Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Connor Lonske]

"There is a reason I don't write in the first person, make things too out of focus, seeing how we know that the narrator, even me, are not real. Like when Hussie breaks the fourth wall in Homestuck." say Real Connor.

"What's Homestuck?" goes Connor.

"See, why do I want to write myself as that idiot?" says Real Connor.

 

[Ren3004]

Suddenly, we are attacked by a giant monster with hundreds of tentacles.

 

[Ren3004]

I fire a lightning bolt at the monster.

 

[Ren3004]

I put two points into Intelligence and one in Cunning. I also pick a new spell: Black Hole.

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]In the Nevada Police station[/HEADING]

"Sir, NaR has escape along with a few other convicts." says the sheriff.

"The fuck? How?" says Connor.

"He smashed the lock, killed a few cops, and teleported out." says the sheriff.

"How the fuck did he do that?" say Connor.

"The Auditor has a teleporter in all the station that's can go to different muitiverces."

"Why would you have that here?!"

"'Cause Madness 2 wasn't a level in the finally."

"OK, I'm going after him. You go not fuck up this universe."

[HEADING=1]After Connor does a bunch of shit to get to the binary zone...[/HEADING]

Connor makes it to the zone, in front of a library.

"Huh."

He goes in and looks for the other players.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Hey, I think the Daleks are coming soon. Also, anybody got a computer and pesterchum?" say Connor.

 

[Ren3004]

I summon a computer and pesterchum.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Cool" Connor goes on the PC.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog/DALEKTALK

-- coolGuy [CG] began pestering unitD-FB [UD] --
CG: Hey D-FB

[color=#aa0000]UD: HELLO COOL GUY[/color]

CG: Can you tell me how you are to the muitiverse?

[color=#aa0000]UD: CLOSE. OUR TECH IS SLOW, BUT OUR MUITIVERSE TRAVEL ABILTYS ARE CAPBIAL[/color]

CG: OK, I'll get the players back to Nevada

[color=#aa0000]UD: AFERMITIVE, PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THAT UNIVERCE IS LOCATED.[/color]

"Hey, where's Nevada located in the Muitiverse?" says Connor.

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR: "So, can someone tell me how screwed the multiverse is getting?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"K" says Connor as he starts typing again.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog/DALEKTALK

CG: In the north west part if you were looking on a map.

[color=#aa0000]UD: UNDERSTOOD COOL GUY[/color]
[color=#aa0000]UD: WE WILL GO THERE[/color]
[color=#aa0000]UD: EXPECT US IN 30 HUMAN MINUETS[/color]
[color=#aa0000]UD: WE WILL DISCONECT NOW[/color]

CG: See you there cool guy.
-- coolGuy [CG] ceased pestering unitD-FB [UD] --

"OK, we got to get back to Nevada quickly, Tox, can you use binary to get us back there, I don't want to waste my last 19 uses your forced me to have."

"Yeah, what's up with that?" goes Ander.

 

[Ren3004]

"Nice place."

 

[Connor Lonske]

"OK, we got about, 25 minuets till the Daleks show up." says Connor. "Wait, I got an idea!"

>give lives_infinite_players_Tox+summons
>give lives_infinite_players_Connor+summons
>give lives_infinite_RaN
>give lives_infinite_Knife
>give lives_infinite_Ren
>give lives_infinite_Waffles
>remove lives_all_NaR
>kill player_leave spirit_NaR
y/n to all? This will take 9 uses of binary.
>y_to all

NaR explodes next to Tox, he is covered in blood.

"Real funny Connor!" says Tox.

ALL PLAYER HAS GAINED INFINITE LIVES.

NaR is out of lives...

RaN has gained a summon... NaR's zombie ghost!

NaR's abiltiys: None. Can be killed by exploding houses.

RaN respawns.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Ha ha, one of NaR's eyes is in your perm." say Ander. He and Connor laugh.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor shoots Tox in the leg.

"The fuck?" says Tox.

Connor takes a shoot at Tox's head, he dies and respawns.

[ooc=Who wants to kill each other for no good reason for the rest of the night? Yes, I'm awesome.]

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Ow, cool guy why would you do that?" says Connor as he falls to the ground not facing Tox with his hand on his stomect by Tox's eye.

"Well, I uh?" Tox looks away for a second.

"Exterminate." says Connor as Tox is blasted into the the orbit of Nevada and dies again.

"If this post ends in 32 I get a sandwich due to improbability!" says Connor to the higher powers.

EDIT:

"Here you go." says Ander and he gives Connor a sandwich.

"Yummy." says Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor's Dalek skeleton come up as he finishes his sandwich and EXTERMINATES him, Martin, Futox, and Toxter with a wide range EXTERMINATION BEAM.

He then shoots himself in the head, respawns, and says "If this post is a even number, then I get a fluffanuter sandwich WITH BANANAS IN IT!"

"YOUR INSANE!" yells all the others.

Edit: The gods spawn the most epic sandwich ever.

"Nom nom nom" says Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor respawns hundreds of miles away.

>change climate_no binary_arid
y/n?
>y
Temperature raised to 130 degrees Fahrenheit.

The Choco Taco starts to melt at a very rapid rate, starting to flood Nevada with melty ice cream

>spawn_dark choco taco_Connor
Spawing...

Connor eats the origaly made dark Choco-Taco.

";3"

 

[Connor Lonske]

>change speech patterns_Tox_to_Sweet Bro_timer_one

Tox now sounds like Sweet Bro and will spell like him for the next post.

"Feh, I know a good joke when I see one. I'm going to sleep." Connor finishes the taco, and goes to sleep on the ground.

 

[RaNDM G]

RaN: "Alright, I'm back! Shit's awesome now!"

I pat around my chest and arms to make sure everything's still there... I think I'm okay. I don't think anything's broken or missing. But something just doesn't feel quite right.

I take out my knife. NaR's face stares back in my reflection.

NaR: "Surprised?"

I get spooked when I see my own decomposed corpse standing behind me.

NaR: "Fucking Connor didn't bring you back from the dead. He just switched our bodies and turned me into a walking corpse."

RaN: "Fine with me I guess. I don't think there would've been another way for me to come back."

I look down at my left hand. The bracelet is still there, just a little banged up.

NaR: "Kill me."

RaN: "What?"

NaR: "I don't want to be a fucking ghost. Just shoot me and get it over with."

RaN: "... If that's what you want."

I shake NaR's hand.

RaN: "It was nice knowing you."

A bolt of energy fires from my bracelet, engulfing NaR in flames. He gives me the one finger salute before letting himself die. The fire reduces his body to embers that scatter in the wind.

I check my gear. I've got a Colt Python with about 50 spare rounds, an M4A1 with an underslung shotgun, a lightsaber, a knife, and a banjo.

RaN: "What the fuck was he doing with a banjo?"

I toss the banjo in the fire and sit down. I look up into the night sky. It's a beautiful Mojave night.

I close my eyes and fall asleep.

 

[Knife-28]

"Gah, why must I be the only one in a +10 GMT timezone!" I say, before running around and shooting things with little to no regard to the plot I know nothing about.