Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Teddy Roosevelt]

The last group of zombies charges along the failing bridge. As they clog the passage, the steel girders within groan in their final, agonizing lament, and crumble. The zombies fall to the ground amidst a shower of rubble. Suddenly, I hear an American bugle, and a full fifty Rough Riders charge to my rescue.

We raid the hunting store for ammunition for our Krag-Jørgensen rifles. Laden with rounds aplenty, we charge out toward the Tim Horton's. We fan out, keeping our distance while Xadus117 tries to beat us back with his bolter. However, our sounding bugles attract the full might of my Rough Riders in the nearby area. 150 men siege the Tim Horton's while Xandus returns fire. My men scramble to find objects from around he area to build up sizeable fortifications of our own to serve as siege works. All the other Rough Riders, including myself, lay down heavy fire with our rifles. Even Xandus117's bolter cannot defeat our might.

We continue to lay down fire to keep Xandus' head down, since just one hit is enough to take him out for good.

 

[RockyH]

I suddenly respawn inside the fortress, and see Xandus taking cover. I quickly run over to him. 'I propose we work together to defeat this Teddy chap, hmm?'

 

[Teddy Roosevelt]

The lions land among the army of Rough Riders, but are immediately met by a wall of .30-40 Krag rounds from the troops. Those that charge are met by brave Riders thrusting bayonets to jugulars. Several Riders fall, but the lions are beaten back.

I see that my shot hits home, but my enemy has a friend beside him. I decide that we must storm the fortress in order to defeat them, so I order all available men to lay down covering fire and lob lit sticks of dynamite at the defenders while four men with dynamite packages run out and rig the closed drawbridge with explosives.


I continuously work the bolt on my weapon, firing wherever I get a chance. The demo-team returns to me, giving me the detonator. I push down on the plunger, activating the dynamite bundles. The blast sends shockwaves through the air and slices right through the wood and metal frame of the drawbridge, sending shards ricocheting inside the building. A thick grey cloud of dust and smoke hangs in the air, creating a weak smoke screen for the Rough Riders as they fix bayonets and charge into the breach en masse. Several men attack the sentries in an attempt to disable them as the men rush through the shattered gate of Xandus' citadel.

 

[Teddy Roosevelt]

The Rough Riders are taken aback for a brief time, under fire from Xandus' bolter, but I quickly rally my men, and the sounding bugles alert the surrounding Riders to the situation. Many flood the area, bringing fire extinguishers and buckets of water, anything that can create a shield of water.

Meanwhile, the Riders inside the Tim Horton's spread out, making sure that each bolter shot kills as few men as possible. While evading Xandus' firepower, they also fire as many .30-40 Krag rounds at him as they can from their bolt-action Krag-Jørgensen rifles, each shot a powerful killing blow if aimed well.

Soon, the roaring flames exhaust the fuel supply in the moat, allowing my men to throw together a make shift bridge out of ladders and such to charge in. They relieve our numbers inside, giving us a phalanx of rifles and bayonets to charge the armory.

I fire twice, the second shot silences Kandus' bolter as he backs away, as the round strikes the wall close to his head, at which point he breaks into a run to the armory.

 

[Knife-28]

In the sewers a hobo notices a strange object floating along the polluted waters. He drops his bindle and waids out into the water and returns the object to shore. Studying the object closer he finds it's a person trapped in carbonite. Tentatively he presses one of the buttons, causing me to be released. When I realise I can't see I feel around to try to find where I am. I jerk away when the hobo puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Relax" He says "I'm a friend".

 

[Ren3004]

Back in the mall, I crash through the skylight, making shards of glass rain down on the people below me. I pick up a sledgehammer someone left nearby and walk away.

 

[CloggedDonkey]

"Okay, where am I now? I really need to stop leaving this thing for dead." I say as I re-materialize in the "Starship Store". I look around and see a giant pirate wheel in the "vanity" section. I, using only the wheel, wielding tools, a two-by-four, and a shotgun, make a shotgun wielded to a giant pirate wheel and a burning two-by-four. "Yes, the ultimate weapon." I say as I leave the store in search of someone to test my weapon of doom on.

 

[Stone Wera]

I poke my head outside of a manhole to find an astonishing sight, Teddy Roosevelt and company laying waste to a large fortress... I sneak behind Teddy and take his wallet, leaving a little suprise in his back pocket. I quickly but quietly make my way back down into my sewer. I pull a detonator out of my oversized clown shoes and push the handle. The "suprise" in Teddy's pocket explodes, blowing him to a thousand peices, his head lands inside the base, and coincidentally right infront of Xandus.

 

[CloggedDonkey]

I see the car fly off from some kind of fort and start shooting at it with my shotgun (pirate wheel and flaming two-by-four being useless in this situation). "Hey, pull over! I need a ride!" I yell as I ran at the car.

 

[Knife-28]

While walking along the sewers when the Hobo stops me. When I ask what's wrong, the he shushes me.
"Listen".
Puzzled by this I stand still and listen. After standing still for about a minute I'm tempted to leave when I hear a quite ticking noise. The Hobo puts his ear to the sewer wall and his eyes widen it terror.
"Get down!"
He tackles me to the ground and a moment later an explosion rocks the tunnel. When the dust clears I find I can see again, though what I see makes me wish I couldn't, standing infront of us is the Manager-Sister hybrid. It(?) seems just as shocked to see us as we are to see it, it's confusion quickly turns to malice as it brings it's assault rifle to bear.
As it fires, a crocodile jumps out of the sewer water and clamps it's jaws around the Manager-Sister hybrid's midsection,causing it's shot to go wide. It lets out and agonising scream (The Manager-Sister hybrid that is) as the crocodile drags it down into the dark sewer water.

I hear a strangled gasp from behind me and see that the Hobo Manager-Sister hybrid hit him.
"Well that wasn't expected" is all he can utter before he topples into the water, polluting it with odd shoes.
I just stand there in stunned silence.

 

[Czargent Sane]

"okay, this is either dead rising or a meta RP.
I say to my self as I peer out into the mall from the bathroom.
"please be dead rising, please be dead rising"
I look and see a small burning castle being stormed by 18th century soldiers who are being run over by a car.

"oh god dammit!"

 

[CloggedDonkey]

I get hit in the arm. "Fuck you then!" I scream as I toss the pirate wheel after the car like a shuriken (because I'm that hard-fucking-core) and run away to the nearest pet store, get a few thousand fish, and wait for a victim.

 

[Knife-28]

Splash
As I sink to the bottom, try as it might, my mind can't seem to move my body. Faintly aware that M is trying to tell me somthing.
My eyes lazily explore the murky water. Looking, searching.
'There'
Somthing glinting in the darkness. My eyes try to focus on it, unsuccessfully.
A stream of air bubbles appears from the source of the glint.
Pain blossoms in my shoulder.
Something awakens, something...primal.

 

[Stone Wera]

I swim topside, coming up through the fountain, I see Clogged Donkey heading into the pet store.
"Hey, Donkey!"
Run into the store after him.

 

[CloggedDonkey]

"Fool! You have fallen for my trap!" I yell as thousands of fish fall on top of Stone Wera. "Whuhahahaha!" I walk off and find take the arm of Stone Wera to use as a weapon.