Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[RaNDM G]

NaR: "Tox, can you keep it down? I'm in the middle of a conversation here."

Keanu: "It's okay. I think I've overstayed my welcome."

NaR: "Oh c'mon, don't let him get to you! I was just gonna ask about 47 Ronin!"

Keanu: "No, it's okay. You go ahead. I think I'm just going to stay here."

NaR: "Alright. See you around."

Keanu: "See you."

NaR: "You happy now? You just made Keanu Reeves sad."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I hit Keanu with a chair, "How dare you sully the name of Spike Spiegel!?"

 

[RaNDM G]

Keanu puts on his shades.

"Deal with it."

He takes off and flies into the sky.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I flip off the flying Keanu.

 

[Sam G]

My stomach full of the worst parts of pigs, I finally make my way up to the floor of the Auditor's office. Rather than simply opening the door using the knob like a sane person, I summon five or six spears and shove them through, then yank them out, stick my foot in the hole and work it around until it's big enough to dramatically roll through.

"Alright, you ************!" I declare, pointing both the spears I'm holding at the shadowy black figure standing in the corner of the room. "Now it really is time for you to enter the afterlife! Slowly!"

I throw the spear in my right hand at the Auditor, then teleport behind him and shove him with the heel of my hand, hoping to skewer him through the chest.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Secret Obejctive complete: Don't kill the the Vender

Sam has gained a life for use later in the finally!

The Skewer goes right though him, however he takes no damage and it feels as if it weren't even in him. He then hits you into the corner of his room with the drive and teleports off. As Sam tries to turn of the drive, the Auditor respawns at the entrance with a bazooka. He fires.

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR: "Heh!"

Waffles: "What's so funny?"

NaR: "I just realized Sam is still stuck in his own level. I bet he's failing so hard right now."

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR: "How long are we going to wait here for?"

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR: "Screw that. I'm going to the forest."

NaR walks into the forest in an attempt to further the plot.

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR travels down the trail, wary of his environment. After an hour's walk, he stops by a small frozen creek.

NaR: "This seems like a nice place to rest."

He lies down on the bank and falls asleep.

[HEADING=1]ELSEWHERE![/HEADING]

???: "Sam's progress is at a standstill. Things are not going according to plan."

Sister: "What will you have me do, Master?"

???: "Activate it."

Sister bows to her Master and leaves the chamber. She enters the station's cryogenic chamber and approaches a casket. She inputs a code in a nearby module, popping open the casket. Electricity courses through the man's body.

Frankenstein... is still living.
It can never die... never!
They sewed Frankenstein together and activated it...
They stimulated his heart with electricity...
This palpitating thing is evil...

[HEADING=1]IN THE FOREST![/HEADING]

NaR jolts out of his sleep. From behind him, he senses an empty presence.

NaR: "So, coming here must have been a good idea after all."

He gets up and brushes the snow off his jacket and jeans.

NaR: "If it's a fight you're after, you're in for a world of hurt."

Looking behind him, NaR discovers an enormous monstrosity.

NaR: "Oh shit."

The sound of drums can be heard.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I enter the forest, " Hey, I'm gettin' a pizza an-Holy shit.", I pause, "Yeah, that pizza gonna have to wait.", I say drawing my sword.

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR: "Okay, I can handle this. I just gotta shoot him when his back is turned. Shouldn't be hard, right?"

El Gigante steps on NaR.

NaR: "Ow."

NaR crawls to his feet and scrambles toward Waffles.

NaR: "Got any bright ideas?"

 

[RaNDM G]

A plasma beam hits El Gigante in the back, exposing his... what is that supposed to be anyway?

NaR: "I dunno. You're the narrator here."

Let's call it flagella, that seems to work. NaR motions to Waffles.

NaR: "Let's go."

NaR and Waffles walk up to the monster, who attempts to punch Waffles. He rolls out of the way and charges at El Gigante, slashing his knees with his sword. As the giant is sent to the ground, NaR jumps on the monster's back and hacks at the flagella with his lightsaber. The monster swats at Waffles, sending him flying into a snow bank. He then shakes NaR off, impaling him on a tree branch.

NaR: "Ow!"

Waffles: "You okay?"

NaR: "I'm fine. Just kill that bastard!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I attack the...Flagella (What the hell is that?).

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR: "That's a nice mental image, Futox. Thanks for that."

El Gigante rips a dead tree from the ground and swats at Waffles.

Spoiler: OOC Waffles

Ever play Resident Evil 4? It's the parasite that juts out of El Gigante's back when you damage him enough. It's actually called Plaga, but I couldn't remember what it was called at the time.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Spoiler: RaN

Thank you.

"For the love of Tila Tequila!", I slash the dead tree.

 

[RaNDM G]

Mildly annoyed, El Gigante picks up Futox, examines him, sniffs him, bites his head off and tosses the body aside.

NaR: "Christ, this is bad!"

 

[Ren3004]

I am strolling peacefully in front of a mountain when out of nowhere a giant beast is hurled in my direction and smashes me into the side of the geographical elevation.

After I respawn, I pick up a tree branch, set it on fire and run towards where the beast came from, vowing revenge.

 

[Ren3004]

I hear footsteps coming in my direction. I climb up a tree and watch as Martin and Futox appear.

 

[Ren3004]

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH" I shout, as I jump down from the tree and attack Martin and Futox.