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MetroidNut

MetroidNut

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Sep 2, 2009
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>MN: Blindly fire until the bullet comes out. The ritual must be fulfilled.

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, cliwait what, click



You fire your REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER.



DOGGIE ARE YOU OK

HEY

OH GOD

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.



DOGGIE?

PLEASE TELL YOU THAT'S JUST KETCHUP.

PLEASE JUST BE KETCHUP PLEASE JUST BE KETCHUP PLEASE JUST BE KETCHUP



HAHA, OK, MAKE-BELIEVE TIME IS OVER!

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

You imagine that the ground beneath you is quaking, as if the entire world is resonating with your sheer, unbridled grief. How could you have been so stupid? How could you have not noticed you were holding a REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER? Now you've killed your DOG oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god. Your eyes begin to cloud up.

The sirens appear to have stopped. The POLICE have arrived, and likely heard the GUNSHOT.
 
Meta_Trooper

Meta_Trooper

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Mar 6, 2010
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>MN: pick up the dog by the tail and start swinging it around above your head screaming madly as you dive out of dirk's house through a closed window, heck, you should be able to plead insane with a stunt like that!
 
MetroidNut

MetroidNut

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Sep 2, 2009
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>MN: Quick, shoot DIRK so the police don't misunderstand!



You're out of REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL BULLETS! And even if you weren't, you're still too busy FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT!
 
MetroidNut

MetroidNut

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Sep 2, 2009
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>MN: pick up the dog by the tail and start swinging it around above your head screaming madly as you dive out of dirk's house through a closed window, heck, you should be able to plead insane with a stunt like that!



Why the fuck would you even think that oh god oh god oh god
 
Pappytech

Pappytech

Invested all my Souls into Res
Jun 7, 2011
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>MN: Realize that the police sirens have stopped, not because of the police's arrival, but because the ritual has transported Dirk's dwelling, and all within it, to a strange and magnificent world full of all kinds of unknown wonders and beauty.

Have an extra long command to make up for my lack-of-internet imposed exile.

Also:

>DP: Use your unnaturally hard skull to recover from your affliction of unconsciousness. Freak out upon observing that you are currently residing on your floor, your neighbors being a recently deceased dog and a gun-toting maniac who broke into your house. React accordingly.
 
Robert632

Robert632

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May 11, 2009
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>MN:plant the gun on DIRK, then make a break for it. no sense being arrested for killing a dog you didn't even know.
 
MetroidNut

MetroidNut

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Sep 2, 2009
969
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>MN: Realize that the police sirens have stopped, not because of the police's arrival, but because the ritual has transported Dirk's dwelling, and all within it, to a strange and magnificent world full of all kinds of unknown wonders and beauty.



You stop FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT as you experience a startling revelation: you have left the mortal world (and the POLICE) behind. The mysterious ritual, gleaned from the darkest corners of the INTERNET, can only have propelled you into a NEW DIMENSION. Clearly, it will soon be revealed to you that the fate of the world if not the very universe lies in your hands! No doubt you are soon to embark on a truly epic ADVENTURE, filled with swashbuckling ACTION, intriguing MYSTERY and tumultuous ROMANCE! You can barely contain your excitement!

You hear the POLICE kick down the DECIDEDLY EARTH-BOUND FRONT DOOR.

>DP: Use your unnaturally hard skull to recover from your affliction of unconsciousness. Freak out upon observing that you are currently residing on your floor, your neighbors being a recently deceased dog and a gun-toting maniac who broke into your house. React accordingly.

You cannot be DIRK PACE, because he isn't a PLAYABLE CHARACTER! He takes your suggestion under consideration regardless, however. He goes ahead and warns his PAST SELF to bug out and hide his many copies of LASCIVIOUS ANIME LADIES before the POLICE find them!

It's not like they're ILLEGAL or anything, of course. Just...creepy.
 
MetroidNut

MetroidNut

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Sep 2, 2009
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>MN: Plant the gun on DIRK, then make a break for it. No sense being arrested for killing a dog you didn't even know.

You think it's a little late to be doing any GUN-PLANTING! As for the DOG, of course you knew it! Though it was fraternizing with the enemy, it was still your UGLY DOG! Just thinking about it makes you want to burst into tears. Manly, manly tears.

But this is no time for tears, this is the time for ESCAPE! The POLICE are hot on your tail, you've committed several REAL AND PERFECTLY ILLEGAL CRIMES, and you're totally defenseless to boot! The only logical recourse is to flee out the BACK DOOR...and into the cold, unfeeling night.



The BACK DOOR is locked.
 
VuvuZelaMan

VuvuZelaMan

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Oct 23, 2010
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>MN: Hit DIRK'S BACK WINDOW with the REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER to break it open, and exit through the BROKEN WINDOW it will become. Watch the glass, and yell out the phrase "I know you're watching!" as you exit.
 
MetroidNut

MetroidNut

New member
Sep 2, 2009
969
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>MN: Hit DIRK'S BACK WINDOW with the REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER to break it open, and exit through the BROKEN WINDOW it will become. Watch the glass, and yell out the phrase "I know you're watching!" as you exit.



You throw your REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER out the window. Huh. Looks like the glass was already broken. Probably a result of DIRK's obsession with SHITTY ANIME SWORDS.

You are no longer ARMED AND DANGEROUS.

You yell out the phrase "I know you're watching!" as you prepare to exit the premises. The POLICE, startled by your absurd claims that they are watching you, begin SCURRYING HASTILY towards the KITCHEN! Looking back for a moment, you see the barrel of a gun glinting in the CRUEL INCANDESCENT BULBS!

Continue escape attempt? (Y/N)
 
VuvuZelaMan

VuvuZelaMan

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Oct 23, 2010
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>MN: Yes. Do hurry now.

>Dirk's Sister: Be sure to make backup copies of the tapes of all of this -- the police might want some evidence.
 
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