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OT: If you end up gettin' it on, don't ever let him find out. He will tear you to pieces.
OT: If you end up gettin' it on, don't ever let him find out. He will tear you to pieces.
My gf's dad hates me.
- Thread starter MasterOfWorlds
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the more I read through about the details the more I'm inclined to say...well initially I'm one to believe from experience and basic reason that the relationship isn't looking good if the parent(s) doesn't approve butttt after seeing details...well step one don't let things escalate... too tired to deal with humanity tonight so I'll leave it at that hahaa
Well, is he reasonable or is he crazy?
Cause if he's reasonable, you could sit down and talk like adults about how you respect and adore his little girl and you mean this seriously, or whatever you would think would help alleviate the problem.
Maybe try and see if you can have some "man-time" with him, watching football or whatnot, something that he will appreciate.
I once had girlfriend whose dad REALLY didn't like me. He was a sheep farmer, so I started helping him with the sheep and learning a bit about it and over maybe half a year he really warmed to me.
Of course, this all requires reasonable.
If he's crazy, welll you might need to accept that he'll never like, or you may have to establish your dominance through some form of display of power
Cause if he's reasonable, you could sit down and talk like adults about how you respect and adore his little girl and you mean this seriously, or whatever you would think would help alleviate the problem.
Maybe try and see if you can have some "man-time" with him, watching football or whatnot, something that he will appreciate.
I once had girlfriend whose dad REALLY didn't like me. He was a sheep farmer, so I started helping him with the sheep and learning a bit about it and over maybe half a year he really warmed to me.
Of course, this all requires reasonable.
If he's crazy, welll you might need to accept that he'll never like, or you may have to establish your dominance through some form of display of power
MasterOfWorlds said:
Ding ding ding ding!
you're a guy. He's a guy. He was once your age, and knows what he wanted at your age. To him, you're not good enough already, and on top of that, you're just one giant raging sperm waiting to impregnate her. But he probably respects her enough to let her date you reguardless of his own ire, enough to simply give you flack, and instill terror in you to help prevent you from screwing up... by which I mean, screwing her.
You're in a tough spot. But nothing worth while was ever easy. So, if she's worth while, tough it out. Respect the father, reguardless of how much beef he serves you. He is her dad, no matter how much she eye rolls him, or claims to not care for him.
no, i dont think that he hates you just to hate you, you said your her first real boyfriend and that shes had a lot of crap boyfriends before, so i'm thinking he is just going off past experience. all of them were creeps and douchebags so he assumes you are, despite how much longer you have been together. just ignore it and care for her, and eventually he should approve.
Have sex with the father. I promise it will stop any tension between you two.
Well there maybe will be sexual tension.
Well there maybe will be sexual tension.
Well 9/10 times the dad will hate you, mostly because he remembers all the nasty stuff he was doing with girls.
And now you're doing all that to his precious princes... no good
But you can simply avoid him, it's not like hes part of the relationship.
And now you're doing all that to his precious princes... no good
But you can simply avoid him, it's not like hes part of the relationship.
out of curiosity, is her father asian? im not trying to racist but when ive dated asian girls, with traditional asian parents, they have ALWAYS hated me. girls with parents of american or european descent, always love me (like seriously, if i break up with a girl, her parents are usually about as upset as she is) but if her parents are asian, then they always straight up hate me. the mothers are usually more accepting but they both seem to hate meMasterOfWorlds said:
other than that, sounds like her dad is just a prick
You stole my question with that post. I've found that age difference tends to have more weight relative to the age of those involved. In an earlier post MasterOfWorlds stated that he is in college so I would have to assume that the one year difference is relatively inconsequential.loremazd said:
I found myself in a similar situation a few years ago and had plans to spend the next day with both my girl friend and the other girl. It was not fun at all.MasterOfWorlds said:
Note: I didn't cheat but had a rather frank discussion about sex that admittedly crossed some lines.
How old are the two of you? And do you think there is anything for him to be worried about you? I'm not in university and I'm 20, I'm just working and living it up, so when I date a girl, and if I meet her parents and they know this, sometimes they'll be sketchy about me, but they won't really do anything too bad. That's just what I find for myself. Look at yourself as a person and say "would I want my daughter dating him?" and think up any reasons why not, and that's probably why.
I know how you feel man, I GF's dad has hated me for a long time. Weird thing is he used to like me. But after 4 years of his crap, and him emotionally abusing his daughter, the hate is mutual. But I know why he hates me, It is because I taught his daughter how to stand-up for herself, AND I support her in her decisions.I'm such a bad person, Supporting my GF in her endeavors.
One thing I've noticed as I've gotten older (I'm in my mid-30s). The guys who were/are sexist jerks are also the same guys who get incredibly protective about their daughter. Part of it is that they think their own behaviour is normal, and so their daughter's b/f is going to treat her the same way that they treat women. But it's also a mindset about gender that encourages it.
Guys like that tend to divide women into slut/angel cliches. They're the guys who think that men have way bigger sex drives than women (in your teens that's actually the case, as sex is often still kind of painful for the girl, and the guy isn't going to be able to go long enough or be experienced enough to make things worth their while...that and guys are hormonally at their peak in their late teens, whereas girls tend to catch up around 20 and well and truly overtake around 30 - around the same age that they dump all pretence of wanting to put up with a guy who is selfish in bed). Because they see women as sluts or angels, every woman they have a one night stand with is a 'slut' (as in their view there's something 'wrong' with women who have equal or greater sex drives, as it contradicts their views on what genders are supposed to be like). They might make an exception for their long-term partner (their special on a pedestal perfect little angel), but they'll still view them that way if the relationship ends.
If you're viewing the world like that, of COURSE you're going to be terrified of your daughter having boyfriends. If women are all either sluts or angels, you're going to make sure your daughter is wearing a freakin armoured and padlocked pair of steel jeans - no matter HOW much she's likely to become poorly socialised and underconfident by lack of relationship experience. Ironically, if taken to the extreme it's likely to backfire. I don't have links on me, but I've read a number of sociological and psychological studies showing that when it comes to parental control EITHER extreme turns out bad - set no boundaries and your kid will FIND boundaries to push, and it isn't going to be pretty. Control the kid's life and they won't gain the experience they need to learn to be adults.
Not saying the guy is like that, but if we were to take the most favourable interpretation of the circumstances that's not an uncommon event. I actually dated a girl like that - still a friend of mine - except in that case the father had actually been molesting the girl when she was younger. Ugly, yeah. And he had the nerve to be possessive enough to try to stop her from dating guys. Of course, that's an extreme example and not representative (though sadly, less rare than we'd like to think). But I've seen other less extreme situations where a parent's attitude reflects mainly on seeing their own failings in other people.
Of course, for all I know, you might be a major creep and he might be doing exactly what he should be doing.
Guys like that tend to divide women into slut/angel cliches. They're the guys who think that men have way bigger sex drives than women (in your teens that's actually the case, as sex is often still kind of painful for the girl, and the guy isn't going to be able to go long enough or be experienced enough to make things worth their while...that and guys are hormonally at their peak in their late teens, whereas girls tend to catch up around 20 and well and truly overtake around 30 - around the same age that they dump all pretence of wanting to put up with a guy who is selfish in bed). Because they see women as sluts or angels, every woman they have a one night stand with is a 'slut' (as in their view there's something 'wrong' with women who have equal or greater sex drives, as it contradicts their views on what genders are supposed to be like). They might make an exception for their long-term partner (their special on a pedestal perfect little angel), but they'll still view them that way if the relationship ends.
If you're viewing the world like that, of COURSE you're going to be terrified of your daughter having boyfriends. If women are all either sluts or angels, you're going to make sure your daughter is wearing a freakin armoured and padlocked pair of steel jeans - no matter HOW much she's likely to become poorly socialised and underconfident by lack of relationship experience. Ironically, if taken to the extreme it's likely to backfire. I don't have links on me, but I've read a number of sociological and psychological studies showing that when it comes to parental control EITHER extreme turns out bad - set no boundaries and your kid will FIND boundaries to push, and it isn't going to be pretty. Control the kid's life and they won't gain the experience they need to learn to be adults.
Not saying the guy is like that, but if we were to take the most favourable interpretation of the circumstances that's not an uncommon event. I actually dated a girl like that - still a friend of mine - except in that case the father had actually been molesting the girl when she was younger. Ugly, yeah. And he had the nerve to be possessive enough to try to stop her from dating guys. Of course, that's an extreme example and not representative (though sadly, less rare than we'd like to think). But I've seen other less extreme situations where a parent's attitude reflects mainly on seeing their own failings in other people.
Of course, for all I know, you might be a major creep and he might be doing exactly what he should be doing.
Well then, there you have your answer: he's just an over-protective dad, scared that ure just gonna hurt her in the end. If you know that you're part is sincere, then you have nothing to worry about. He'll learn that in time. If he doesnt, just tell him to go and screw himself. He's not the one in the relationship anyway.MasterOfWorlds said: