No Mr Bond I expect you to die.

[TheGreenManalishi]

A knife fight. With a gorilla.

And the gorilla has the knife.

That goes without saying, really.

 

[Deathman101]

Lock him in a cage with pedobear, if he defeats it, I slowly lower sawblades from the ceiling, covering every single portion of his prison.

 

[The Heik]

I'd shoot him in the forehead

Much better then the other villains methods

So, true, but why not make it interesting? Make him wear the jigsaw shotgun collar, give him hope that he can dismantle it it up if he shoots his then-current lover, and then blow it up on him anyway.

 

[Apache2142]

Just make sure every woman he sleeps with has aids or something similar like that film "Teeth" where a woman has...erm...ya know !

 

[Danpascooch]

"I am going to kick you in the face, and then shoot you"

Then I would kick him in the face, and shoot him

 

[schizophrenix]

I'd bury him in sand on the beach Blackbeard-style, except it would be in a nuclear test zone... and he'd be on fire... and be frozen... and be poisoned.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

I'd shoot him in the forehead

Much better then the other villains methods

Well yeah, you're right.
But just for style, I think I'd rather skewer them him a longsword.
Just like Al Mualim in the *spoiler*.

 

[Llewen Ebag]

"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to GENTLEMEN"

You work out the rest.

 

[DazZ.]

Every cliche evil genius has a cat, but they are just for stroking. I would give this cat a purpose.

The cat would be raised from an innocent kitten into a martial arts master of at least 6 different types of kicking arse. It would then undergo surgery to have his claws turned into knifes, eyes given bond vision and plants put around its lungs for air on deep space or underwater missions.

He would then learn the ways of the casino, and looking cute (see below).

Spoiler: Here is the result of cuteness training

It's quite worthwhile I'm sure you agree

Then he would go to a casino, and await Bond, whilst playing casino games and maybe winning me money.
After locating Bond with ease thanks to his Bond vision, kitty will go to the bathroom and get slightly ruffled up, then go to Bond and act all cute.
Bond sees the cute, ruffled up kitty and this penetrates his manly exterior to let his weakness of kindness shine through, and help the epic kitty.
Once alone with Bond, the kitty will rip him apart with his mastery of various arts laced with metallic claw, then shit in his shoes.

TL;DR: Kitty Assassin.

 

[firedfns13]

Lure him to my antarctic base and then release the aliens/predators.
Meanwhile I wouldn't have a weapon, just an escape space shuttle.

 

[NicolasMarinus]

If you were a Bond villain, what elaborate scheme would you use to kill him after you had captured him? Personally I would go along the line of Portal and give him a number of puzzles to complete and a final showdown at the end. Obviously being an evil genius in my underwater lair I wouldn't fight him personally; instead I would set my army of genetically modified electrified double headed hammerhead shark eels or flaming bears.

This, with Bond being the last object. He wouldn't even try to stop the chain reaction out of curiosity. Just to see what happens next.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E9ZPk2rFhY

 

[sarahvait]

Meh, I don't know. Maybe strap him to a chair with wires hooked to him all over the place. Then force him to play the most difficult video games ever. That Prinny game on the PSP, Ghosts and Goblins, Demon Souls, the Ninja Gaidens, Contra, Battletoads. He would play through this games, and everytime he loses a life, he gets an electro shock that progressively gets worse and worse. And he can't just not play, because the machine gun turrets are programmed to shoot him in such an occasion.

Or I could just hire Jigsaw to take care of him. That would be interesting.

"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No...I want to play a game."

 

[GrinningManiac]

I would place him between two bookcases within my evil lair's archives, which, through the ingenious use of hidden hydrolics (sp?) would slowly close and crush him, whilst armed guards look on from a safe distance and throught the cameras. after the initial slow crushing, the bookcases would slam backwards and forwards rapidly to kill him quickly after the crushing.

Cookie for game reference

Oh, and I would do it whilst watching from my monitor and listening to this JUST as he dies

 

[Unrulyhandbag]

I'd place him in the central spindal of an enormous Rubik's cube. The internals of said cube a plated with ablative materials to prevent violent escape. His chamber would contain a bank of monitors showing each outer face of the cube as recorded by a fuzzy early nineties CCTV camera.
Those screens are of the green mono variety.

To rotate the sections he'd first have to guess a 64 bit password, but no electronics gubbins to hack for him... The front end would be a sixties style telegraphy switch board, can't hack push pins. upon guessing the password he'd have the smallest possible crank to turn, and once the outer planes are flat again the crank locks and a new password is generated.

Upon solving the cube a doorway would open leading into movie style ventilation shaft that runs a winding maze through the outer boxes, between each box is a booby trapped door.

Intricate enough? it's possible that he could escape... that's the gentlemanly way.

 

[mayney93]

lock him in a nuclear reactor no one could survive a spell in one of them 'cept maybe chuck norris

No, Gamma Radiation is the only thing able to take HIM out.

Ot: I would use a poison that has a painfully long delay, lock him onto a slowly lowering platform and take the antidote to my office, and turn the auto-turrets ON.

no thats far too boring how about leaving him in a locked room with a extremely buggy version of windows vista

 

[xplay3r]

If you were a Bond villain, what elaborate scheme would you use to kill him after you had captured him? Personally I would go along the line of Portal and give him a number of puzzles to complete and a final showdown at the end. Obviously being an evil genius in my underwater lair I wouldn't fight him personally; instead I would set my army of genetically modified electrified double headed hammerhead shark eels or flaming bears.
[small]Yeah they're bears, but on FIRE.[/small]

Like Dr.Insanos monkeys on fire?

I would strap him to a chair with a giant axe hanging over his head, then make him play guitar hero two, through the fire and the flames on expert and every note he misses releases the axe a notch if he fails it falls on him, if he wins then he then has to sit through every season of hannah montana, while listening to the jona brothers.
after that ,if he's not dead, he'd surely be driven insane so then I'd put him a cage with 4 Boa constricturs, a bengal tiger, 7 scorpians, 9 trantulas, A frog, a puma, and a slightly retarted lemur, and he only has a stick and a dead hallibut for weapons.
If he survives that I'd release him. to an insane asylum for serious hannah montanah and jonas brothers recovery. (wich means he is forced to watch episodes of psych, scrubs, burn notice, and house, while listening to The Beatles, EELS, Cake and Primus wich, combined, forces all the suck out until he is fully healed)

That's IF he survives my tests off inhumanity.

this plan 2 is fatally flawed there was no through the fire and flames on guitar hero 2

so skip the retarted lemurs and the haibut, the only problem is I need GH3 not GH2...I see that you understand my mind set well, shall we team up and take over the world? lol

 

[JoshGod]

really i would just shoot him
as for crazy plan erm.... put a carnivourous earwig in his brain!!!

Hmm it tickles.

.......... aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh it eating out the back of my eyes