Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[MinimanZombie]

"But maybe, in some weird sense, he won. Somehow-SNEAK ATTACK!" I shoot Salt in the stomach.
[OOC: Captcha - Zombie Attack. How fitting.]

 

[Saltarius]

I collapse and lie on the floor.

"...I think my stomach acid is leaking onto my organs."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I poke Salt's insides.
"Yep. In my not-at-all professional opinion, I can say with certainty that your stomach acid is leaking out. As a definite non-doctor, I have to tell you that that is bad. I would recommend a bullet to the face, administered twice daily from some form of firearm, for the next two weeks."

 

[Saltarius]

"Trilby. In my professional opinion, you can go suck a fat one."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I would, but Knife won't let me."
I shoot Salt in the face.
"There. You're fixed."

 

[Saltarius]

I respawn and shoot Trilby in the eyes with my paintball gun.

"Non-lethal, but I hardly give a fuck."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I wipe the paint off my welding goggles.
"Sorry for not letting you die a slow, painful death."

 

[Saltarius]

"I prefer that someone else do it over you."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Nobody else did, though."

 

[Saltarius]

"Even then I prefer it to you doing it."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, sorry."
I shoot Salt in the stomach again.
"There. Now it's like I never helped you."
I walk off.

 

[Saltarius]

"Note to self. Leave Trilby on next planet we go to."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"You of all people should know how well staying on a planet when the Mall leaves ends." I point out.

 

[Saltarius]

"I was secretly hoping the matrix would take priority and forget about you."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"And you wonder why I'm not trying very hard to not be a dick to you."

 

[Saltarius]

"Just because you're trying not to be a dick doesn't mean I have to be nice to you."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Yeah, but if you're not nice to me, then what motivation do I have not to be a dick? Do unto others, or some shit like that."

 

[Saltarius]

"If you truly cared about becoming a better person, you wouldn't let it get to you. But this cycle of logic is just becoming recursive."

I get my stomach acid into a plastic cup and pour it on Trilby's face.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, maybe I'm just not as thick-skinned as you."

I'm too far away for the acid to hit.

 

[Saltarius]

"Not being a ***** helps."