Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"I was neva told of a love interest! What's that asshole do-Wait, are you talkin' this mall or the main one?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I want to see what happens when you kill a former US President with guns infused with American-ness. And no, not really."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Whoops, mixed my gender pronouns. Forgive me." I turn to the president, "I don't know anything about the so-called "main", but I'm guessing she's a strikeout there too."

 

[Saltarius]

BACK TO SALT.

"...You have to ask what I'm applying for first, because I enjoy being difficult when it comes to you."

JFK.

"She!? Point is, Maw Fight Seven and Eight and all da other ones! That Salt!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Seven and eight Mall Fights? That just seems excessive. Two maximum."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I sigh.
"Fine, Salt. What job are you applying for?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Point is, Salt is my subordinate, regardless of ambiguous gender status between da timelines!"

SALT.

"A...performing job. Of the exotic variety."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Oh, you want to be a belly dancer? Cool."
I hold out my hands.
"Guns, please."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"For once, I agree with Tox. Why is Salt the presidentially elected chosen one?"

 

[Saltarius]

I dump the guns in Trilby's hands.

"Please, only use one shot per gun."

JFK.

"Salt was meant ta sabotage the shitty Maw Fight for a more commercial version!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Drive da thread into the ground, dipshit! Make it lame so it had ta be rebooted!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Is that why he tried to date my sister?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Fine."
I head back to the others.

 

[Saltarius]

"I dunno, Salt neva felt that he or she was loved or some shit. Sucks to be him, I er uh, guess."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Yeah, Diamond."

"I'd have more sympathy for her if I liked her."

 

[Knife-28]

While Knife wait's for Conner to finish his call, I walk off, kill myself and respawn near Trilby. "So, what I miss?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

9999999999999999 "Oh there we go" says Connor as the elevator goes down to the Respawn Matrix very very slowly.

 

[Saltarius]

"Ta make it more commercially viable and popular! Don't you fuckin' 90's kids listen?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I'm going to kill JFK with Salt's America-guns and Salt's going to be a belly dancer."

 

[Saltarius]

"That's what da NSA is fowa! I possessed Obama and passed it to spy on Americans and learn what dey wanted in a 'inta-net' RP thread!"