Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[WafflesandBacon]

[HEADING=1]BACK IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"Awesome!", I say in a cheerful tone, "I always wanted a clone of myself, even though you are a little old!".

I stand and shake AltFu. Waffles hand, "I have some many questions and I gotta ask them quick before the universe tries to kill you!", I say referring to the Universal Paradox Code.

For you who don't know the said code, it states that "If one crosses into another universe while his universal counterpart resides, the intruder is destined to die.".

AltFu. Waffles laughs, "

I believe I won't be dying!

"

I give a bemused look, 'Why not? Its destiny, you can't fuck with destiny.", I gasp in shock, "Have you find a loophole!?", I exclaim.

"

Indeed I have.

", he said, stroking his long pure white beard.

I get cheerful, "Do tell! I'd be happy to help!"

"

Fantastic!

", he said also cheerful, "

Because I have kill you

"

I look bemused, "Wha-", I am interrupted by a wire/tentacle grabbing my neck.

[HEADING=1]BACK TO MY BODY[/HEADING]
My body explodes, blood splatters everywhere, even Connor and Tox's body.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor puts his hand on his chin, "Hummm, I don't think my demonic power level is high enough to bring back a dead body as my slave, guess just as a non-slave guy. Too bad, having Waffles as my slave would of been bad ass man."

Tox finishes cleaning off and gives him a look. Connor does this.

"OK, what now?" says Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Now, where is D-FB?" says Connor to himself as Tox exits. He leaves the bathroom and heads for the elevator.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

[HEADING=1]BACK AT SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"Listen here, you old piece of shit clone!", I say, struggling to get out of the tentacle hold, "I don't know what you thought you were thinking, but no one can kill me! Not even me!"

AltFu. chuckles, "

But I know all of your weakness, why do you think you had all of those mannequins when you were walking with Tox and Ren?

"

I get pissed off, then I smile knowingly, "That mean-"

"

Don't try to say 'You have the same weaknesses as me'; I have long forwent humanity.

"

"Really, interesting!", I say, struggling to reach my Dalek Arm. I finally press the Universal S.O.S, transmitting across time and space, I hope someone or something gets it.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

AltFu. looked at me for a second, "

You know I'm part Dalek too, right?

"

"Ah sh-" I get flung into a wall.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"STOP YELLING ON THE SCOUTER!" yells Connor as he walks to the SSF.

Connor gets the command center after getting bitched at and having a irreverent augment with him.

"OK, what now?" says Connor... again.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

My phone goes off, it plays a happy cheerful tune [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_pCaNbhExo]

"

Answer it.

", AltFu. says, emotionless.

I do so, "H-Hello?"

"Howdy!", I/Justin say(s), cheerfully.

"What the hell are you calling me for!?", I/Waffles yells.

"I just wanted to be the voice of expositions,", I/Justin say(s), "AltFu. Waffles is from an alternate universe when Tox decided to go on the lamb from the plot [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.161609-Mall-Fight-Comedy-take-a-peek-inside?page=69#11511277]. When Tox left the universe he left his portal open letting anyone come in and or out. And wouldn't you know it, he came out.", I/Waffle can't see it but I/Justin shrugs,

"He hid under the sub-basements constructing his devices, such as; a interdimesional transporter, a soul stealing apparatus, and the Robo-Clones. When the Mall split he had already went into his new dimension, so he wasn't affected."

"Oh! One last thing! In his timeline, he was overtaken by Dalek ways, killed everyone, and became ruler of the Mall, he even killed Sister, awesome, huh?"

A crash is heard over the phone, "Aw crap! We got trouble! Talk to you later!", I/Justin hangs up.

I look at AltFu. Waffles, he looks back at smiling maliciously.

[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD[/HEADING]
"Step on it, Sage!", I yell, "I don't what the is following us, but there gaining fast!"

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]AT THE MALL![/HEADING]

NaR wakes up and walks back to the front.

NaR: "Hey guys! Hello? You still here?"

He comes across a hallway. Blood and gore is sprayed on the walls. Judging by the clothes and possessions NaR realizes he is staring at Waffles, or at least what's left of him.

RaN (S): "They left you behind."

NaR: "The fuckers. They won't get away from me that easy!"

NaR runs outside and discovers the Ebon Hawk right where he left it. He takes off in pursuit of the Sky Fortress.

[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD![/HEADING]

Looking behind me, I notice some kind of monstrosity chasing us.

Sage: "Hold on a sec. I gotta play some driving music."


Sage: "There we go. Hold on to something!"

I floor the throttle and speed down the highway past 300 mph.

Sage: CHEW ON THAT RECORD, BAKER!

Justin: WHO?!

Sage: HE'S FROM THE SIXTIES! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW!

Twenty minutes later, I realize I've burned through the whole tank. I take my foot off the pedal and coast for an hour.

Sage: "I think we lost whatever the heck that thing was. We should be safe for now."

I pull up in front of a motel.

Sage: "We can stay here for the night. I'm already paying for gas. You guys got any money on you?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
[HEADING=3]Because, that's where I am, not a Alt. Mall[/HEADING]

"

On your feet, weaker part.

", AltFu. Waffles said, calm but malicious.

I stay on the floor, panting heavily.

"

I said, STAND!

", he yelled angrily.

I stand up, slowly, still panting heavily.

"

Now,

", he began, "

Shall you die facing me or will you run?

"

"Neither,", I say, "I'm gonna,", gasp for air, "Teleport!", I fiddle with my arm as quick as I humanly can, a bright light engulfs the room.

[HEADING=1]BRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZP[/HEADING]

I completely disappear, AltFu. smiles, knowingly.

[HEADING=2]At another part of ...Somewhere[/HEADING]

I appear in large room with plethora of technology, "Wow," I say in awe, "I'm awesome!".

A small clanking is heard, I draw my blade and stay on my guard.

Before I know it, I am being upended by a wire tentacle, I thrash to and fro to get out its hold, "Let go of me you goddam Hentai reject!"

I spot a foreign ray gun like device, I quickly grab it with my Dalek Arm and point it at the wire tentacle, "Smile you son-of-"

I pull the trigger a portal sucks me, the tentacle, and some machinery into who knows where, "BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!", I scream as I get suck in.

[HEADING=1]AT THE ALT. MALL[/HEADING]
A young black man with an also young black woman on his arm taps Tox on the shoulder, "Excuse me,", he says, "You're looking for someone named Waffles?"

Spoiler: Tox

I know exactly what you mean about typing on a IPod now, my fingers are killing me.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"I'm, uh...", the man gulped, "I'm Waffles.", he said, his breaking.

The young woman jabbed him with her elbow, "Why the he'll did you say that?!", she whispered angrily.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"That's what I want to know!", 'Waffles' yells, and he met with another elbow jab, "[small]Dammit that hurts![/small] I just heard talk of some guys looking for someone named 'Waffles' and not many people have that name!", he laughed nervously, he then at his female friend to laugh with him, she did not.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Man, this is getting weirder by the second." says Connor to Tox.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

The young couple walks away jabbering at each other.

The Alt. Mall is in an uproar about a spririt roaming around.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"But your name is Martin?" says Connor, a little confused.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" says 500 other Connors as they rise out of the ball pit.

"Oh boy, clones!" says original Connor with glee, "You are now all cool guys, and will be referred to as such, I am the original cool guy!"

"Hey, I'm cool with that." says all the other mes in the ball pit.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

A spirit carrying a blade in his right hand and with a gauntlet on his left, "Who are you people?!", the spirit yells.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I see an army of Toxs and Connors running around in the Mall, "...Why me?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

'Oh right' what!?", I yell at the Original Tox.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I begin slaughtering Tox and Connor clones.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I thrash around the ghost trap, "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SO CAN FUCK SLAUGHTER YOU!".

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"YOU FUCKING DESTROYED MY BODY! I HAVE A FUCKING RIGHT TO BE AS IMMATURE AND AS PISSED OFF AS I FUCKING WANT TO BE!"
I slash, stab and

EXTERMINATE

the ghost traps to get out.