Maybe not the right place to ask but..

[Bat Vader]

I see. Well, I choose to be alone and I choose to not socialize so as long as there is no law that says I have to be social or help someone out then I am alright.

Legally, yes. Morally? Not so much.

I go by my own morals. Why do you care so much how I live my life? How exactly does it affect you if I talk to someone at work or if I stay silent. Exactly how does it affect you or anyone else if I don't get a girlfriend?

It affects me because it affects society. Our infrastructure, our first world standard of living, rests on the backs of our actions. And when you are willfully inefficient, it brings ALL of us down. Society is for the common good, and when you act in your own self interest, it is leeching off the rest of us. That is why I care. That is why YOU should care.

Tell me. What exactly do you contribute to society besides chastising me for not caring about people except my family.

 

[Keela]

Okay, my plan would be to get plenty of rest tonight somehow, take sleeping meds if you have to. You will need to be rested so that you can think of amazingly perfect responses to everything. Tell your friend tomorrow that you really like this girl and would appreciate it if he would STFU and GTFO, but in a nicer way. If he laughs or says something to try to offend you, tell him you'll owe him a favor later on. Even if he says no, he is PROBABLY concerned in some way. Whether this does or doesn't work, go to a pay phone (or any other phone that's available). Talk to her, comfort her, then gently imply your feelings. Wait a while, probably a day or so, then talk to her again, and imply, but do not immediately say, your feelings toward her. Also, I wouldn't "flirt" as it may make you seem too straight-forward. Then, wait a bit longer, then ask her if she wants to go see a movie or get dinner, or whatever you feel comfortable with. After that, I can only hope for you.

This is my suggested plan, I am not saying that you should or have to follow it, it just seems like a good idea to me. I'll be praying for you, make sure to let me (or all of us) know how it goes. I just want you to know I won't be happy if you chicken out. Be brave, that first call is always the hardest. You can do this, man.

 

[PureBredGentleman]

Okay, my plan would be to get plenty of rest tonight somehow, take sleeping meds if you have to. You will need to be rested so that you can think of amazingly perfect responses to everything. Tell your friend tomorrow that you really like this girl and would appreciate it if he would STFU and GTFO, but in a nicer way. If he laughs or says something to try to offend you, tell him you'll owe him a favor later on. Even if he says no, he is PROBABLY concerned in some way. Whether this does or doesn't work, go to a pay phone (or any other phone that's available). Talk to her, comfort her, then gently imply your feelings. Wait a while, probably a day or so, then talk to her again, and imply, but do not immediately say, your feelings toward her. Also, I wouldn't "flirt" as it may make you seem too straight-forward. Then, wait a bit longer, then ask her if she wants to go see a movie or get dinner, or whatever you feel comfortable with. After that, I can only hope for you.

This is my suggested plan, I am not saying that you should or have to follow it, it just seems like a good idea to me. I'll be praying for you, make sure to let me (or all of us) know how it goes. I just want you to know I won't be happy if you chicken out. Be brave, that first call is always the hardest. You can do this, man.

Yea, I was thinking about that. To inform you guys how it's turning out. Well, I'll say this. I called her up today, to discover she was still saddened by the breakup, I sort of implied that we should "hang out" some time and go see a movie she has been wanting to see. The way the conversation went, she sees me as a "Good caring friend".

I also spoke to my friend today, and discovered that she is already seeing another guy. I pose the question: I was going to wait a while for things to calm down for her a bit before slowly building up my relationship, is it too early for her to be seeing another guy?

I hope it's not another douche bag. Her last boyfriend cheated on her constantly, going as far as to sign another girl's boobs right in front of her on the last day of school.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

Ooh mate, I know the feeling all too well. Did you take an interest in her before he did?

 

[asinann]

snip

Many of the studies were paid for out of pocket by researchers. No monetary bias to speak of.

Show me some of these "studies" then, until I see them, I'm more inclined to go off of personal experience.

I see. Well, I choose to be alone and I choose to not socialize so as long as there is no law that says I have to be social or help someone out then I am alright.

Legally, yes. Morally? Not so much.

I go by my own morals. Why do you care so much how I live my life? How exactly does it affect you if I talk to someone at work or if I stay silent. Exactly how does it affect you or anyone else if I don't get a girlfriend?

It affects me because it affects society. Our infrastructure, our first world standard of living, rests on the backs of our actions. And when you are willfully inefficient, it brings ALL of us down. Society is for the common good, and when you act in your own self interest, it is leeching off the rest of us. That is why I care. That is why YOU should care.

So a person's decision to not date, not have children and not care about people beyond the ones that they know somehow effects YOU and society as a whole in a direct way.
I'd think that one person deciding not to date would be a good thing, they pay more in taxes, they don't use as much in resources and they don't bring more children into an already overcrowded world. I think you might just be a self-important egotist that believes everything somehow HAS to pertain to YOU.

Bit of advice, get over yourself and your "studies." 99% of all statistics are made up anyway.
And all studies are biased one way or another, whether by the people funding it or by the researcher's personal biases. There are no 100% pure studies and there won't be until humanity no longer needs them to prove their points.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Alalge, is your avatar VagEYEna Man?

 

[Mewick_Alex]

Of course, this all depends on if she WANTS a boyfriend at the moment. Assuming she does, and assuming she doesn't have anyone in particular in mind, then being the first one there for her is key.

When I first met my girlfriend I was smitten for a good long while, but never made a move. Another guy who was also after her stepped in and they started going out, but luckily for me he was a complete dick to her so she dumped him around a year later. A few months after that I finally got round to asking her out and we've been together for almost 4 years now.

The funny thing is she sain that she was after me all along, but didn't think I was interested because i never said anything.

Also:

she recently broke up with a previous boyfriend. And guess who is there to comfort her? Not me that's for damn sure.

Be very careful here, if they broke up quite recently then she may not be over him. You don't want to be a rebound. Just be there for her but dont be too forward. Give her time.

EDIT: Only just noticed this is around half a year after the original post. Did you get the girl in the end? I like happy endings.

 

[AkJay]

You'll end up in the friend zone.
All's fair in love and war. You kick his ass with your love gun.


Or something.

Yes, with your "love gun"... or something...

 

[Bat Vader]

I see. Well, I choose to be alone and I choose to not socialize so as long as there is no law that says I have to be social or help someone out then I am alright.

Legally, yes. Morally? Not so much.

I go by my own morals. Why do you care so much how I live my life? How exactly does it affect you if I talk to someone at work or if I stay silent. Exactly how does it affect you or anyone else if I don't get a girlfriend?

It affects me because it affects society. Our infrastructure, our first world standard of living, rests on the backs of our actions. And when you are willfully inefficient, it brings ALL of us down. Society is for the common good, and when you act in your own self interest, it is leeching off the rest of us. That is why I care. That is why YOU should care.

Tell me. What exactly do you contribute to society besides chastising me for not caring about people except my family.

Let me think. Five peer reviewed papers, three patents, an entire lab of scientists doing experiments on psychology is essentially managed by me (as most of the others are too busy to do so; my data analysis is more important, but more computer oriented, so I have some free time). All of this unraveling many mysteries of the brain and behavior. Our research directly led to the development of a newer generation anti-depressant, which may result in a new front line attack on intractable depression.

Yeah, I'd say I've personally contributed a lot to society, by working on a team. Thanks.

If you have done so much why do you chastise me for not liking people? How can I believe you have done this stuff? You have no proof besides it coming from your own mouth.

If you are this busy why do you play videogames and hang out on a gaming forum? I choose not to be social. I get my dose of teamwork at work.

 

[Biek]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

oh gosh, ive been in that situation. All I can say is that in the event your friend gets the girl, get over your jealousy. You really cant blame him for it, right?

 

[Pimppeter2]

Just go for it, if you lose man up and admit he won

 

[brainfreeze215]

go with whichever is more important, your friendship or this theoretical relationship. If you pick the friendship then you will have to grin and bear it every time you are with them, if you pick the girl then you may lose a friend but hopefully repair burnt bridges in the future once he's cooled off.

 

[PureBredGentleman]

Of course, this all depends on if she WANTS a boyfriend at the moment. Assuming she does, and assuming she doesn't have anyone in particular in mind, then being the first one there for her is key.

When I first met my girlfriend I was smitten for a good long while, but never made a move. Another guy who was also after her stepped in and they started going out, but luckily for me he was a complete dick to her so she dumped him around a year later. A few months after that I finally got round to asking her out and we've been together for almost 4 years now.

The funny thing is she sain that she was after me all along, but didn't think I was interested because i never said anything.

Also:

she recently broke up with a previous boyfriend. And guess who is there to comfort her? Not me that's for damn sure.

Be very careful here, if they broke up quite recently then she may not be over him. You don't want to be a rebound. Just be there for her but dont be too forward. Give her time.

EDIT: Only just noticed this is around half a year after the original post. Did you get the girl in the end? I like happy endings.

She has a rebound right now actually. And yesterday was the Original Post, so you didn't miss much. If the rebound gets dumped in the next few weeks, maybe I will make my move. But should I really do that? My friend and I decided that we both lost since she met her rebound, and just plain said it. Bros before Hos. We decided we will just be friends with her and no more. Would it be cruel to ask her out or at least talk to her abut the situation first?

 

[PureBredGentleman]

Alalge, is your avatar VagEYEna Man?

Actually he is my logo for my movies and website. Check im out here. www.freewebs.com/algeanimations

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

Shoot him. Ho's before Bro's as Reality always says.

 

[Tri Force95]

I think losing a friend is worse than gaining a girlfriend. Then again if he does make a move on her you will know he was not a true friend. This is why I don't trust anybody except myself.[/quote]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Ummm... no. Being "Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational." is never a good thing.

To the OP: If that's you I say let it go. The odds are he or neither of you will get the girl and you might also loose a friend. If you're not a pussy, go for it.

I think losing a friend is worse than gaining a girlfriend. Then again if he does make a move on her you will know he was not a true friend. This is why I don't trust anybody except myself.

I disagree. I have had experience where I had liked one of my friends, but, not until I got to know her, and became on of her true friends. Also, your assuming hes only her friend because he likes her, which isnt always the case.

 

[Bat Vader]

I think losing a friend is worse than gaining a girlfriend. Then again if he does make a move on her you will know he was not a true friend. This is why I don't trust anybody except myself.

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Ummm... no. Being "Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational." is never a good thing.

To the OP: If that's you I say let it go. The odds are he or neither of you will get the girl and you might also loose a friend. If you're not a pussy, go for it.

I think losing a friend is worse than gaining a girlfriend. Then again if he does make a move on her you will know he was not a true friend. This is why I don't trust anybody except myself.

I disagree. I have had experience where I had liked one of my friends, but, not until I got to know her, and became on of her true friends. Also, your assuming hes only her friend because he likes her, which isnt always the case.[/quote] I don't know. This is a decision we cannot help with. You have to make this decision on your own.