Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"Alright, can we skip the passive-aggressive bullshit and just be friends again? And also, fuck poker. Never liked this game anyways."

 

[RaNDM G]

"Well, what else do you want to play?

 

[Saltarius]

"I dunno, chess? Fuck it, what do you want to play?"

 

[Knife-28]

-RetGone-

 

[Sigma Castell]

I open a door in a nearby tree and start rummaging through the mssive amount of games in there.
"Well, we've got...Chess, 4D Chess, 5D Chess, Ludo, Backgammon, Monopoly, The [i/]New Moon[/i] Boardgame, The [i/]Homestuck[/i] Boardgame, Cludo, Cludo with real weapons, several pinball machines, and pass the bomb."

 

[Paddy the Second]

A loud screaming comes from all angles, a black dot appears in the sky, plummeting towards the fighters. As it comes closer they can see (except Salt) that it is a large black coffin, perfectly cuboid. It slams into the ground in front of them.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well. Okay." I try to open the coffin.

 

[Paddy the Second]

The top launches off into the sky, the side and back panels fall away. The front opens slowly on its hinges before falling over too. I'm inside. Upside down. "Well. That could have gone better." I use my hands to flip myself upright. "But it could also have gone much worse. Hello everyone, did you miss me?" I spin to take everything in. "You'll have to explain to me what the fuck's going on." I'm wearing my gas mask, there is a third lens above the old two, and a third arm protrudes from my open shirt in front of my heart.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Knife is doing his main quest, we're on a mountain, for some unfathomable reason."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Not more goddamn mountains! You would not believe how many fucking mountains I had to deal with on Tormance." I pull off my gas mask, there's a third eye on my forehead corresponding to the new gas mask lens. I use my third arm to stroke my new beard.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"So uh, what about you? And can I ask about the third eye and arm?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Like I said, I died, did a bit of travelling on Tormance. The new organs are necessary to perceive the environment there. They're also rather fun."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well. Sounds fu-OH SNAP!" The lid from earlier, slams back down, and slices through Paddy's arm.
"Huh. That was...pretty shocking."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Oh. I was getting rather fond of that. Never mind." The stump quickly heals over and becomes normal flesh again. I button up my shirt. "Tormance, fun place. Being dead, not fun at all."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"I guess it wasn't."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Yeah, which is why I'm glad to be back." I kneel down and give the ground a little kiss.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"That's the pissing spot."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Welp." I shoot myself in the head and stroll back out of the coffin's door. "Why do we even need to piss here?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Cause, there aren't toilets nearby. And humans need to remove waste."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"But we never eat. And we don't even need to anyway."