MetroidNutQuest 2012

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Display arms/inventory.

You proudly display your ARMS, and in the process your INVENTORY! You are wielding a MASTERWORK SWORD. It is stained with the BLOOD of many CHILDREN. Or so you would like to believe.

You also possess one ROCK (your TROPHY from a GLORIOUS VICTORY over the NATIVES) and what appears to be a WATER-KIDNEY. You're not really sure how literal its name is.

 

[CJ1145]

>KT: Kidney Punch

 

[VuvuZelaMan]

>MN: Feel disgraced by how poorly you've done, and try to die with some dignity.
>KT: Look around for nearest LANDMARK.

 

[Robert632]

MN>Take off and store HAT and GLASSES in PANTS POCKET so you look like a shot CIVILIAN instead of the shot METROIDNUT you are.

 

[Pappytech]

>MN: Fall asleep. Wake up somewhere else.

 

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Look around for nearest LANDMARK.

The nearest LANDMARK is a small BRITISH FLAG.

 

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Use WATER KIDNEY to scan for nearby ISLAMIC CENTERS OF PEACE to ransack.

You use your WATER KIDNEY'S standard-issue RADAR ARRAY to search for ISLAMIC CENTERS OF PEACE. It informs you that the nearest one is several thousand miles away, in the IBERIAN PENINSULA. Looks like it's being burned down by some SPANIARDS, though. That'll show 'em!

 

[Robert632]

MN>Die so KT can become the new main character.

KT> Walk north for 300 metres.

 

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Ransack British flag to fill RANSACK METER so you do not implode.

You RANSACK the BRITISH FLAG.

...

You're getting lonely.

 

[MetroidNut]

KT: >Walk north for 300 metres.

You do so in an effort to take your mind off the all-consuming loneliness of your current situation; a final, desperate attempt to preserve your sanity after weeks of solitude and bleak, desolate landscapes, whether endless blue or endless green or endless gray.

You find a SHOVEL.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

>KT: Dig a hole to China, claim land/make friends there

 

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Dig a hole to China, claim land/make friends there.

You attempt to CLAW your way to CHINA. Unfortunately, your DIG skill is currently at 0, and you quickly become CONFUSED!

 

[Robert632]

MN>Remember your old gym teacher yelling at you to get up whenever you fell down, then get the hell up and do something to get away from the police

 

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Wait. Where the hell are you, anyway?

You aren't entirely sure. You journeyed into the GREAT OCEAN several weeks ago, on the order of the POPE! Unfortunately, he forgot to provide you with a COMPASS. Alright, so, you might've ACCIDENTALLY pawned the COMPASS off to pay for your SWORD. And you might have slightly pawned off your BOAT to pay for your ARMOR. Which might have resulted in you very intentionally embarking on a PERILOUS SEA VOYAGE riding an ATYPICALLY NON-STURDY CHUNK OF HOUSE DEBRIS. Also, you might've gotten lost and crossed the entire OCEAN.

The significance of this is lost upon you.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Reveal yourself, having dug a hole with your mouth through the earth to just below where KT is now.

This character is too busy DYING SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY to follow your commands!

 

[Robert632]

>MN: Reveal yourself, having dug a hole with your mouth through the earth to just below where KT is now.

This character is too busy DYING SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY to follow your commands!

So we're done with him then? we're not supposed to give commands to MN? we just leave him in the dirt to die?

 

[MetroidNut]

>MetroidNut: Explain self.

The idea is that something has to be done in KT's side arc in order to progress in the main body of MetroidNutQuest 2012 - it's sort of a trial version of a possible mechanic for later on down the line. Looks like I didn't make any of that clear enough; my apologies, you have to understand I'm making quite a bit up as I go along, and things don't always work out. But, hey, I'm fully open to feedback! If you, the readers, would prefer I dropped KT, I'm most willing to wrap his bit up quickly and return to the main story.

This shall of course be decided...through DEMOCRACY.

Ignore the KNIGHT TEMPLAR in favor of the DARING ADVENTURES of the FAR SUPERIOR and DASHINGLY HANDSOME PROTAGONIST? (Y/N)