Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Knife-28]

Knife passes Salt a bottle. "Healing Vodka, the greatest drink invented by man."

 

[Saltarius]

"Hoo-fucking-ray. I don't suppose Sister has told you her 'big' secret or whatever the hell it is."

I take a sip of the bottle.

 

[RaNDM G]

"What secret?"

 

[Saltarius]

"I dunno, she started acting all cagey when I started asking her shit. She was about to tell until that ************-"

I point in a random diection.

"hit me in the back of the head with a club. And then she wouldn't tell me."

 

[Knife-28]

"Maybe the secret pertains to Gamzee and he didn't want Sister to tell you." Knife says semi-seriously.

 

[Saltarius]

"You seriously want me to believe that Sister and Gamzee share any kind of connection?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Ask me that again when you remember how batshit insane this universe can be."

 

[Knife-28]

"Well, they are both psychopathic murderers who are friends with the same people they killed..." Knife stops as the gears turn in his head, "Holy fuck they'd be perfect for eachother."

Spoiler: Capatcha

Saber Tooth....
What?

 

[Saltarius]

"Ahem."

 

[Knife-28]

"No offence Salt but...holy fuck this idea makes too much sense!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Yeah...perfect for each other..."

"I...I've gotta go find her."

I run off, relying on only my reflexes and instincts to protect me from obstacles in my way.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Knife, do you realise how silly Gamzee and Sis- Oh my God I see it now. Wow. That's... wow."

 

[Saltarius]

"THAT MOTHERFUCKING JUGGALO!"

 

[Knife-28]

"Look Salt calm down, maybe their copulation will be so violent that Gamzee will be killed, leaving you open to play the rebound angle."
In the ensuring silence, Knife pulls out a small leather-bound notebook and writes what he just said on a page marked 'Things I never thought I'd say...ever'.

 

[Saltarius]

"That was surprisingly accurate."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"..."
I kick Knife in the crotch.
"NEVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN!"
I go looking for brain bleach.

 

[Saltarius]

"AND THAT IS WHAT YOU MOTHERFUCKING GET WHEN YOU SCREW WITH SALTARIUS MOTHERFUCKING CRANE! Wait..."

I place my hands on the person's face.

It's a mannequin.

"MAKARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

 

[Knife-28]

"Lucky for me I had my balls reinforced with armor plating."

"Actually I'm just fucking with you, that hurt like a *****." Knife says, before going to lay down.

 

[Saltarius]

"GAAAAMMMMMZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

I run up and punch Knife in the face.

"You think you can just up and fucking taker her based on your bullshit soberiety murder blackrom bullshit? I WON'T HAVE IT!"

 

[Knife-28]

"Dude, calm your tits, for all we know Gamzee and Sister don't even have a relationship."