Mall Fight!

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Pm0n3y

Pm0n3y

An emaciated shadow
Jul 29, 2009
6,344
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Trying my best to not get noticed, i sneak around the crowd, hiding behind benches and pillars, until my reach my goal.

"The Elevator! I made it!"

I rush to the gamestop and find the Lancer, still in one piece. I walk out the store and rev it's built-in chainsaw.

"Ok motherfuckers, come n' get me." I say under my breath.
 
Ren3004

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
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I respawn in the supermarket, get a new hair spray can and start looking for someone. I finally notice SirBryghtside in the ice cream aisle, and set him on fire, saying


"This is the bright side of life!"

I then turn to Jedamethis, and try to do the same to him. However, once again I am punished for my bad pun, and accidentally turn the hair spray on myself.


"MY EYES! MY EYES!"
 
XIII's Number XIV

XIII's Number XIV

Not in here, you idiot!
Sep 14, 2009
1,735
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I respawn back in the elevator, hardly knowing how I got killed again.

I realize that I had respawned without any weapons, and, seeing my cocktail cannon still by the fountain, I quickly dive in the water to retrieve it.

Dodging my way through mermen, I retrieve it and head back up to the surface, only to almost be beheaded by Pm0n3y's chainsaw. Diving back in, I made my way to the other side of the mall, towards the "Golf n' Staplers" store.
 
Sam G

Sam G

New member
Jul 14, 2009
2,580
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"It's been revoked!" I yell, leaping from the top of a staircase and assaulting Azraellod with my two golf clubs, engaging him in a Star Wars-style sword fight, with much spinning and leaping from things onto things.
 
Ren3004

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
0
0
I crawl out of the store, realizing my vision is slowly returning, and manage to find my way to the hardware store, to put in practice another idea from that book.

I grab a length of rope, a hook, and a small gas canister, using them to make an improvised grappling gun.

I see XIII running in the floor above me, and try to impale him with the gun.

Unfortunately, the hook just flies a few feet and drops to the floor. That's what I get for using comics as a source of inspiration...
 
Ren3004

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
0
0
Having to improvise, I grab the rope and start swinging it around, impaling enemies with the hook. It seems to be working pretty well, until I end up impaling myself in the stomach.
 
XIII's Number XIV

XIII's Number XIV

Not in here, you idiot!
Sep 14, 2009
1,735
0
0
"Henh heh heh...oh, this is excitin'" I comment as I'm drying my gun, watching the action across the mall.

I then hear a commotion above me, and realize that two people were fighting star-wars style towards me!

I jump out of the way, and, since they didn't seem to notice that, jump back a few more feet and aim at the two would-be Jedi.

"Bye bye! Eh hee hee hee hee...!"
 
Azraellod

Azraellod

New member
Dec 23, 2008
4,375
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I dodge out of the way of sam g, trying to put enough distance to get one of my sickles to get a proper spin on it. I keep dodging until I get my back to the wall, at which point sam takes a swing at me with a club at head height. I duck, and the club embeds it's-self in the wall.

As sam tries to pull it out, I slip away, and get a proper swing in on my sickle. I start to use the electromagnet, but as it reaches sam, he pulls the club out of the wall and blocks it. I prepare for another strike at him, throwing a second sickle at him and attacking him with it from above this time.
 
Pm0n3y

Pm0n3y

An emaciated shadow
Jul 29, 2009
6,344
0
0
While Ren pulls out the hook in his stomach, i run up to him and pistol whip him with the Lancer, stunning him even further. I rev the chainsaw's engines.

"Uh oh, you know what that sound means!" I say, before slicing him in half with the Gears of War gun.

I then throw a smoke bomb down unto the first floor, and jump over the second floor's ledge into the smoke and the crowd.
 
Ren3004

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
0
0
Ouch, that hurt...

Anyway, I drag my body to the pharmacy to try and to something about my injuries

---30 minutes later---


YES! With only a length of thread, a needle, a bottle of painkillers and one and a half years of medical school, I manage to stitch my self together.

Now this is personal...

I grab some medkits from the back room and head towards the smoke.
 
XIII's Number XIV

XIII's Number XIV

Not in here, you idiot!
Sep 14, 2009
1,735
0
0
Smoke? There? What's going on?!

I stop aiming at the two and run after Ren, then realizing that "Why could I be running after him, when I could just destroy him?" and fire a cocktail at him.

The cocktail detonates, and all that's left is a dirt crater on the floor.

I cackle as I run by, towards the smoke.
 
Nukey

Nukey

Elite Member
Apr 24, 2009
4,125
0
41
i respawn outside a wine store, i enter and get drunk of my ass i exit the store covered in rags, latex, and drenched in alcohol. i then light myself on fire and charge at XIII's Number XIV and prepare to tackle him.
 
Ren3004

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
0
0
Ah, I saw that coming. Using my ninja skills, I jump out of the way of the cocktail at the last moment and grab the railing of the floor above me. When XIII passes below me, I throw scalpels I had obtained from the pharmacy at him, pinning him to the floor.
 
XIII's Number XIV

XIII's Number XIV

Not in here, you idiot!
Sep 14, 2009
1,735
0
0
I laughed as Excitednuke tackles Ren instead, then proceeded to try and break free of the scalpels. Luckily, I still had my cannon with me, so I used that to knock most of the scalpels off, then freed myself. I quickly aimed and fired at the two.
 
Ren3004

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
0
0
Excitednuke tackles me into the fountain, thus putting out the flames. I use one of the medkits to heal my burn wounds.

OK, this seems pretty standard... a couple of syringes, some bandages... Oh, what is this weird feeling? My wounds are healed, but the medkit disappears from my hands.
 
Ren3004

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
0
0
I find a canister of liquid nitrogen and use it to freeze all the water in the mall. Malevolent gets stuck in the ice. His arms are frozen in place, so that he can only aim the shotgun directly ahead of him.
 
Nukey

Nukey

Elite Member
Apr 24, 2009
4,125
0
41
i see my flames have went out and Ren is fully healed, i lunge my head forward and take a bite out of Rens neck, i pull my head back holding a chunk of Rens neck in my mouth and my face covered in blood, i promptly run away screaming realizing what i have done was crazy.
 
Ren3004

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
0
0
Damn... I use another medkit to heal my neck, pick up a fire extinguisher from the floor and walk up behind Malevolent.
 
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