Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)
- Thread starter RaNDM G
- Start date
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"Okay, while you try to remember the fucking password, let's head back to the Mall."
I toss Salt and Knife into the back of the MallMobile, then get in and drive off.
I toss Salt and Knife into the back of the MallMobile, then get in and drive off.
"Oh. Never mind, I thought you said the password but I misheard."
I go back to contemplating.
I go back to contemplating.
I swerve and nearly kill an alien squirrel or something.
"Oh, hey. It's this guy. Want the long version or the short version?"
"Oh, hey. It's this guy. Want the long version or the short version?"
"I'll take that as 'the long version'."
I clear my throat.
"Okay, so after Salt was a massive dick on Gashog, she decided to not be a dick on this planet called Anhur. But a couple of people decided to punish her for killing their brother, so they poured acid on her eyes. So, she's mostly blind now. Also, she's a girl now. Anyway, on Anhur, we sat around doing nothing while Knife did his quest.
Then we ended up on Invictus, for Zombie's quest, which was mostly just insulting scene kids. But, after that, we got roped into a stupid-ass police procedural in order to get a new Mall. Also, we got RaN, but we lost Xot, because he doesn't exist.
After that, we went to Bekenstein to meet Sister. She got us to steal some door for her bosses. We did that, but Paddy and the door got teleported to the planet we're on now. But we had to do months of stuff before we could land here. Paddy's still doing his quest, so the Paddies that are with us are just tulpas.
We're currently heading to the Mall to kill some prostitutes, so we can buy the soul of Zombie's baby dragon from Bureaucrat Satan back."
I clear my throat.
"Okay, so after Salt was a massive dick on Gashog, she decided to not be a dick on this planet called Anhur. But a couple of people decided to punish her for killing their brother, so they poured acid on her eyes. So, she's mostly blind now. Also, she's a girl now. Anyway, on Anhur, we sat around doing nothing while Knife did his quest.
Then we ended up on Invictus, for Zombie's quest, which was mostly just insulting scene kids. But, after that, we got roped into a stupid-ass police procedural in order to get a new Mall. Also, we got RaN, but we lost Xot, because he doesn't exist.
After that, we went to Bekenstein to meet Sister. She got us to steal some door for her bosses. We did that, but Paddy and the door got teleported to the planet we're on now. But we had to do months of stuff before we could land here. Paddy's still doing his quest, so the Paddies that are with us are just tulpas.
We're currently heading to the Mall to kill some prostitutes, so we can buy the soul of Zombie's baby dragon from Bureaucrat Satan back."
"Weapons? Well, I've got a couple of handguns, my electrified knives, a bunch of fencing sabres, a claymore and a wand I can't use because magic is locked. Plus my Gravity Gauntlets and robotic arms."
"What, like one of those things made out of PVC and valves? Nah. Zeph did, but that was back when real guns were locked. I was blacked out for most of that."
I spot the ship in the distance.
I spot the ship in the distance.