Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[ShindoL Shill]

My mask prevents the tulpa from gagging me.
"If they shot me, they would blow up about half the room. Incidentally, you're very lucky that didn't happen when your tulpa tackled me."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I phone Paddy.
"Dude, the chickens are taking care of all the guards. Have you been paying attention at all?"
I put on a balaclava, and a pair of sunglasses.
"There, disguised." I say to Trilby.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Could you untie me, please?" I ask Zombie.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I'm more focused on you not paying any attention to my plan which is working! WORKING! And instead trying to take everyone hostage! Just let me do this my way and once we have the door you can do whatever the fuck you want!" My tulpa takes off Trilby's mask, gags him, and stabs him in the eyes.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I untie Trilby.
"Paddy's right, we should just...I dunno. Watch the death chickens."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Thank you! When I'm done I will call you, and you do whatever the fuck you want. WHEN. I'M. DONE."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I pull on a frog mask.
"Hotline Miami, dude."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Fucking totally." I hang up on Paddy, and pocket the phone.
"Now that all of that is out the way..."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I throw confetti at everyone.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn due to the eye-stabbing.
"Your plan isn't working, because the thing you're trying to buy isn't available yet."
I retrieve my mask, rifle and dropped bottle of nitroglycerin, then kick in the door to the auction.
"EVERYBODY ON THE FUCKING GROUND OR I WILL BLOW US ALL TO HELL!"
I fire a burst into the crowd.
"Nobody try to be a hero, or you'll just make things worse for us all!"
I stare directly at Paddy.
"NOBODY."

 

[Paddy the Second]

I shoot Trilby in the face. He dies. My tulpa is waiting for him when he respawns. "MAYBE IF YOU COULD WAIT FOR TEN FUCKING MINUTES IT WOULD COME UP AND MY PLAN WOULD BE FINE YOU ****!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Subtle." I throw a flash bang into the auction hall, for no particular reason.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I superglue Trilbys hands to his face.

 

[Paddy the Second]

I kick the flashbang out of a window. "NOTHING'S GONNA STOP THIS AUCTION YOU DICKBAGS!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

The dying causes me to drop the bottle of nitroglycerin, which explodes and subsequently scatters and detonates the other three bottles across the room, causing death and destruction.
I respawn next to Zombie.
"Paddy really should take my warnings seriously."

 

[Paddy the Second]

I kill Trilby several times in an extremely painful manner. Each time I pronounce one syllable. "BE PA-TIENT YOU FUCK-ING ARSE AND LET ME DO THINGS AC-CORD-ING TO MY NO FUCK-ING TER-RIB-LE PLAN!"

 

[Sigma Castell]

I superglue Paddys pockets shut.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn.
"By 'not terrible', you mean the plan which requires you to waste time buying bullshit, which lowers the funds you have available to buy the one thing we need and therefore makes it less likely we'll ever even get it because we have no idea who else wants it and how much money THEY have available?"

 

[Sigma Castell]

"I'm pretty sure we have infinite funds."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Actually, we only have $27,240,000."