Maybe not the right place to ask but..

[-Orgasmatron-]

What are you? 12?

15 buddy. So for me that cancels out any "get drunk" response.

LOL I don't know if you're just saying that, or if it's actually because you've noticed that in every advice thread my reply is something along the lines of "get drunk", either way, that post made me smile and so I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. Good luck my man.

 

[shadowstriker86]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

....really? ok, as probably stated by most people already, just do it. Trust me, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over, BELIEVE ME! Ive been with 14 chicks in my 23 years on this planet (serious relationships not just 1 night stands) and let me tell you, even if you dont get with this one chick, forget about her and move on, but always remember to utilize your nuts and make the attempt to at least ask her out.

You: 14 chicks.

Me: 1 chick.

I've had my heart bashed into a nice confetti too many times to let this slip. Imagine we are fishermen, fishing in a river of fish. You have already caught 14 fish today, I have caught zero. Of course it would be easier for YOU to rest easy and call it a night because at least you have the comfort that you have caught some fish and that youa re capable of catching more. I got a snag, and I'm not going out without a fight.

heart bashed into confetti, no you havent. maybe its felt like that but believe me, unless you caught your current gf cheating on you with 2 guys at once (looked like a chicken on a rotisserie) you dont know whats its like to have your heart shattered, but aside from that as i stated before, even if you fail the attempt, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over

 

[Snugglebunny]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

Don't sacrifice a friendship for some girl!! I'd say stay on good terms with both of them, make her feel comfortable and friendly around you, but keep your distance from them while their together, keep the worlds seperate, you know?

Chances are they'll break up within the year, thats when you make the innocent 'wanna-talk-about-it-as-friends?' move, and go on from there. Whatever works, right? We girls love a guy who you can confide in.

If they do hang onto each other, then I guess its just meant to be. If thats the case, then there's probably some big busted blonde gamer girl just waiting for you around the corner.

Good luck!!!

 

[PureBredGentleman]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

....really? ok, as probably stated by most people already, just do it. Trust me, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over, BELIEVE ME! Ive been with 14 chicks in my 23 years on this planet (serious relationships not just 1 night stands) and let me tell you, even if you dont get with this one chick, forget about her and move on, but always remember to utilize your nuts and make the attempt to at least ask her out.

You: 14 chicks.

Me: 1 chick.

I've had my heart bashed into a nice confetti too many times to let this slip. Imagine we are fishermen, fishing in a river of fish. You have already caught 14 fish today, I have caught zero. Of course it would be easier for YOU to rest easy and call it a night because at least you have the comfort that you have caught some fish and that youa re capable of catching more. I got a snag, and I'm not going out without a fight.

heart bashed into confetti, no you havent. maybe its felt like that but believe me, unless you caught your current gf cheating on you with 2 guys at once (looked like a chicken on a rotisserie) you dont know whats its like to have your heart shattered, but aside from that as i stated before, even if you fail the attempt, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Trust me, it may have been heart braking to see the rotisserie chicken cheating, But you can't honestly say you know how it feels to be unloved for such a long period of time. At least you can remember the happy moments from you relationship.

I have no memories since I have never had a girlfriend. Everyday, walking through the hallways, seeing happy couples embracing one another, wishing I could have someone with me as well. Watching movies, where the main character always gets the girl, wishing the same would happen for me.

15 years and no one to embrace me and say, even if just for a day, "i love you".

This, as you can see, is the reason I refuse to give up. My heart is torn just walking around and casually glancing in their direction. So to imagine that a best friend coming in to steal the fire is just a bit frustrating.

 

[shadowstriker86]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

....really? ok, as probably stated by most people already, just do it. Trust me, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over, BELIEVE ME! Ive been with 14 chicks in my 23 years on this planet (serious relationships not just 1 night stands) and let me tell you, even if you dont get with this one chick, forget about her and move on, but always remember to utilize your nuts and make the attempt to at least ask her out.

You: 14 chicks.

Me: 1 chick.

I've had my heart bashed into a nice confetti too many times to let this slip. Imagine we are fishermen, fishing in a river of fish. You have already caught 14 fish today, I have caught zero. Of course it would be easier for YOU to rest easy and call it a night because at least you have the comfort that you have caught some fish and that youa re capable of catching more. I got a snag, and I'm not going out without a fight.

heart bashed into confetti, no you havent. maybe its felt like that but believe me, unless you caught your current gf cheating on you with 2 guys at once (looked like a chicken on a rotisserie) you dont know whats its like to have your heart shattered, but aside from that as i stated before, even if you fail the attempt, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Trust me, it may have been heart braking to see the rotisserie chicken cheating, But you can't honestly say you know how it feels to be unloved for such a long period of time. At least you can remember the happy moments from you relationship.

I have no memories since I have never had a girlfriend. Everyday, walking through the hallways, seeing happy couples embracing one another, wishing I could have someone with me as well. Watching movies, where the main character always gets the girl, wishing the same would happen for me.

15 years and no one to embrace me and say, even if just for a day, "i love you".

This, as you can see, is the reason I refuse to give up. My heart is torn just walking around and casually glancing in their direction. So to imagine that a best friend coming in to steal the fire is just a bit frustrating.

true i dont know what it truly feels like to be "unloved" by your definition meaning single and lonely, but i do remember being 15 and thought as a psycho and people constantly saying that i was gonna blow up the school with a cherry bomb and a sheep (i kid you not people are really that stupid in california) but you're way too young to worry about being in a relationship and not only that, you're gonna need an angle. you either have looks, athleticism, money, or charm. most of the time looks always works but what helped me since i lacked in that department was charm. well that and i was blunt, basically i would ask a chick if she'd like to go have dinner sometime and if she shot me down i moved on. didnt matter whether i had a crush on her or not that didnt even enter the equation. sure it was hard at times but something worth going after is rarely easy. bottom line is, tell her how you feel about her, if nothing else she'll at least be your friend and seek your advice because if you spend the rest of your life wondering what couldve been rather than making your own life, you'll have no life at all

 

[Pubert Mcgee]

I had thsi problem with my best mate and a girl.... me and the girl did it and then it turned out she never really liked either of us.... oh well. My mates always want to ask out my ex girlfriends though is that a bad thing?

 

[xxnightlawxx]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

feel your pain dude goin through that same exact situation im talkin to her right now though sooo

 

[asinann]

And next time you see the girl you should confess that the two of you like her and let her know that it's her choice and you're not gonna be immature and fight about it.

And let her play with both their emotions like a harpy? No. You'll just give her ammunition to play you off against each other.Who knows what she'll have you doing...*shudder*

That is so stereotypical. Most women I know in that situation wouldn't do that. You cannot justify that statement as an average case, only as a worst case.

Odd, almost every woman I know would. They wouldn't ADMIT they would do it, but they would.
It makes them feel all warm and fuzzy knowing they have 2 guys on a string.

A local case does not prove a global one.

Except when you're in the military and the women come from all over the place. Then you encounter the same situation everywhere you live (working on 5 states and 17 cities.)

I can see the bias very VERY clearly in that. How do you say....MILITARY?
Seems like a huge bias to me. More than that, a local case NEVER proves a global one.

How many countries have you been in? Our studies are global.
What is the general distribution of the women? Does it approach a Gaussian distribution?
etc etc ad nausea. Your experiences are very biased, while the studies eliminate bias.

You mean the stupids paid for by anti-female defamation groups? That's like saying there is no bias in an oil study paid for by the oil industry.

 

[Ashbax]

You'll end up in the friend zone.
All's fair in love and war. You kick his ass with your love gun.


Or something.

um, the 'love gun' in kiss' song, was actually a metaphor for the singers dick, so if he kicked his friends ass with his love gun...hed basically be buttfucking his mate.


Also, id say you should do this awesome romantic actiony scene where you sprint like 10 miles to her house while fighting emperor zurg. Or something.

 

[Bat Vader]

Unlike MCcain, Bush, and Cheney he know when to exit a fight. I am shy and a loner so I have no real use for people except when I need something. Who ever said one night stands were involved. I plan to die a virgin. As I said relationships are for other people. They are not for me.

That is fine, I mean if you know what you want in life and are going to go for it then more power to you.

You won't really know what you are missing unless you give people a shot through. You are in forums responding to people, so I would think that at least at some level you crave human interaction.

I would give you some advice, that you should not write off everyone. I mean it is still your choice but it seems you have picked a very lonely and non fulfilling path. I just think you need to really take a long look at the reasons for that. Did you pick the path or did it pick you?

I picked it but it also picked. Most of my friends were never truly my friend and so I chouse to cut my losses and not trust anybody instead of taking a chance.

That is a losing proposition in a game with win conditions. Tit for tat is almost universally recognized as the optimal choice in this scenario.

Basically put, you are doomed to fail because you believe you are doomed to fail. Self fulfilling prophecy. Stop dragging our society down with your sub-optimal tactics.

How exactly am I dragging society down by being a loner? I am not causing society to fail in anyway by not talking to people.

Do you not know what sub-optimality is?
Quick lesson: Imagine a curve. Hell, don't imagine one, let me draw one.

Credits to google.

Now, see the top bit? The highest part? That is the maxima. In most economic, political, psychological, etc curves, a maxima represents an optimal point, that is to say, a point where it is impossible to do better. Every factory outputting at 110 percent, for example.

Loners tend to act sub-optimally to a degree that is unpreventable. It is simply infeasible to do your best when you are alone; almost any non-trivial task can be broken down, parallelepiped, or structured in such a way that two people can do the work faster than one. In fact, the job of most efficiency experts is to break big jobs down into the biggest bits that a single person can do better than two people.

So, by refusing to cooperate, you are acting sub-optimally, as you COULD be more productive, and more efficient, by cooperating, instead of defecting. Tit-for-tat is very powerful in social situations. And by refusing to cooperate, and yet taking advantage of the benefits of society (such as a standing army, the infrastructure we all depend on, etc) you are acting as a social leech, bringing us all down a little bit so that you can not be bothered by social interaction and such.

See now?

I work as a dishwasher at an apartment complex so I have to work in a team there. After I get out though I go home and either get on the internet, watch TV. read a book, or play my videogames.

So I do work in a team I am just very silent. I do not speak unless spoken to or unless I need something.

I dislike people anyway. I am very misanthropic. How is me reading a book at my house hurting society? I have no real advice to give someone.

I can't join the military because of my disability and I like being a loner. I would rather be alone and read a book than have to talk to someone in person.

 

[Bat Vader]

Unlike MCcain, Bush, and Cheney he know when to exit a fight. I am shy and a loner so I have no real use for people except when I need something. Who ever said one night stands were involved. I plan to die a virgin. As I said relationships are for other people. They are not for me.

That is fine, I mean if you know what you want in life and are going to go for it then more power to you.

You won't really know what you are missing unless you give people a shot through. You are in forums responding to people, so I would think that at least at some level you crave human interaction.

I would give you some advice, that you should not write off everyone. I mean it is still your choice but it seems you have picked a very lonely and non fulfilling path. I just think you need to really take a long look at the reasons for that. Did you pick the path or did it pick you?

I picked it but it also picked. Most of my friends were never truly my friend and so I chouse to cut my losses and not trust anybody instead of taking a chance.

That is a losing proposition in a game with win conditions. Tit for tat is almost universally recognized as the optimal choice in this scenario.

Basically put, you are doomed to fail because you believe you are doomed to fail. Self fulfilling prophecy. Stop dragging our society down with your sub-optimal tactics.

How exactly am I dragging society down by being a loner? I am not causing society to fail in anyway by not talking to people.

Do you not know what sub-optimality is?
Quick lesson: Imagine a curve. Hell, don't imagine one, let me draw one.

Credits to google.

Now, see the top bit? The highest part? That is the maxima. In most economic, political, psychological, etc curves, a maxima represents an optimal point, that is to say, a point where it is impossible to do better. Every factory outputting at 110 percent, for example.

Loners tend to act sub-optimally to a degree that is unpreventable. It is simply infeasible to do your best when you are alone; almost any non-trivial task can be broken down, parallelepiped, or structured in such a way that two people can do the work faster than one. In fact, the job of most efficiency experts is to break big jobs down into the biggest bits that a single person can do better than two people.

So, by refusing to cooperate, you are acting sub-optimally, as you COULD be more productive, and more efficient, by cooperating, instead of defecting. Tit-for-tat is very powerful in social situations. And by refusing to cooperate, and yet taking advantage of the benefits of society (such as a standing army, the infrastructure we all depend on, etc) you are acting as a social leech, bringing us all down a little bit so that you can not be bothered by social interaction and such.

See now?

I work as a dishwasher at an apartment complex so I have to work in a team there. After I get out though I go home and either get on the internet, watch TV. read a book, or play my videogames.

So I do work in a team I am just very silent. I do not speak unless spoken to or unless I need something.

I dislike people anyway. I am very misanthropic. How is me reading a book at my house hurting society? I have no real advice to give someone.

I can't join the military because of my disability and I like being a loner. I would rather be alone and read a book than have to talk to someone in person.

Again, suboptimality, etc etc. Kinda went over this. You could do more by integrating then you could ever do by what you do now.

I see. Well, I choose to be alone and I choose to not socialize so as long as there is no law that says I have to be social or help someone out then I am alright.

 

[PureBredGentleman]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

....really? ok, as probably stated by most people already, just do it. Trust me, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over, BELIEVE ME! Ive been with 14 chicks in my 23 years on this planet (serious relationships not just 1 night stands) and let me tell you, even if you dont get with this one chick, forget about her and move on, but always remember to utilize your nuts and make the attempt to at least ask her out.

You: 14 chicks.

Me: 1 chick.

I've had my heart bashed into a nice confetti too many times to let this slip. Imagine we are fishermen, fishing in a river of fish. You have already caught 14 fish today, I have caught zero. Of course it would be easier for YOU to rest easy and call it a night because at least you have the comfort that you have caught some fish and that youa re capable of catching more. I got a snag, and I'm not going out without a fight.

heart bashed into confetti, no you havent. maybe its felt like that but believe me, unless you caught your current gf cheating on you with 2 guys at once (looked like a chicken on a rotisserie) you dont know whats its like to have your heart shattered, but aside from that as i stated before, even if you fail the attempt, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Trust me, it may have been heart braking to see the rotisserie chicken cheating, But you can't honestly say you know how it feels to be unloved for such a long period of time. At least you can remember the happy moments from you relationship.

I have no memories since I have never had a girlfriend. Everyday, walking through the hallways, seeing happy couples embracing one another, wishing I could have someone with me as well. Watching movies, where the main character always gets the girl, wishing the same would happen for me.

15 years and no one to embrace me and say, even if just for a day, "i love you".

This, as you can see, is the reason I refuse to give up. My heart is torn just walking around and casually glancing in their direction. So to imagine that a best friend coming in to steal the fire is just a bit frustrating.

true i dont know what it truly feels like to be "unloved" by your definition meaning single and lonely, but i do remember being 15 and thought as a psycho and people constantly saying that i was gonna blow up the school with a cherry bomb and a sheep (i kid you not people are really that stupid in california) but you're way too young to worry about being in a relationship and not only that, you're gonna need an angle. you either have looks, athleticism, money, or charm. most of the time looks always works but what helped me since i lacked in that department was charm. well that and i was blunt, basically i would ask a chick if she'd like to go have dinner sometime and if she shot me down i moved on. didnt matter whether i had a crush on her or not that didnt even enter the equation. sure it was hard at times but something worth going after is rarely easy. bottom line is, tell her how you feel about her, if nothing else she'll at least be your friend and seek your advice because if you spend the rest of your life wondering what couldve been rather than making your own life, you'll have no life at all

I suppose mine would be humor, But there are certain people who can just go up and ask a girl out straight on, and there are those who like to build the relationship up over time to ensure that I have a better chance at going out with her. Let's just say that I'm more of the cautious type.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Why actually care about someone? Just as much fun can be had breaking their will to live.

Lets say your friend was worse then you. And you knew would be better, lets say he cheats or something. Whatever. Anyways, you show mild interest in her but you let you friend get her all hyped up. Then, whenever they break up and you two meet up.. Smile. It always falls apart. Why get hurt in the collapse? Why not set up a lawn chair and watch it fall to pieces?

Or you could abuse her sense of trust in you, and when the two of them break up you can make your move then. You could say you were always waiting for her... Not wanting to to bully her or push her into a relationship.

(That is if she gets all emotional after the break up)

Hehe...

 

[Bat Vader]

I see. Well, I choose to be alone and I choose to not socialize so as long as there is no law that says I have to be social or help someone out then I am alright.

Legally, yes. Morally? Not so much.

I go by my own morals. Why do you care so much how I live my life? How exactly does it affect you if I talk to someone at work or if I stay silent. Exactly how does it affect you or anyone else if I don't get a girlfriend?

 

[Trivun]

What sorta jam? Strawberry? Ba dum tish.

I believe 'broes before hoes' is that awful saying men have. Decide which is more important - your friendship or this girl.

Hey, just for the record, I'd personally never follow that stupid rule. That said, I can be pretty damn selfish when I want to be, trouble is I rarely follow up on that and end up doing everything for everyone else with no time for me I need to be more assertive sometimes...

Anyway, OP. I'm probably not the best guy to give advice on this situation, being eternally single and all, but since I'm a romantic at heart and I want to try and help, here's what I'd do. If there's a chance your friend will get there first, then just make a point of seeing her first chance you get, even if you have to walk through the pouring rain to get there, and tell her how you feel. She'll welcome your honesty and hopefully this will persuade her to be honest herself as to whether or not she feels the same way. If she doesn't then you'll have lost nothing, since she would have said the same thing anyway. If she does, then you win. If your friend gets there first then tell her anyway, because the best thing you can do is be honest. It may turn out she prefers you anyway or just doesn't see your friend that way. But you need to let her know, because if you don't and your friend gets there first, then you'll spend the rest of your life, or at least a good while afterwards, thinking "what if?". And believe me, that is not a good thing. I've felt like that so much recently and it is not a good feeling, trust me on this.