Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"I don't think they have a dress able to hold all that fat. I mean beauty. Yeahhhh, that's it."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"I see. Jealousy. I mean, really. None of the characters in Homestuck are fat." Soon, we find her a dress, I put on a suit, and we're standing at the altar.

 

[Saltarius]

"Yeah, so we're gathered here today to see two hearts joining or some shit. I'm just gonna skip a whole lot of this shit to make it go faster. Do you Vriska Serket take Mini to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Yeah sure."

"And do you, Miniman Zombie, take Vriska Serket to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Sure. Sounds good. I mean, I do. Or something."

 

[Saltarius]

"I now pronounce you man and troll or some shit. Now get off the altar. It's me and Aradia's turn. Plan your honeymoon or something."

 

[Knife-28]

In the interest of time, we will skip forward a little bit in the story, ok? Ok.*
[sub][sub][sub][sub][sub]*Also because this is the only part I ever remember about weddings, and I can't be assed to look up the proper stuff.[/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub]

"I now pronounce you man and Troll-Robot-Frog-Wife," Efink says, "You may now kiss the bride."

 

[Saltarius]

"It's like kissing a penny."

I'm 0ffended

"A very uh...beautiful penny."

Better

"Are we done? Shall we commence?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Sure." Me and Vriska walk off. I beckon her to the boiler room.
"So, considering this is all kind of weird and shit, and the fact that Salt tried to kill me, and Aradia beat the shit out of you, want to sabotage their wedding?"
"Sounds gr8t to me."
"Sweet." I walk and put on my costume. Then I put on the special glasses.
"Now, I want you to try and control Salt."
"Gr8t. I needed some practice."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sollux runs into the hall.
"Aradia! Wait! I 2till love you!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Oh christ, the hand's acting up again."

My robotic left hand begins to strike me across the face.

"Fucking evil hands. GEE, I WONDER WHO'S BEHIND THIS. Good thing I swiped me somma this when you were sleeping Zombie."

I pull out a jar that merely read M--- Honey.

I grab Sollux turn him to Zombie and shove the honey in his mouth.

"OPTIC BLAST *****!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

[Did you not fucking understand what just happened?]
Salt can not aim the blast at Zombie, because he is nowhere to be seen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sollux's hand tries to reach up, and a beam is release, shredding a part of the mall. A dress shop with no one it. Tough luck. Sollux turns around and pushes Salt away using his telekinesis.
"Get off me a22hole! Aradia! Come home with me!"

 

[Saltarius]

"You know what that song said Captor! If you liked it...then you should have called dibs."

I roundhouse him and run over protectively to Aradiabot.

 

[MinimanZombie]

Sollux dodges.
"Plea2e Aradia! I never meant to hurt you!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Dude, Sol. You're like my favorite troll, but if you get in the way of our new life, I'll have to end you."

Guys. S0mething's wr0ng.

"Not now."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Aradia! Why are you agreeing to marry thi2 a22hole you ju2t met! We've known each other for year2! I've alway2 loved you, and alway2 will!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, Vriska makes Salt grab Aradia bot forcefully. A little bit too hard.

 

[Saltarius]

Dammit Salt now isnt the time. S0llux, I'm s0rry but it can't happen

"I swear, I have no idea what the hell is going on."

 

[Knife-28]

Efink sighs, and checks something on his right wrist. "Welp, 5 seconds after the wedding and a fight's already breaking out, good work guys, you nearly beat my record." He says, before taking a seat next to Alcor. "So, what's your deal?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"No...Aradia...plea2e...I'm 2o 2orry..." Sollux drops his bag, containing what would have been Aradia's favorite flowers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vriska forces Salt to tighten his grip, and then push Aradia towards the stairs, nearly making her fall down them.

 

[Saltarius]

"I doubt you were around, yet these fools killed a being known as T.O.M while traveling in the sub-basements. We are of the same race. I am here to exact my revenge."

 

[Saltarius]

This shit keeps happening

"Sol. Listen. It's not me. Godammit man, I'm not doing this. Why the fuck are you reaching for the hon-No. Sol, you do not under any circumstances, eat the mind honey."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"I'm not getting that. I'm getting...thi2." Sollux pulls the flowers out the bag, and hands them to Aradia.
"Here. Your favorite. 2orry for wa2ting your time." Sollux stands there, dejected. This isn't going to plan. Why hasn't she accepted him?