Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"Trilby, that going to cost you an arm and a leg."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I have spares."

 

[Knife-28]

"I'm acutally being a big shit, Hindenburg chest." Knife calls back, sidestepping the shots and sweeping the jet of flame over Salt.

 

[Saltarius]

I duck, crawling as fast as I can to Knife and sweeping his legs, then jamming my syringe into his eye repeatedly.

"FUCK. YOU. CHEST. NOT THAT BIG."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I place my hands on the completed circle. Blue electricity sparks across the wall and floor. The transmutation circle begins to glow with magical scientific energy. After a few seconds, I look at my creation; a small porthole.
I peer out at the thing.

 

[Knife-28]

"Keep telling yourself that balloon breasts."

Knife headbutts Salt, wincing in pain from the syringe in his eye and wraps his robotic hand around Salts neck, a click coming from the fingers as they lock in position.

 

[Saltarius]

"How original."

I press my revolver to my head, pulling the trigger and dying, respawning behind Knife. I deliver a deft punch to the back of the head.

"They're not."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I shoot Salt and Knife in the shoulders.
"JESUS H. CHRISTMAS THERE IS A LARGE THING CRUSHING THE SHIP AND YOU ARE FIGHTING OVER SALT'S MASSIVE TITS! What the shitting hell is wrong with you two? God fucking dammit..."

 

[Saltarius]

"...He started it. Plus, plot unable to advance without someone who isn't us. Why bother?"

 

[Knife-28]

"Exactly." Knife says, kicking he gun out of Trilby's hands and hitting Salt in the stomach on the backswing.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"You could at least ACT like you give a shit."
Knife breaks his foot on my metal hand. Or makes a really annoying clang, depending on which leg he used. Either way, I still have the gun.

 

[Saltarius]

"...Maybe get reduction."

 

[Knife-28]

"Yea, just maybe." Knife says sarcasticly, before jumping over the railing and respawning a moment later with full use of his arms. "So, what's this about something crushing the ship?"

 

[Saltarius]

I press my revolver to my head, shooting myself and respawning, cramped in the space inside the porthole, Mall-side.

"Fuck."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Basically, there's a thing outside crushing the ship. Artie's using most of its power to stop us being squished. The thing is preventing us from moving anywhere. So... we're probably buggered."
I turn to the porthole to try and see what the thing is. I spot Salt inside.
"Salt what"
...
"Just what"

 

[Paddy the Second]

Paddybot extends surgical tools from its hands. "Reduction?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I stare at Paddybot's surgical tools.
"I don't remember putting them inside you..."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You can't control me!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I activate the remote controls for Paddybot, causing it to begin dancing.
"Yes I can."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I was expecting something along these lines!"