MetroidNutQuest 2012

[MetroidNut]

>Dirk's Sister: Beat the KT six ways to Sunday with your copy of the Qur'an.

DIRK'S SISTER would like to point out that she doesn't take orders from you! But even if she did, she sure as hell doesn't see any KNIGHT TEMPLARS running around!

You resume being the KNIGHT TEMPLAR. Honestly, you're starting to grow a bit RESTLESS here; it's been too long since your last PILLAGING! Your URGE TO CLAIM LAND FOR KING AND COUNTRY is rising rapidly!

 

[Pappytech]

>KT: Use your TELEGRAPH INTERCEPTOR to overhear a NOT-MUSLIM boy call the POLICE for help. Decide to go PILLAGE the boy's house, and CLAIM HIS LAND FOR KING AND COUNTRY.

 

[Robert632]

>MNig a hole and hide yourself in it.

 

[CJ1145]

MN: Call out to your childhood idol Billy Joel.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Use your dream telepathy to contact the only true friend you've ever had.

You embrace oblivion, grasping hazily for the arcane power of telepathy. You slowly release the locks on the darkest, innermost portions of your mind. You allow the universe to flow into them, to fill your psyche with indecipherable knowledge, incomprehensible truths, one-word answers for questions far beyond human comprehension.

...

This is stupid. You aren't going to be able to contact FREDDIE MERCURY in this manner!

 

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Use your TELEGRAPH INTERCEPTOR to overhear a NOT-MUSLIM boy call the POLICE for help. Decide to go PILLAGE the boy's house, and CLAIM HIS LAND FOR KING AND COUNTRY.

You're fairly certain TELEGRAPH INTERCEPTORS won't be invented for many centuries! Certainly not until TELEGRAPHS are invented. Perhaps you meant to use your RUNNER INTERCEPTOR?

Either way, you don't see any NOT-MUSLIM boy, aren't sure what country these "POLICE" are from, and can't find any HOUSES worth PILLAGING! Besides, you've got some perfectly good LAND right here to CLAIM FOR KING AND COUNTRY!

 

[MetroidNut]

>MNig a hole and hide yourself in it.

You begin shifting your WEIGHT back and forth in an attempt to gradually dislodge the DIRT beneath you. This sure would be easier if you had ARMS!

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Call out to your childhood idol Billy Joel.

You cannot SUMMON BILLY JOEL without a PIANO!

 

[Pappytech]

>Freddie Mercury: Be attending a high school full of bad-ass delinquents, a robot/motorcycle, and a gorilla. Have awesome theme music.

For the record, this is a real anime. It is one of the trippiest things I have ever had the bizarre pleasure of watching.

 

[Robert632]

>MN:Just lie there then, as apparently the police can't reach you.If they could they would have by now.

 

[CJ1145]

>KT: Establish Fort Boxia in the name of King Elvis.

>MN: Remember Dirk plays piano, sneak back into house to summon Billy Joel

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Just lie there then, as apparently the police can't reach you. If they could they would have by now.

It may feel like it's been DAYS, but that's just the BLOOD LOSS talking! You've only been lying on the ground for about 15 seconds. Why do you think that POOL OF BLOOD hasn't gotten any bigger?

 

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Establish Fort Boxia in the name of King Elvis.

You establish FORT BOXIA in the name of KING ELVIS III, LORD OF ENGLAND. You are 100% certain that was the KING's name.

In honor of FORT BOXIA's official establishment, you make a cute little BRITISH FLAG! Well, okay, it's not actually the BRITISH FLAG. But you think it would make for a TOTALLY BADICAL NEW BRITISH FLAG! Someday, you assure yourself, the world will recognize your genius.

Regrettably, you do not have any BOXES with which to FORTIFY the locale!

 

[MetroidNut]

>Freddie Mercury: Be attending a high school full of bad-ass delinquents, a robot/motorcycle, and a gorilla. Have awesome theme music.


Freddie Mercury is too busy PROTECTING THE UNIVERSE with the power of ROCK 'N' ROLL, LOVE and MANGRIT!

 

[VuvuZelaMan]

>MN: Rub some dirt in that wound and get back up. You feel fine now.
KT: Check to see if FRANCE has any BOXES lying around.

 

[Pappytech]

>Pappytech: Provide video evidence of Freddie Mercury's foray into anime.


>KT: Display arms/inventory.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Rub some dirt in that wound and get back up. You feel fine now.

No can do! You're still bleeding to death. Unfortunately, other than squirm a little and dislodge some dirt, you don't think you're going to be able to do very much for a little while!

Hint, hint.

 

[MetroidNut]

>KT: Check to see if FRANCE has any BOXES lying around.

FRANCE is very far away! You GUESS you could swim there, but you don't think it would be a very good idea. You'd probably be eaten by KRAKENS. They're known to patrol the NORTH ATLANTIC around this time of year.