Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Paddy the Second]

"Yeah I've just been doing some bullshit in a church crypt for what feels like a month so I don't. What'd I miss?"

 

[Saltarius]

"..."

I gesture to myself and Diamond.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I find Salt and the Tulpa.
"Oh hey guys, man imagine stumbling onto you two here!"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Wait who is this?" I ask about Diamond. "Oh god is this a date? Oh christ I'm sorry." My tulpa leaps for the door and falls through it.

 

[Saltarius]

"Wh-No, dude it's cool you can...fuck."

 

[Paddy the Second]

The tulpa sticks his head back through the door. "Yeah so I'm an idiot and I've never met you before." I say to Diamond. "Would someone please explain what's going on?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Man, I stumbled across you two at an awkward time too! Oh my, how unlucky!"

 

[Saltarius]

"...Where to begin?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"About the time I left to do my quest maybe?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well Paddy, Diamond be stealing your man! And you."
I turn to Diamond.
"Diamond, this guy, Paddy, he's been stealing your man preemptively!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Let's see...nothing....sort of was in relationship with Sister, but not really...the whole...gender ordeal...met Diamond...here we are."

"...Not a man, asshole."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Yo dude, I be using it as a term to refer to you as a human being in general! I don't mean to refer to you as a male, but I can totes see the confusion yo!"
I slam a chili dog into Salts face.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Congrats and then condolences for Sister, also I've been stealing nobody from no one, also Zombie." I slap Zombie. "Respect Salt's pronouns. Which are? Also hi Diamond nice to meet you I slept with Salt a couple times a while back. Also Salt I thought what we had was special!"

 

[Saltarius]

"...Brother, you broke us up like twice. I took the hint."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"When did I break us up? Also Brother?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Just a term. And let's see...the time you blabbed, the second time we banged...pretty much every instance."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Oh snap. You see Diamond, this is why you should go on a date with someone with a lot less baggage and drama surrounding them! Like Sigma, or maybe Trilby."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I never said I wanted us to stop."

 

[Saltarius]

"Hey, Zombie. Get the fuck out."

"Sorry dude. Not happening. Also, just regular feminine pros."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"I think Diamond and Sigma would make a wonderful couple though!"