Most awkward talk you've had with your parents.
- Thread starter Triforceformer
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Whenever porn is found on the computer at my parent's house, my mom always feels the need to ask me about it. This is strange and awkward for a few different reasons. 1. I live in a different state. 2. She often asks me even though I haven't been home for months. 3. This forces the realization upon me that someone else in my family is looking at porn. I know it's normal and all that jazz, but I still don't want to know about it. 4. I think that she thinks I'm a lesbian.
Edit: This wasn't awkward for me, but it was a funny one that happened to my friend. He had left his phone at his parents house in one of his pants pockets and asked his mom to find it and send it to him. She found it, but in the other pocket was weed. She then told him that she doesn't care that he smokes, but that she was going to throw his weed into the fireplace for her and their dog to share.
Edit: This wasn't awkward for me, but it was a funny one that happened to my friend. He had left his phone at his parents house in one of his pants pockets and asked his mom to find it and send it to him. She found it, but in the other pocket was weed. She then told him that she doesn't care that he smokes, but that she was going to throw his weed into the fireplace for her and their dog to share.
Well, in my case I won't go into specifics, but I'll just say I was "experementing" late one night and something got "stuck", so I had to ask my mom in the middle of the night to scedual a doctors apointment. Thankfully, while it was extremely awkward and I was questioned about if I was gay or not, she wasn't mean about it at all and didn't talk about it to anyone else. Plus, the problem was thankfully "rectified" before we had to go to the doctor, so that kept us from having to experience more awkwardness.
my dad attempting to give the talk, then realising he couldn't do it halfway through and walking into the living room and sitting down to watch TV.
My family's great
My family's great
Coming out as an atheist to my parents was, well, kind of odd. My Dad seems to be totally understanding, but my Mom seems to just plain not believe me. It's some kind of hyper-denial at work. No matter how many times I tell her she still thinks I want to pray and go to church and stuff.
Oddly enough the most awkward convo I've had with my parents hasn't been the sex talk or even me admitting I smoke pot. Nope...found out I was conceived at a Megadeth concert. Fucking awesome in hindsight but goddammit that was uncomfortable.
I just joined this site purely to tell everyone this story. It was that traumatic. I needed to share.
So my mum came up to me all shifty looking, and went "Can I talk to you in private...?" I went "Sure," and she proceeded to tell me that my younger (female) cousin has never had an orgasm. (Bear in mind that the way this information made its way to me was through my cousin telling my aunt, who told my mum, who told me. Way to keep private information private, family.) My mum wanted to make sure that this wasn't the case for me (also female). She knows I have no sex life, so in essence she was asking me if I masturbate, and whether I'm good enough at it to bring myself to orgasm. The conversation culminated with her offering to buy me a vibrator, because "lots of women find them helpful".
Then I ran away and hid for days.
So my mum came up to me all shifty looking, and went "Can I talk to you in private...?" I went "Sure," and she proceeded to tell me that my younger (female) cousin has never had an orgasm. (Bear in mind that the way this information made its way to me was through my cousin telling my aunt, who told my mum, who told me. Way to keep private information private, family.) My mum wanted to make sure that this wasn't the case for me (also female). She knows I have no sex life, so in essence she was asking me if I masturbate, and whether I'm good enough at it to bring myself to orgasm. The conversation culminated with her offering to buy me a vibrator, because "lots of women find them helpful".
Then I ran away and hid for days.
Man all you guys conversations are lame. Porn, sex and masturbation? That's the most awkward talks you've had with you're parents, really?
I've had conversations with mine where the opening sentance was essentially "Son, I want to talk to you about why you're such a pathetic failure".
I've had conversations with mine where the opening sentance was essentially "Son, I want to talk to you about why you're such a pathetic failure".
Alright, so like the post a few steps above me, I just had to register to tell my somewhat epic story... more like stories, but ok.
Right, first off.
I was 15, maybe, and about to have my grand debute in "procreation"... Now, we were lying in bed, having a jolly time when my mother opens the door.
Me : Mom, seriously! Get out, whatever you want I'll do it later.
Girl in bed : Oh, hi Lisa
Mom : (Laughs) Hi Cecilia, is he treating you well?
Girl in bed : We haven't even started
Mom : Oh, ok. I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone. Do you need condoms?
About right there, I decided to leave the whole thing alone, resulting in Cecilia leaving to talk with my mom in the kitchen, who then comes to me complaining about how I treat girls... Gotta love it.
Before this gets boring, second one.
Two years later, I've bought myself my first cellphone. Beeing a somewhat curious person, I decide to call one of those sex lines. I do my thing, and think no more of it.
Two weeks later I get a bill, wich ofcourse leads to my dad asking from whom it is... I try to lie and say it was mailed to the wrong person. He eventually opened the following letter for me and calls me up
Dad : I opened the bill....
Me : Oh...
Dad : First and last?
Me : Uhm, yeah...
Dad : Dinner at four...
He hangs up, and leaves me with the feeling of me disappointing him beyond human measures...
Great fun.
Right, first off.
I was 15, maybe, and about to have my grand debute in "procreation"... Now, we were lying in bed, having a jolly time when my mother opens the door.
Me : Mom, seriously! Get out, whatever you want I'll do it later.
Girl in bed : Oh, hi Lisa
Mom : (Laughs) Hi Cecilia, is he treating you well?
Girl in bed : We haven't even started
Mom : Oh, ok. I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone. Do you need condoms?
About right there, I decided to leave the whole thing alone, resulting in Cecilia leaving to talk with my mom in the kitchen, who then comes to me complaining about how I treat girls... Gotta love it.
Before this gets boring, second one.
Two years later, I've bought myself my first cellphone. Beeing a somewhat curious person, I decide to call one of those sex lines. I do my thing, and think no more of it.
Two weeks later I get a bill, wich ofcourse leads to my dad asking from whom it is... I try to lie and say it was mailed to the wrong person. He eventually opened the following letter for me and calls me up
Dad : I opened the bill....
Me : Oh...
Dad : First and last?
Me : Uhm, yeah...
Dad : Dinner at four...
He hangs up, and leaves me with the feeling of me disappointing him beyond human measures...
Great fun.
My dad tried to explain to me the porn he was watching was merely for educational purposes.
yeah...
yeah...
I was sitting at my dad's house one weekend watching MXC, and he came and sat down by me and said "What do you know about sex?". 
My mom thinks I'm gay because I would rather have a Michael Jackson calendar then one with women in swim suits. And she keeps bugging me to get a girlfriend. -.-AverageJoe said:
My dad thought it'd be good to explain masturbation to me when I was eleven.
He basically just concluded with; Keep tonnes of tissues handy.
He basically just concluded with; Keep tonnes of tissues handy.