Mall Fight!

[Pm0n3y]

as i see a rope fly towards my neck, i duck and avoid it, confused as to where it came from.

 

[COR 2000]

*walks in*

Hey guys, what's going-

*whip!*

Ow! Hey, alright, who did that?! Oh, they're so going to pay!

Let's see, do they have a Gander mountain... Gander mountain, [sup]Gander mountain[/sup], [sup]Gander mountain[/sup].....

Ah, here!

*Loads up*

There we go! Now to find the one responsible...

 

[Azraellod]

I release my final Remote controlled lion: the Mk.5

This lion has had it's jaws modified to react like a clamp, and it is able to balance on it's hind legs. I send it out with the trolley held within it's jaws, and have it move over towards the stuffed toy section.

 

[Nukey]

i walk into the stuffed toy section after my failed attack. i see a robotic loin and attempt to beat it to death with a teddy bear.

 

[Azraellod]

I see someone attacking my lion. It's jaw clamps down on their arm and breaks it.

 

[Earthbound Engineer]

I run into a supermarket and grab a banana. Then I run into a kitchen supplies store and grab an ice pick and a bowl. I make a banana split.

 

[Nukey]

"ah! dear god!"
i shout as the lion breaks my arm
"two can play that game!"
i bite into the lion's neck, having no effect because it is metal.
"crap....."

 

[Azraellod]

Now that's dealt with, I immediately forget him and get my lion to start loading the trolley with stuffed alligators. When it is half full, I move it with the trolley towards the tools section.

 

[Earthbound Engineer]

I feed someone the banana split as a distraction while I shove the icepick into their cerebral cortex. Good luck fighting now!

 

[dalek sec]

Quickly stealing several Nerf guns, extra ammo for them, food from the food court and thumb tacks I steal the main elevator in the lobby of the mall. Stopping it halfway I break the all glass front and begin to fire at people with thumb tack altered nerf darts.

 

[Nukey]

i die because of bleed out, i re spawn outside a hardware store. i run into the store and emerge out wearing a suit of power armor made of wood with buzz saw hands.

"GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!" i shout as run out waving my buzzsaws around.

 

[Jedamethis]

I wander into the food section and start eating

whilst stockpiling cutlery of course

 

[Sam G]

"Woopah!" I yell, leaping out of a refrigerator whilst twirling my makeshift nunchucks above my head. I smack Jed around the head with them a few times, then sprint off like a crazy person.

 

[Nukey]

i see sam running around like a crazy person, i chase him in my wooden power armor with buzz saw arms.

 

[Jedamethis]

I briefly rub my head and continue eating, pausing to throw some knifes at the crazy nunchuk-wielder

 

[Malevolent Stranger]

I leave the food court, go to the candy store, get some gummi bears, go to J.C. Penny's, get a trenchcoat and a fedora, I then go to a sports store, get a bow and 20 arrows, take the tips off the arrows, replace them with nails, and set them on fire. That being done, I then take the bow and break it in half. Now with all that out of the way, I go into a security room, find a Night Stick, a whittling knife, and a kevlar vest. I cut the night stick to a point. I then go off and make a Fallout 3 Dart Gun, using kitchen chemicals instead of Radscorpion posion, I run out, find a garbage can, and throw it donkeykong style at the nearest foo'.

 

[Sam G]

I catch the knives out of the air and counter Excitednuke's buzz saw attack by jamming them in the saw's blades.
I then trip him over and run off to hide in a music shop.

 

[Malevolent Stranger]

I watch him run, follow him sneakily, find a cello, and begin playing Faraway, by Apocalyptica.

 

[Jedamethis]

I burp loudly, step out of the way of a malevolent stranger's (see what I did there?) garbage can, and saunter over to the clothes section to find me a trenchcoat and hat.

 

[Malevolent Stranger]

I leave the music store, and hit the fire alarm, triggering the sprinklers. I then run like all hell is loose to the top floor. Once there, I find a small room with no sprinklers, hide in it, and close the door, waiting for everyone to drown.

I see what you did there. Also, how dare you take mah trenchcoat!