woman, or beast, I could not tell you. "Grab the boy." he/she/it spoke. Robo Waffles left the indescribable room and followed it's master's orders to the T.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE AT THE CANADIAN MALL[/HEADING]
"I miss you, baby! And I don't wanna miss a thang!" I sing somewhat off-key, the daemons applaud with glee, Felix rests on a speaker.
"
Code:
-1"
Code:
I think you mean,
Code:
'What the fuck is this?'.[HEADING=1]ON CERES![/HEADING]
At the end of the hallway lies an ornate door. Stepping inside the room, she spots a cloaked man meditating in the center of the room.
???: "Good, you are here. Now we can get started."
Sister: "Who are you?"
???: "Someone who can help you return to your home."
[HEADING=2]MEANWHILE![/HEADING]
Above ground, Martin tracks Sister's power levels to a deep pit.
Martin: "Now she's just getting careless."
Martin jumps down into the pit.
At the end of the hallway lies an ornate door. Stepping inside the room, she spots a cloaked man meditating in the center of the room.
???: "Good, you are here. Now we can get started."
Sister: "Who are you?"
???: "Someone who can help you return to your home."
[HEADING=2]MEANWHILE![/HEADING]
Above ground, Martin tracks Sister's power levels to a deep pit.
Martin: "Now she's just getting careless."
Martin jumps down into the pit.
[HEADING=1]ON CERES![/HEADING]
Sister: "How do I know I can trust you?"
???: "You do not have a choice. In this state, you have not noticed that you have been followed here."
Sister: "Impossible! We're billions of miles away from Earth! Even if someone did come here to kill me-"
???: "Do you want to take that risk? Now our other guest has arrived."
Martin kicks down the door.
Martin: "I've finally caught up with you!"
???: "Now you will truly witness the power of the Dark Side."
The cloaked man rises to his feet.
Martin: "Who the Hell are you supposed to be?"
The man reaches out his left arm. Martin feels pressure pressing down and crushing his throat, as if someone were choking him. He is lifted off the ground by the neck.
Martin: "W-Who... are... y-you?!"
???: "That is something I do not wish to tell."
The cloaked man snaps Martin's neck, killing him. Martin's body drops to the floor.
???: "He won't be back. Those who die here suffer a fate far worse than death."
Sister: "So, what happens to me?"
???: "Now your training will begin."
The man wraps his cloak around Sister. The two vanish into thin air, traveling to a place even the Thread's AI knows not of. Only the cloak and Martin's corpse are left behind as evidence of what has transpired.
Sister: "How do I know I can trust you?"
???: "You do not have a choice. In this state, you have not noticed that you have been followed here."
Sister: "Impossible! We're billions of miles away from Earth! Even if someone did come here to kill me-"
???: "Do you want to take that risk? Now our other guest has arrived."
Martin kicks down the door.
Martin: "I've finally caught up with you!"
???: "Now you will truly witness the power of the Dark Side."
The cloaked man rises to his feet.
Martin: "Who the Hell are you supposed to be?"
The man reaches out his left arm. Martin feels pressure pressing down and crushing his throat, as if someone were choking him. He is lifted off the ground by the neck.
Martin: "W-Who... are... y-you?!"
???: "That is something I do not wish to tell."
The cloaked man snaps Martin's neck, killing him. Martin's body drops to the floor.
???: "He won't be back. Those who die here suffer a fate far worse than death."
Sister: "So, what happens to me?"
???: "Now your training will begin."
The man wraps his cloak around Sister. The two vanish into thin air, traveling to a place even the Thread's AI knows not of. Only the cloak and Martin's corpse are left behind as evidence of what has transpired.
"[Perception 15]GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!" yells Backroom, hearing Martin die. "Martin, he's dead."
"Oh shit, by who?" says Alex.
"I don't know, they just teleported, but I can safely say they are gonna take his power, I am gonna get Alexander to spawn all of us outside the cave."
He does so and Alexander spawns them outside. "Guys, I need to tell you something-"
[HEADING=1]At the Mojave[/HEADING]
"Wait, it shows Tricky is on my upgrade list on this Controlled Probability Drive." says the Auditor as he looks at his new PDA. He goes to Tricky's page and sets his stats up
"Martin, he's-"
The Clown teleports in the middle of them and starts beating the crap out of Backroom.
"Oh shit, by who?" says Alex.
"I don't know, they just teleported, but I can safely say they are gonna take his power, I am gonna get Alexander to spawn all of us outside the cave."
He does so and Alexander spawns them outside. "Guys, I need to tell you something-"
[HEADING=1]At the Mojave[/HEADING]
"Wait, it shows Tricky is on my upgrade list on this Controlled Probability Drive." says the Auditor as he looks at his new PDA. He goes to Tricky's page and sets his stats up
[HEADING=1]WARRING, CLOWN HAS BEEN: ENGAGED[/HEADING]
"Martin, he's-"
The Clown teleports in the middle of them and starts beating the crap out of Backroom.
[HEADING=1]At the Mojave[/HEADING]
"OK, maybe the clown wasn't the best person to fight those guys." says The Auditor.
A portal opens behind him. "You there, come, I can give you a power greater than your simple minded technoligy!"
"You know maybe that's not the best idea!" replies the Auditor.
"Fool, don't you know who I am! I am a great power of the DARK SIDE!"
"If I go in there, will you stop being so cryptic?"
"[Lie/Speech 100]Yes, would I lie?"
"[Success]Well I got nothing better to do, I'll go in." and the Auditor walks into the portal and it closes."
[HEADING=1]Back at Martin's dead body.[/HEADING]
"It's showing a power source very great." says Alexander, "I think the guy this belongs to uses the Force, highly likely the darkside."
"But what's his midichlorian cou-" Nega Connor is interrupted by Connor hitting him in the shoulder. "OK, nevermind then."
"OK, maybe the clown wasn't the best person to fight those guys." says The Auditor.
A portal opens behind him. "You there, come, I can give you a power greater than your simple minded technoligy!"
"You know maybe that's not the best idea!" replies the Auditor.
"Fool, don't you know who I am! I am a great power of the DARK SIDE!"
"If I go in there, will you stop being so cryptic?"
"[Lie/Speech 100]Yes, would I lie?"
"[Success]Well I got nothing better to do, I'll go in." and the Auditor walks into the portal and it closes."
[HEADING=1]Back at Martin's dead body.[/HEADING]
"It's showing a power source very great." says Alexander, "I think the guy this belongs to uses the Force, highly likely the darkside."
"But what's his midichlorian cou-" Nega Connor is interrupted by Connor hitting him in the shoulder. "OK, nevermind then."
Backroom shoots Xot in the head with his .45-70 USP. Dead. "Man, this is getting ridiculous, we got to keep some of us alive so we can stop Sister."
Ander goes, "Who would a thunk Xot was evil?"
"Well we were going to tell you, but then we thought we would have a pilot for this sky fortress, speaking of that, we don't have a pilot." says Alexander.
"Hey, I can still fly this thing" says Backroom as he puts on his Power helmet and walks up to the control area. "Oh wait, I have no fucking idea how to fly this thing!" and he walks back down.
"I have no idea how to fucking fly this thing!" says Backroom.
"FUCK!" yells the survivors.
Ander goes, "Who would a thunk Xot was evil?"
"Well we were going to tell you, but then we thought we would have a pilot for this sky fortress, speaking of that, we don't have a pilot." says Alexander.
"Hey, I can still fly this thing" says Backroom as he puts on his Power helmet and walks up to the control area. "Oh wait, I have no fucking idea how to fly this thing!" and he walks back down.
"I have no idea how to fucking fly this thing!" says Backroom.
"FUCK!" yells the survivors.
"Well what do we do now?" says Connor.
"We have to find someway to stop sister and avenge Martin!" says Backroom.
"Maybe we should just take the teleporter?" says Alex.
"Don't you pussy out on us half past me!" says Alexander.
"So, what do we do?" says Connor.
The teleport goes off again with Nega Connor on it.
"Aw fuck!" yells Connor, then remember that he can't lose Nega him as a summon and pulls him back to them.
"I know were sister is!" yell Nega Connor.
"Where?" says Connor, his personalities, Backroom and Alexander.
"The teleports goes though the fourth wall, and I know the cornets to where she is, I'll send you though then I will go though myself!"
He puts in a number on the dashboard, "OK, everyone stand on top of the teleporter, I'll send you though."
They do so and everyone teleports into restraints on the Death Star 3 in the Emperor's room, next to Tox and Futox who are also on the wall.
"Hey guys, how's it hanging?" says Futox.
"Shut up." say everyone else as they hang from the wall.
There is a chair about 50 feet from then turned away with a view of space behind it.
"Is it me, for a moment?"-Connor
"The stars are fallin'"-Backroom
"The heat is risein'"-Connor
"The past is callin'"-Backroom.
Backroom then plays the instrumental for Doctor Jimmy on his synth player, Connor does a guitar chiptune.
"OK, shut the fuck up already!" says Alex.
"The stars are fallin'"-Backroom
"The heat is risein'"-Connor
"The past is callin'"-Backroom.
Backroom then plays the instrumental for Doctor Jimmy on his synth player, Connor does a guitar chiptune.
"OK, shut the fuck up already!" says Alex.