Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Anti-American Eagle]

I pull a lighter out of my pocket a second before the crush and try to light it as it hits me.

 

[Saltarius]

"Your honor. There has been a mistake. You see, in my culture, raising the middle finger merely means goodbye. This was merely a cultural misunderstanding."

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

OOC: not sure if troll or stupid

 

[RaNDM G]

The book is lit on fire.

The judge refutes your argument. A cultural offense is filed from the viewpoint of the victim who filed the case. Even if you were telling the truth, which he seriously doubts, your cultural background would not be taken into consideration.

The party is now trapped under a very heavy book. That is on fire. Nice going, [color=gold][b]DUMBASS[/b][/color].

A challenger approaches, wielding his turkey bacon sandwich of truth. The judge's hunger is roused.

 

[Zepherus14]

@Ryans: What Salt said is a very legit argument, but playing ignorant isn't usually a valid enough argument to get out of a jam like this.

Zeph noticed that the Judge is roused by his half eaten sandwich. "Oh you want one? Tell you what, I'll give you..." He says as he reaches into his pocket pulling out another still in the paper wrappings light and the him of glorious music descended as it was revealed.

"THIS Sandwich! If you let these guys go free of charge. If not I'll just eat it myself, I'm only offering."

 

[RaNDM G]

The judge's hunger is insatiable.

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I try to to push the book off of me

 

[Zepherus14]

Zeph shrugged. "So I guess you don't want this sandwich then? Shame really..." He sys as he started to unrap the second uneaten sandwich.

 

[RaNDM G]

Your efforts are in vain. The page pile doesn't stop from getting taller.

The judge leans over his desk and bites Zepherus from the waist up, turkey bacon club and all.

Delicious, the judge exclaims, though a bit dry.

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I start pressing X to not die

 

[Zepherus14]

"Hey! That nearly cost me an arm and a leg!! You better enjoy all the extra pineapples I added onto the one I was offering!" Zeph shouted from inside the Judge, at which point several pineapple grenades exploded inside the judge's stomach.

 

[RaNDM G]

The explosion upsets the judge's stomach. He lets out a very loud, fire spewing burp.

You respawn mere feet away from your corpse. You watch as your legs twitch and bleed on the floor.

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I try and set off a grenade on my belt

 

[RaNDM G]

YOUR ARMS ARE STUCK!

You do not know how much weight you can stand before your body is crushed. Perhaps if the three of you pushed together, you may at least breathe for a moment.

Your defense attorney facepalms in a disappointed manner.

Your new ally is transfixed by his own legs.

The judge prepares his final sentence.

 

[Saltarius]

"Listen, you unruly tyrannical ************, I run the universe. Get this book off me, or I swear by my own name I will end you and wipe your fucking existence from the goddamn Akashic Records. Do I make myself clear?"

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I push as hard as possible while hoping other people push so I don't fucking die

 

[Zepherus14]

OoC: RaNDM G: So how big is this Judge by the way, and what is he?

I respawn and look at my legs squirming. "Well that's just not right."

"So could I sue you for bodily harm? Or is that just a waste of time?" Zeph shrugs, giving the other Mall fighters a hand with the 'Law'.

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

OOC: if it's not a waste of time, then im going to kill everyone

 

[Saltarius]

"[small]Psst, new guy. There is a sword in a holster on my left hip. Try and grab it. It's powered by democracy man.[/small]"

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

OOC: salt push...