Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Paddy the Second]

I stride into the furniture store, up to Zombie. "My name is Paddy the Second. You killed my Braid save. Prepare to die." I ram my thumbs into his eyes, crushing his skull ala Roy Batty from Blade Runner.

Salt feebly attempts to break Peake, before settling on my pathetic body.

 

[MinimanZombie]

Paddy narrowly misses my eyes. "Tough luck chuck!" I kick his knee, breaking it instantly. I then throw him over a balcony, towards Salt.

 

[Saltarius]

After succeeding with the destruction of Paddy, I assemble a robotic steed from a 25 cent carousel and ride. Ride off.

 

[Paddy the Second]

I hover back to level with Zombie. "Nice try asshole." I blast a two foot diameter hole in his chest. I throw Peake down to Salt's head. It sings through the helmet and splits his skull in half.

 

[MinimanZombie]

[OOC: Blast it? With what!?]
I dodge the blast which seemed to come from nowhere, and lunge at Paddy, stabbing one of my Poisoned Katanas into his neck.

 

[Saltarius]

"Man...can't a bro ride?"

I resuit and fly after Paddy before cutting off his arms and cutting his tongue out, yet not killing him.

"Good luck with that, Dr. Strange."

 

[Paddy the Second]

[OOC: Blast it? With what!?]

((Muthafucking magic.))

Using Grim's knife boots ((Remember these fuckers?!)) I kick Zombie in the balls, headbutting him and biting his nose off before succumbing to poison and blood loss.

 

[MinimanZombie]

The bite leaves some indents in my nose. The pain of the ball kicking kicks in [Heh.] and I double over. Luckily the knifes didn't come out, but still. It hurts. I take a pain killer, and wander out the store. I then go and hide in my old boiler room. "Oh, how I've missed you." I sit on my old cardboard box, and wait for someone.

 

[Saltarius]

I head down to the boiler room, the sheer bulk of the suit leaving a significant shape as I go down the stairs.

"Sup man."

I sit down on the box next to Zombie and draw summa dat sweet boiler power. I then turn to him and break his legs. And his right arm just to be a dick.

 

[Paddy the Second]

I burst through the door of the boiler room and cut Zombie into tiny chunks, which I throw into Sigma's blender. I then stomp over to Salt, slap him in the face, and sink into the floor, disappearing into the deep recesses of the mall.

 

[Saltarius]

"Dude, you just don't do that."

I proceed to Optic Blast the motherfucking floor, keeping my balance with the help of the boosters. I go down the deep-ass hole in search of Strange. I turn on the motion trakcer just in case, as well as my subterranean light...thingy.

 

[MinimanZombie]

After re-spawning, with all my gear as usual, I find Paddy, being his usual self. Infuriated that both he and Salt invaded my boiler room, I grab him, and slice of his arms and legs with a RR. I then, cut out his tongue and leave him dangling from a chain, leaving him a foot from the floor. I command RR to not leech all of his life. Just a bit, to give me some energy. It reluctantly agrees. "You know, with all the magic you've been doing, you're going to experiencing some crystallization soon. Have fun." I walk away, and throw Peake into a boiler, watching it melt.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Honestly Salt. Do you really think I'd do that while retaining a physical form?" A cloud of black material pulls out of the wall behind Salt and forms into me, I extend my hand into Salt, grabbing his heart. "Oops." Salt drops dead.

 

[Saltarius]

"Man guys, we got some serious problems."

I find my robotic horse and ride off, because fuck this.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Thith wath a retarded idea guyth." I sputter from the chains Zombie put me in. "Thomebody kill me tho I can fix my thhit."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Sorry? I can't hear you over the sound of your crystallization. Oh look, it's stopped just below your neck. Your vitals are in order though. This will be fun."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Athhole." I mutter a few words and explode in a burst of energy, disintegrating Zombie. I step back into the boiler room and retrieve Peake from the boiler, unharmed. "Fools."

 

[Saltarius]

I return to the boiler room, still riding the horse. Just gonna call it Elorshrit.

I merely stand there on top of Elorshrit as I gaze at the process taking place. I then produce a brand new copy of Braid and piss on it in front of Paddy. I then activate El's laser eyes and disintegrate Paddy.

 

[Paddy the Second]

I stab Elorshrit in the face, killing it instantly. I then stab Salt. Who liquefies.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"FUCKING EXPLOSIONS!" I grab a box of grenades from an unspecified location and chuck them in the boiler. "Here are some explosions, assholes!" The explosion sends me back several hundreds of metres. I land in a liquor store. "Lets go then." I grab every bottle I can find, stick rags in the tops, light them and throw them, in any area not covered in fire.
[OOC: How the fuck does he liquefy?]