Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[MinimanZombie]

"What happens if we die here then? Cause Hell is now on high alert." I gut a couple of judges, and fire a couple of bullets into some guards.

 

[Saltarius]

I go directly for the problem slashing at Minos. Then I realize how goddamn stupid this is considering that snake tail he had going on.

"You know this is like, automatic circle of Pride and Wrath material right?"

"Does it look like I care?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I fire a bullet into Minos's skull from behind. "Well. This is going well." He then turns around to face me.
"Don't do that." (Minos)
"Sorry."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Fuck guys, chill. Minos, where's the list of new arrivals?"

"It's here." He slams down a huge scroll.

"Weeell."

 

[Saltarius]

"Alright, bolt it. We're only going to find Xot in a circle relative to him. If I recall, the next circle is the circle of lust. If we ignore the free succubi hookers, we'll be fine. Just in case..."

I strap blindfolds over Paddy and Zombie.

"Not going to explain why I don't need one now."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I rip the blindfold off. "I think I can resist a bunch of tortured hookers."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You would not believe how incredibly specific my kinks are." I take off the blindfold.

 

[Saltarius]

"Right."

What occurs next is such a terrible onslaught of desperate sirens trying to make us hear their call, the content of which cannot be posted on the Escapist or any other decent forum site.

We make our way to the next Circle, Gluttony.

"This is gonna be fuckin' easy."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I already ate everything guys let's move."

 

[Saltarius]

"I think I need to crack open the window to let all the diabeetus out."

Whatever the hell threats there are in Gluttony sure as hell cannot catch us, on account of their obesity and shit.

Next Circle, Greed.

"Oh...shit."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Oh looks, there is the other Cerberus." I realize we aren't in the G-Van anymore. "Oh shit." I'm all out of giant dog toys.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"We're in the mall. We have everything we could ever want. What's up next?"

 

[Saltarius]

"I dunno man that golds...pretty fuckin sweet."

I snap out of it and slam on the gas to get us the fuck out of there and into Anger.

"Now we should start looking for him."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Anger." I pick up the pace, knowing Cerberus is moving towards us. "This will be fun"

 

[Saltarius]

"NOPE. NO XOT. NOPE."

I'm swearing under my breath as this goddamn three-headed dog keeps giving chase.

"Try not to get hurled out of the van by what I'm about to do."

I make a U-turn and head back to Greed and lure Cerberus to a pool of molten gold.

"Goodbye, Van. We hardly knew ya. Now then...JUMP!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I try to leap out the van, but Cerberus snatches the van and me up. "Come on! Good doggie!" I climb out the van and onto the back of the beast. I then grab the middle heads set of ears. "Come on. You're going to help us." Cerberus obeys. "Good boy. Jump up guys. I got us a ride."

 

[Saltarius]

"I was going to make him into a giant ass golden statue, but this works even better. Can't wait until I can mount cybernetics on this *****. Unless it's a guy."

We ride off back to Anger and easily make our way to Heresy.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Don't mention Mohammed, I retconned him from my copy of Inferno."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Heresy eh?" I look at all the flaming tombs. "I don't think he's in here. He may be in Violence though."

 

[Saltarius]

"Guys, we might want to start look-wait...the only circles left are Violence, Fruad and Treachery. Where the hell is Xot? He's like all three!"