Me vs. my Dad

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Mechsoap

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Apr 4, 2010
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If he was an proper dad he would love you, and support you no matter what believes of the universes creation you want to take as the most likely.
 

Snotnarok

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Nov 17, 2008
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I'd just go with what he says but continue being athiest who really cares what he sees you as. Whatever makes him happy, when you move out then you can drop that on him if he really needs to know why you haven't been to church.
 

Terrik

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Mar 21, 2009
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Jewrean said:
2) Explain to him that you aren't an Atheist but that you are Agnostic instead.

This simply means that you have an open mind about things. Someone who is Agnostic acknowledges that there could be a God but because there is no evidence does not draw a conclusion either way. After-all, for all you know a God COULD actually exist. There is no proof either way to say God(/s) simply doesn't exist. This is better than saying you are a flat-out Atheist because it's like telling your Father you aren't going for the same team in Football anymore. Agnostic is more like telling him you love the game still but you don't really take sides.

I'd go with this. I'm Agnostic and have yet to meet a christian that responded badly to that, have met some douchebag Atheists though.
 

SimpleReally

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Feb 4, 2008
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Find some holes in his beliefs or contradictions in the bible, like using blood as a disinfectant or that chapter about Nebuchadnezzar ruling his land in the years after his death
 

BonsaiK

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Nov 14, 2007
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TRR said:
K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.
I'd be interested to know why you had a shouting match, and how that escalated.

You're 19, that's old enough to make up your own mind about things. Mind you, why is it his business what you believe anyway? As long as he's not trying to drag you along to church I'd say that it doesn't matter and it's none of his business anyway so why should you even tell him unless he asks? I don't tell anyone my religious beliefs, family, friends, girlfriend - no-one. What's inside your head is your territory and yours alone. Mind you, if you want to tell him, or if he keeps dragging you into conversations that assume a Christian outlook, it'd be courteous to let him know what's up. Just have a contingency plan ready if he kicks you out of the house or otherwise makes your life unbearable.

And don't get into a theological argument. If you want him to accept you for who you are, you also have to accept him for who he is.
 

Creator002

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Aug 30, 2010
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Grilled Cheesus said:
Tell him and then tell him you wont pick holes in his beliefs as long as he does not force his shit on you.
Basically this, though not so final. ^

If your dad won't accept your beliefs, it's not very Christian then, is it? He'll probably try and re-convert you, so be ready if you don't want to go back. Agnosticism is probably best anyway. Not knowing, not caring.
 

silver wolf009

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Jan 23, 2010
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Tell him that you respect his religion of choice, but that you do not take its teaching as truth and wish to decide for yourself.

If he cannot accept the fact that you are different than he wants you to be, then he is not doing his job as a parent, which is to prepare you to make your own decisions and live your own life.

Oh and before its asked, I am a christian but I am against blind zealotry and analyze the scriptures before living my life by them.
 

TheNarrator

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Feb 12, 2010
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silver wolf009 said:
Oh and before its asked, I am a christian but I am against blind zealotry and analyze the scriptures before living my life by them.
And I wish there were more of you, especially the analyzing scriptures part. I'm an atheïst myself (not the aggressive type), but often enough I have the idea I understand Christianity and what it stands for better than a good deal of Christians. I rarely get irritated at religious people, but I feel a disproportional hatred whenever I see a self-proclaimed 'good Christian' conservative type bring on the 'an eye for an eye' argument. That's the most pure case of 'not getting the point'.
 

beniki

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May 28, 2009
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Don't bring it up.

Seriously, no point in mentioning it if it's just going to make trouble. And if he drags you out to church on Sunday, well still go. You'll be grateful for the extra knowledge later on in life. If he wants to say grace before dinner, bow your head and just be damned grateful you got a plate of food.

I mean, I don't really like romantic comedies, but I'l still watch them with my Mum, and I never had to sit down and talk to her about it. I know you could argue that religion is a more serious matter, but if you're an atheist now I don't see how much it would affect your life.

Don't make a fuss about it, and don't show it off. Just.. get on with life.
 

Paddin

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Sep 30, 2009
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I don't like how the majority of these responses are just trying to gear you up to attack or belittle his religion. How about some respect for peoples beliefs people?

If you really feel the need to tell him, just tell him and if he tries to argue with you don't get sucked in to it. You've told him what you believe, there is no point arguing unless you are actually trying to convert him or something. Be respectful of what he believes, hopefully he will be respectful of what you believe.

Beniki pretty sums up my opinion on telling people of atheism.

beniki said:
Don't bring it up.

Seriously, no point in mentioning it if it's just going to make trouble. And if he drags you out to church on Sunday, well still go. You'll be grateful for the extra knowledge later on in life. If he wants to say grace before dinner, bow your head and just be damned grateful you got a plate of food.

I mean, I don't really like romantic comedies, but I'l still watch them with my Mum, and I never had to sit down and talk to her about it. I know you could argue that religion is a more serious matter, but if you're an atheist now I don't see how much it would affect your life.

Don't make a fuss about it, and don't show it off. Just.. get on with life.
Personally I don't see much point in telling my parents I'm an agnostic atheist. It's not so much my parents that are the problem than my grandma.

I don't believe in religion but I still attend Christmas mass with my Grandma. Why? Because it means a lot to her and it's not going to kill me anyway. In fact, I think it's a peaceful and pleasant way to spend only an hour of one day. Does it really matter that your dad should know what you believe, or is this your way of sticking it to him that you are escaping from his strict rule?

EDIT: When I tell my friends I'm an atheist the response I always get was "ok, but please don't force your beliefs on me" and it always annoyed me. However, reading this thread made me realise exactly why I get this response. Because there is atheists, like the majority of the people in this thread, who feel the need to point out all the flaws in everyone's beliefs and feel so superior about it. You people give atheism a bad name.
 

Best of the 3

10001110101
Oct 9, 2010
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Sacman said:
Super Toast said:
Sacman said:
Tell him and ignore anything he has to say in response...<.<
Why do you type ...<.< at the end of everything?

OT: Tell him your an atheist, just don't be a dick about it.
the ellipses because I'm a spacey talker... like Captain Kirk... and the <.< because... actually I don't know... I just started doing it a few weeks ago and it's become a habit...<.<
It's because you are always watching us... >.>

OT: Maybe if you can try to pass as believeing in it for you dad. If that is not possible try to confront him about it. If he can't except you, just ignore him. Maybe live with your mother if possible. I can't be much help here but I try.
 

AlexWinter

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Jun 24, 2009
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TRR said:
K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.
I don't know if someone has already said this, but if your dad is very Christian, try looking at it from his point of view.

Non-believers go to hell or something right? Maybe he's just scared that you'll pick the wrong side and end up burning in Hell for eternity.
I'm a Buddhist so I don't know if that's technically right but your dad probably believes in Christianity with all of his faith and seeing his son go down the 'wrong' path into damnation probably upsets him a lot.

Just saying, like, maybe consider that it's not that you think he's wrong that's making him angry, it might be that he's scared you're wrong.
 

TRR

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Jul 21, 2008
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********************

Thank you everyone most of you for the responses thus far, they are definitely helping me here.

Several of you have been asking about the shouting match thing. This happened earlier this year. Well it all started when I asked if I could sleep over at my girlfriend's (now ex.) house. My Dad did not like this idea. He then proceeded to unload his opinion, which was heavily christian based. Then somewhere in this argument it was revealed that I was no longer a virgin. Needless to say, he was not very happy. After a while of this I left the house for a few hours. In the end, I went along with his decision.

Juxtaposition: my Mom assumed I was sexually active.

Others have been asking if I was atheist or agnostic, I would say I'm atheist.

BTW, I love my Dad.


keep an eye out for my posts as they will contain important info, i highlight them with ****
 

theironbat46

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Aug 19, 2009
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Tell him you are an Atheist and that you respect his beliefs and would appreciate if he respected yours. Then have pie.