Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
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[HEADING=1]AT THE MALL![/HEADING]
I wake up in the stairwell. The device on my wrist is constricting my arm, cutting off circulation to my hand. I try to activate the device's firing mechanism, but I am instead teleported away.
[HEADING=1]SOMEWHERE ELSE IN SPACE![/HEADING]
I reappear in front of Tox, Ren, and Waffles.
RaN: "Well, shit is awesome now. What did I miss?"
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD![/HEADING]
I walk out the door. Justin and Martin are 8-bit... for some reason.
"I gotta lay off those painkillers."
I have no clue what that says... But I like it.
I wake up in the stairwell. The device on my wrist is constricting my arm, cutting off circulation to my hand. I try to activate the device's firing mechanism, but I am instead teleported away.
[HEADING=1]SOMEWHERE ELSE IN SPACE![/HEADING]
I reappear in front of Tox, Ren, and Waffles.
RaN: "Well, shit is awesome now. What did I miss?"
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD![/HEADING]
I walk out the door. Justin and Martin are 8-bit... for some reason.
"I gotta lay off those painkillers."
RaN: "Well, I can tell you that sounds like bullshit to me."
Tox: "What?"
RaN: "Let me explain. You remember when I told you about what happened before you showed up?"
Tox: "Something about Ren creating a time paradox."
RaN: "Right. Sister created a wormhole between the Mall and the Sahara in an attempt to take over the world. Ren jumped through the wormhole as it closed and traveled into the past, stopping her from taking over the Mall."
Waffles: "I don't see how that is relevant."
RaN: "Here's the thing. When a wormhole destabilizes, it destroys the universe it is generated from. Remember when Sister tried to open another wormhole and screwed up? It wrecked that universe and sent us to the Mojave. The old Mall universe was destroyed. There's no way we can get back to it."
Tox: "So you're saying... what exactly?"
RaN: "If we try to leave this universe and we don't do it right, we kill everyone here. And there'd be no way to bring them back without traveling back in time."
Ren: "How do you know this?"
RaN: "I lived through it. You remember when I stayed behind to to keep those cyborgs from killing you?"
Ren: "Yeah."
RaN: "As soon as that portal shut, the entire Mall universe collapsed in on itself. I would have been stuck in limbo if that time paradox didn't bring me back."
Tox: "What?"
RaN: "Let me explain. You remember when I told you about what happened before you showed up?"
Tox: "Something about Ren creating a time paradox."
RaN: "Right. Sister created a wormhole between the Mall and the Sahara in an attempt to take over the world. Ren jumped through the wormhole as it closed and traveled into the past, stopping her from taking over the Mall."
Waffles: "I don't see how that is relevant."
RaN: "Here's the thing. When a wormhole destabilizes, it destroys the universe it is generated from. Remember when Sister tried to open another wormhole and screwed up? It wrecked that universe and sent us to the Mojave. The old Mall universe was destroyed. There's no way we can get back to it."
Tox: "So you're saying... what exactly?"
RaN: "If we try to leave this universe and we don't do it right, we kill everyone here. And there'd be no way to bring them back without traveling back in time."
Ren: "How do you know this?"
RaN: "I lived through it. You remember when I stayed behind to to keep those cyborgs from killing you?"
Ren: "Yeah."
RaN: "As soon as that portal shut, the entire Mall universe collapsed in on itself. I would have been stuck in limbo if that time paradox didn't bring me back."
"All I'll say is this. Traveling between dimensions is a very delicate process. We can do this if you want, but we can't use brute force to take us to where we are going. We're going to need a little extra help. Fortunately, I know just the person who can handle this sort of thing."
I call Clarence on the phone.
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD![/HEADING]
Clarence: "Hello?"
RaN: Clarence, it's RaNDM. Can I ask your help with something?
Clarence: "I'm a little busy conquering the world at the moment."
RaN: ... Really?
Clarence: "Yes."
RaN: Well, listen. My friends are trying to travel into an alternate dimension. I warned them they could end up destroying the universe but it looks like they still want to go. Can you help us out?
Clarence: "Well, I suppose I can spare a little bit of advice. Do you wish to be transported individually, or do you plan to use a vessel?"
RaN: Uh... Let me get back to you on that.
[HEADING=1]IN SPACE![/HEADING]
RaN: "Do you guys want to travel by ship or go by ourselves?"
I call Clarence on the phone.
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD![/HEADING]
Clarence: "Hello?"
RaN: Clarence, it's RaNDM. Can I ask your help with something?
Clarence: "I'm a little busy conquering the world at the moment."
RaN: ... Really?
Clarence: "Yes."
RaN: Well, listen. My friends are trying to travel into an alternate dimension. I warned them they could end up destroying the universe but it looks like they still want to go. Can you help us out?
Clarence: "Well, I suppose I can spare a little bit of advice. Do you wish to be transported individually, or do you plan to use a vessel?"
RaN: Uh... Let me get back to you on that.
[HEADING=1]IN SPACE![/HEADING]
RaN: "Do you guys want to travel by ship or go by ourselves?"
Tox: "We'll worry about travelling to the other Multiverse and through dimensions later,right now,we need to go back to Canada Mall."
RaN: "Alright then."
I put Clarence back on.
RaN: "There's something we need to take care of first. We might need you again later."
Clarence: As you wish.
I hang up the phone. Tox pilots the ship back to Canada.
RaN: "So, what are we going to do now?"
RaN: "Alright then."
I put Clarence back on.
RaN: "There's something we need to take care of first. We might need you again later."
Clarence: As you wish.
I hang up the phone. Tox pilots the ship back to Canada.
RaN: "So, what are we going to do now?"
"Hey, I would like a recap!" says Real Connor.
Backroom Six (future Connor) walks over to them. "Hey guys, I'm done with my out of plot stuff. How life?" he says.
"Who's this guy?" says Brightside.
"Future Connor, you probably remember past me once worked for your sister, speaking of that." says Backroom. "[Speech 105/Charisma 12]You do know she doesn't give a shit about you, right? She just used you in Mall Fight to keep you from finding out what she was up too."
Backroom Six (future Connor) walks over to them. "Hey guys, I'm done with my out of plot stuff. How life?" he says.
"Who's this guy?" says Brightside.
"Future Connor, you probably remember past me once worked for your sister, speaking of that." says Backroom. "[Speech 105/Charisma 12]You do know she doesn't give a shit about you, right? She just used you in Mall Fight to keep you from finding out what she was up too."
"OK, I'll tell Brightside after you guys fight. Not like he is gonna win, you with your Black sword and all." says Backroom as he sits on a random bench and eats popcorn.
"Wait, so are you guys fighting?" says Backroom, "Aw, I wanted to see martin's soul kick your ass from that black sword Tox is welding."
"Thanks." says Martin.
"Thanks." says Martin.
"Don't tell me, the finalie?" says Backroom.
"Yup." says Tox.
"Is now the best time, Sam is about to explain where mine and his characters have been since they were last mentioned." says Real Connor.
"Yup." says Tox.
"Is now the best time, Sam is about to explain where mine and his characters have been since they were last mentioned." says Real Connor.
"*****!" I yell, bursting out of a doorway behind Backroom and tackling him to the ground. Then I glance up and notice my old frienemy, chatting with the bastard with the overpowered sword.
"Oh, hey, Bryghtside! Where've you been these past howevermany pages?"
"Oh, you know; Abyss of Inactivity..."
"Yeah, I know it well. Anyway, you don't seem awful fond of this "Tox" bloke, an' I've got gripes with this other jerk over here; what say you an' I engage in a sort of double-date of death thing an' deal with our problems in a bro-ish manner?"
"Sounds good to me!"
"Excellent!" I declare, and draw a fresh pair of golf clubs out of somewhere. "Hey. Guess what the "G" stands for." I throw one of my golf-clubs at Backroom, striking him in the forehead, then yank on the chain it was attached to by the handle and bring it around in an arc towards Tox, wrapping the chain around the blade of his sword and pulling it out of his grasp. Then my t-shirt explodes in flames, leaving me shirtless and ever so sexy. "It stands for GOD OF WAR."
"Oh, hey, Bryghtside! Where've you been these past howevermany pages?"
"Oh, you know; Abyss of Inactivity..."
"Yeah, I know it well. Anyway, you don't seem awful fond of this "Tox" bloke, an' I've got gripes with this other jerk over here; what say you an' I engage in a sort of double-date of death thing an' deal with our problems in a bro-ish manner?"
"Sounds good to me!"
"Excellent!" I declare, and draw a fresh pair of golf clubs out of somewhere. "Hey. Guess what the "G" stands for." I throw one of my golf-clubs at Backroom, striking him in the forehead, then yank on the chain it was attached to by the handle and bring it around in an arc towards Tox, wrapping the chain around the blade of his sword and pulling it out of his grasp. Then my t-shirt explodes in flames, leaving me shirtless and ever so sexy. "It stands for GOD OF WAR."
Connor walks over to them. "Hey, what did I miss?" he says to find Backroom lieing on the ground holding his head.
"Why the fuck didn't you play the recording?!" he says.
"Ummmmmmmm, what recording?" says Connor.
Backroom facepalms "We need them with us to help defeat sister! She has gained a shit load of power and is even more evil than before!"
"Oh, how you know that?"
"Because I have been scouting out the muiti-verses and it's collision with the other universes.
"Oh, and Sister is now more powerful?"
"Very."
"Well fuck." says Connor. "Also, where is Tox?"
"He fell for Brightside's trap, he is in limbo, thinking that it is the respawning thing. Speaking of that, you have to go get him out of it."
"How."
"Like this" says Backroom as he shoots Connor in the head.
[HEADING=1]In wherever Tox is at.[/HEADING]
Connor spawns next to Tox, "Hey and stuff."
"Why the fuck didn't you play the recording?!" he says.
"Ummmmmmmm, what recording?" says Connor.
Backroom facepalms "We need them with us to help defeat sister! She has gained a shit load of power and is even more evil than before!"
"Oh, how you know that?"
"Because I have been scouting out the muiti-verses and it's collision with the other universes.
"Oh, and Sister is now more powerful?"
"Very."
"Well fuck." says Connor. "Also, where is Tox?"
"He fell for Brightside's trap, he is in limbo, thinking that it is the respawning thing. Speaking of that, you have to go get him out of it."
"How."
"Like this" says Backroom as he shoots Connor in the head.
[HEADING=1]In wherever Tox is at.[/HEADING]
Connor spawns next to Tox, "Hey and stuff."
[HEADING=1]Back at the Mall[/HEADING]
The browness and camera shaking stops. "What the fuck?" goes Brightside, "I though it wasn't real!"
[HEADING=1]Back at wherever[/HEADING]
"Hum, guess it is real." says Connor.
The browness and camera shaking stops. "What the fuck?" goes Brightside, "I though it wasn't real!"
[HEADING=1]Back at wherever[/HEADING]
"Hum, guess it is real." says Connor.
"Change the sir part of his name to Pooplord!" says Connor.
"I didn't know you read Homestuck?" says Tox.
"What's that?" says Connor.
"..." Tox starts typing.
"I didn't know you read Homestuck?" says Tox.
"What's that?" says Connor.
"..." Tox starts typing.
Code:
------------------------>Bryghtside
------------------------------------->Edit Name
Name: Sir Brightside
New Name: Pooplord Brightside
Y/N? Y
_______________________________________
Name changed to "Pooplord Brightside"
_______________________________________"God, you so fucking stupid." says Connor, "It's sister's system! Of course she has a fail safe!"
"You would of made the same damn mistake!" correctly say Tox.
"Just try to get our lives back." says Connor, knowing he is right.
"You would of made the same damn mistake!" correctly say Tox.
"Just try to get our lives back." says Connor, knowing he is right.