Most retarded thing you ever did

[Buleet]

I strangely dont remember stupid things I did.

Proberly my mind tryin to make me feel smart.

 

[Pegghead]

Let's see now, I:

*Once broke my mothers full body mirror when attempting to make it to mirrorland

*Once ran out of church screaming the first time I drank wine for communion (it was so disgusting I haven't had it since, just bread for me thanks)

*Once scattered pigeon feed along my arm when standing in a town square LITERALLY COVERED IN PIGEONS (I bet you can guess what was literally covered with them afterwards)

*Once, one day at the beach, was riding my boogieboard, at one point after a wave had dumped me I realised I was on top of a poor woman (I could see her arms and legs flailing from underneath my board), at another point after being thrown up then down by a wave when the water subsided I had my arm around the neck of a man who was standing upright in the water

*On two occasions exposed the film in my mother's camera (the first time was completely for a long period in broad daylight destroying the Christmas photos, the other was barely for a fraction of a second in a cave only slightly altering the colour of the last photos of our last dog Murphy)

*Entered into a pretty serious billy-cart competition called The Megs with a cart that had shoddy steering and brakes thinking it was just a non-serious event (I ended up totalling the cart halfway down the hill and having to be dragged of by the SES, in the few other races I did the cart buggered up but I was okay)

*On a camping trip I once set my rucksack down on a stinging ant-hill (you would not believe the amount of bites I got on my leg)

*Once took a direct sniff of one of those KFC fresher towels (don't, just don't)

*Once took two squeaky dog toys, placed one by either ear and squeaked them (I felt as if I was going to be violently ill for ten minutes)

*Have touched stoves, irons, beakers and trays that were all still incredibly hot

 

[Iandiaeufaieubfeuihfi]

I bet $750 that I wouldn't dress up as old Nintendo characters and act like them at school once every month(Nintendo was everything years ago). That means the costume and appearence and everything. The craziest moment was when I dressed up as mario and just repeatedly jumped on my teachers desk with a friend throwing roses at me dressed up as Luigi. But the awesome part was the fact that my teacher is a true gamer.

 

[Lamppenkeyboard]

Not really a mistake, but the most retarded thing i have ever done would have been to my friend's backpack at my highschool lunch period after he asked me to watch it when he went to the bathroom.

I poured all the books out of it, turned it inside out, put the books back inside it, then i hid it inside my backpack, which was empty that day. it was idiotic, but definitely worth it.

 

[monkey_man]

1. Jumped off my bunk bed.

2. Almost kill myself while tube sledding.

3. Forgotten I had hands...

Spoiler

you did what?

anyway, my life is one big chain of small accidents and retarded things, but my last mayor one was buring my hands against the oven when making pizza

 

[Sarah Kerrigan]

I was trying to play Modern Warfare 2 with a friend, and me and my group were holding up in a apartment building in one leavel.
I forgot which button to press to reload, and I threw a grenade on accident, but, apperently, no one was paying attention and it went off, killing half of us.
I promptly got teamed killed and swore at.
But it was worth it...

 

[SD-Fiend]

getting locked in a greyhound restroom not knowing that I needed to turn off the light first

 

[Embz]

Tried to sharpen my finger with a pencil sharpener. I was 7 at the time and hey I was an idiot.

Ive done this too XD

 

[Terminate421]

I dropped some kid who i never knew or even met on his head. On purpose.

I regret ever doing that.

I did apologize and make amends.

 

[gligarman207]

I snorted pepper once, thinking I'd sneeze comically a few times, look hilarious, and get on with my day.

I felt like shit for at least an hour. I do not recommend it one bit.

i did the same thing with a packet of crystal light except i didnt even think it would make me sneeze or any thing i was just being retarded. felt horrible for 3 hours.

and the sad thing is, i didn't even learn did the same thing with salt kernels a month later. God Im retarded sometimes

 

[Trivun]

Oh, mine was in my first year of uni (I'm in my third year now). Me and my flatmates, and some other friends, were on a night out and we were heading to our student union nightclub. Well, the halls we were in that year were on campus, and to get to the student union we had to follow a road that had a big barrier in the middle for restricting car access onto campus. Anyway, one of my friends thought it would be funny to try and jump over this barrier. As we were all fairly drunk already, I didn't notice him jump, and I lifted the barrier at one end just as he was making the leap. Hit him full on in the legs and knocked him over. We all saw the funny side though, after he stopped hurting...

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

I was at the beach once and i jumped from a wooden platform onto a nearby sand dune. I landed on my stomach so I turn over to my left and the next thing I know I'm looking up a the sky in daze and covered cuts, I had rolled over the edge of the dune and fell into a ditch filled with some nice sharp thorns. Lesson learnt never try to show off

 

[TurtleBlob]

I saw the title and went, *snrk* my ex-girlfriend *snrk* but sadly, I'll have to revisit something awkward...

Wait for it...

nope, repressed memories are repressed today, but suffice it to say that logically I know that I have done something extremely retarded but I just can't remem...

Oh god...

I drew a penis when explaining what a Van der Graff generator is to a girl, without actually beginning my explanation proper, it went something like, hey on the subject of static electricity have you seen one of *draws Penis der Graff generator* these?

Slowly I looked down, taking in what I had drawn, in math class no less, to hear her go, well *giggle* yes I have.

My face. Red as hell. Stuttered explanation. Waking up four hours later in jail with someones blood one my hands. It was horrible.

 

[KaosuHamoni]

Oh my god loads! =D

Faceplanted out of bed while asleep when i was five. Broke my nose.

Fell up some stairs when i was seven. Split my head open.

Fell down some stairs when i was eight. Almost lost an eye.

Punching a solid oak door. Really hurt.

Walking into several doors and door frames.

Hit myself in the face with a badminton racket (by accident)

Tried to undo a hex bolt on the Floyd Rose locking saddle of my guitar. With my teeth. Chipped
a tooth, cause its metal and I'm dumb.

Fell asleep while standing. Fell backwards like a felled tree. Onto a wooden floor.

Tested how sharp a knife is by running my thumb along the blade. Hurt like a *****.

On the subject of knives, got bored one day and played Five Finger Fillet. Ended up dragging the blade along my thumb and stabbing myself four times in quick succession.

Caught a water balloon fired by a three man catapult. Ouch.

Forgot to wear my body armor while racing motorbikes. Fell off in front of an opponent trying to take a corner too fast. Got run over.

Crashed my friends motor-tricycle 10 seconds after kick-starting it

Crashed my friends quad in the same way.

Dropped the clutch by accident about to set off on my dirt bike. Then did it again 10 minutes later.


And many, many more... Yeah I'm an idiot, but hey! It makes like fun!

Edit: Bounced off a trampoline.

Walked off a trampoline by accident. Wasn't looking where I was going.

Sprained every finger at once. MY GOD that hurt.

EditEdit: Snorted an extra-long tube of sherbet for a dare. Then proceeded to cough and sneeze at the same time. Got it stuck in the back of my nose

For those in the UK, it was one of these.

I burn my hands all the time picking up hot pans at work, cause I forget that they are hot.

 

[smearyllama]

My face. Red as hell. Stuttered explanation. Waking up four hours later in jail with someones blood one my hands. It was horrible.

Wow. You ever find out who's blood?

OT: Not me, but in my sister's earth science class (freshman class, she had to take it to graduate her senior year) she met some "interesting" people. Some of them didn't understand latitude and longitude, and she was declared "smart" for knowing this.

One guy in her class had animal crackers. One of them was a donkey. He made it "walk" around his desk for a bit, then ground it up, made a paper tube and snorted it. Seriously.

 

[eggy32]

Well, about an hour ago I realised I was tired and needed sleep so I proceeded to go to youtube and listen to various reincarnations of Bloody Tears from Castlevania. it is now approximately 2 am and all i want to do is fight vampires instead of sleep.

 

[Roroshi14]

I have four that I can't decide from:
1.) Using electro-therapy patches I made a complete circuit by sticking a patch on my chest and one on my.. uhm "no-no" area. Then turned it on high.
2.) Jumped from a second story balcony onto a trampoline into a kiddy pool. While on a snowboard.
3.) Had a drunken night tryst with my cousins model wife.
4.) Broke my friends nose thru a elaborate and well put together prank, actually that one took some thought and time.

There is just so many to choose form!

 

[Sovvolf]

Tried to butter toast while the toast was in the toaster. Almost netted my self a Darwin Award. I hit the hot metal things and the power of the house went out... I didn't even receive a shock. Lucky bastard I am.

 

[flangleelgnalf]

hmm... there was this one time i spent about 30 minutes looking for my shoes, not realizing i was wearing them.

 

[Stormz]

Opened up a cupboard to get something. Smacked my face against it because I forgot it was open. I did this three times on different occasions.

Walked into a glass door because I thought it was open.

Went full speed on a bike that didn't have any breaks. That didn't end well.