Most retarded thing you ever did

[Stevo_s]

Well I decided to change my user-name on this site being horrible at typing and using a tiny keyboard I accidentally pressed enter before i could finish typing my new user-name so yup.

 

[NLS]

Not drying my hand after washing it, and before getting something from the freezer. My hand got frozen stuck and it was a pain in the ass to get it free again.
Oh and also; falling out of the bed after sex once.

 

[Sinisterspider]

It was an icy day and my hands were cold so i put my hands in the wrist end of the opposite sleeves. Promptly fell on my face.

 

[Airsoftslayer93]

Getting really pissed and telling a girl that i loved her, multiple times, felt really retarded after that

 

[wolfapocalypse]

I was at a friends house when we decided to go on a bike ride. In order to get to his house you have go up a huge steep hill that has a road on it. Me being the smart sensible person I am, I decided to ride down it. On a bike. Without any protection at all. And the brakes on the bike were broken. The result was me losing control and falling off the bike at a high speed and tumbling down the steep road. It was easily the most painful moment in my life so far.

 

[Beat14]

Not the most retarded thing, but it is the only one that jumps out at me atm. Skateboarding whilst drunk at 6 in the morning, I had a pain in my wrist for about 2 and a half months. Good time though.

 

[otacon]

Tried to sharpen my finger with a pencil sharpener. I was 7 at the time and hey I was an idiot.

Hurts like a *****.

 

[Buizel91]

3. Forgotten I had hands...

HOW! O_O

OT: Urm, well it's like a constant thing... you can shout and shout...but if im concentrating it's REALLY hard to hear people

And i remember noticing some ice on the School Yard...and i said to myself "I wont slip over...I'm fine"

Groups of people +Falling over = Embarrassed...

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Huh, happy list
1. getting electrocuted
2. stabbing my own eye proper, almost went blind on that eye
3. bike fails, particularly the one where i hit a tree with my head and almost passed out
4. almost getting hit by a speeding train, missed by about five inches
5. slamming a glass door on my sister's face (I was about 3) - ouch. (she still has a small scar on her forehead)
6. setting fire to the bathroom. we do not even have anything fucking flammable there! (did manage to put it out rather quickly)

Etc, you get the idea.

 

[HT_Black]

MY little brother once broke his nose on a glass door.

The stupidest thing I ever did though was discover the internet for the first time. I think you all know why.

 

[Yossarian1507]

Without being drunk or stoned (extremely sleepy though, it was an all-night RPG session), I managed to put an electric kettle (made of plastic) on fire to boil the water. Yeah.

Best part? I had troubles turning on the gas and fire it in the cooker, so my friend comes in to the kitchen and asks what am I doing. My answer - 'Oh, I want fire up this thing' while pointing at the plastic kettle. His reaction? 'Oh, okay'.

Thank goodness, my other friend managed to stay sharp at 5 AM and turned of the gas before the kettle melt completely.

My friends still like to tell that story whenever we meet someone new, and they tell it with extra spicy (read 'fake and even dumber') details if that said new person is a girl. I guess, I deserved it

 

[lemby117]

In the mornings I am a complete retard. Pouring orange into my corn flakes and milk in a cup happens a lot. Also putting the bowl in the bin when it should go in the sink has happend recently. Ths is why I hate mornings.

My granny does that... on purpose!! OT someone was giving my mate a hard time so i punched him. unfortunatley i hit his hip and my hand was swollen for 2 weeks the guy just laughed.
EDIT: maybe the time i called a friend dad in front of everyone.

 

[Spinozaad]

I find it hard to pick a specific example, so I'll go with 'my entire puberty'. There is not a facepalm that can justify the inane things I did, while thinking I was totally mature doing it.

 

[archvile93]

I was exposed to sexual things at a young age,and I had no social skills or idea of what i should and shouldn't do.
when I was 5 I told the mother of a girl I liked that when I was older she was going to give me a blow job (The girl).
That was actually painful to write.Please,no oen tell me how stupid this is,I already know.

So did it work out with this girl

OT: I gave TF2 a try. Okay for real this time, I once grabbed someone's shirt as they were running around and went right into the corner of some furniture, nearly splitting my forehead in half. It wouldn't have been so dumb if the there wasn't so much furniture to hit in that room.

 

[Sieg Firebrand]

I got stuck between a table and a generator for three hours

 

[Qmonster]

Not the stupidest thing I've ever done, but I've developed this strange habit of throwing away caps of milk bottles I've freshly opened. I don't think about it, I just toss the cap in the trash and go "Yay! Cereal!.. where's the &$%#ing cap?"

 

[Swny Nerdgasm]

A few years ago after quite a few drinks of jungle juice(Everclear, Hawaiian Punch and Sprite) I lit my forearm on fire with the afore mentioned everclear, then attempted to stomp it out with my own Doc Marten clad feet...