Oddest Dream You've Ever Had

[ilspooner]

I have two I can't decide between.
In the first one I was sitting in the courtyard of my old school and trimming sharp bits off chairs with a pair of pliers. After I had finished, they would be auctioned off to lots of kids. I pulled one out of the pile and there were no sharp bits. The teacher said, "Well, looks like this one belongs to Merrick." Then someone stood up, pointed, and started beeping. Then I realised the beeping was my alarm clock.
I had this one last night.
I was on a pirate ship holding a whip. I went belowdecks and ordered all these people on computers to work faster. Then a big computer screen turned on. A face was on it and it said "Now you will all die! Mhua ha ha!" Then about ten red clams with googly eyes came out. One guy laughed and a clam bit his foot off. The workers put their feet up and I smashed all the clams with a sledgehammer. Then I woke up.

 

[Luftwaffles]

i was riding a bike.....hit a bump and i woke up.

 

[Stone Wera]

Last night, I had a dream that I moved to Africa to start a farm in my new apartment, with my friend Rob, who was also a viking. On the way to the beach to collect washed up newts for the farm-partment, I spotted a friend from middle school. We exchanged formalities, and promptly headed to a wedding, which just so happened to be right by the road to the beach we were headed. I figured we could stop to steal some cake, and make a party/whoop ass cocktail. While I was there I noticed that I was seeing a suprising amount of middle school friends, along with the spoonkiller from The Horribly Slow Murder With The Extremely Inefficient Weapon in a fur coat. I somehow teleported to Japan, and then woke up.

 

[Slipped Mind]

Aha, awesome.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

I dreamed that I was in an alternate, dark-yet-colourful world, where I was rolling Dice with a Demi-Demon.

Then I went to the Bust stop and a guy shoved an Axe into my skull.

I've had weirder, Gerber baby in sunglasses on a Lifeguard chair that's standing in a kiddie pool that's atop an Elephant - based dreams, but I already shared that tale before.

 

[ThePoodonkis]

Swordfighting a large slice of toast while on top of race cars.
Needless to say, I had a strong urge to have toast for breakfast that morning.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

I dreamed that I killed a man who looked just like Stephen King, by breaking his spine.

 

[Feste the Jester]

Spongebob chased me with a knife along several open shark pits. I know there were other people and more to the dream but I can't remember anymore.

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

I had a strange dream that I remember vividly a couple years ago.

I was on some ship that closely resembled the titanic. I was wandering the lower decks, completely alone, and peering into small rooms, most were well lit and empty. I came across one that was completely bathed in darkness, and entered it. I was transported to a black and white, old fashioned house, every thing seemed distorted and twisted. A human like figure sat in a high backed chair, it's back facing me.

It stood up, it was nothing more than a trench coat and an old-fashioned fedora hat, ash was pouring from it's cuffs and the bottom of it's coat. It was glowing bright green, and came at me with frightening speed. I slammed the door shut, and began running. It materialized through the door, and took chase. I blacked out and found myself in the ocean. The ship was sinking beneath the deep, a bright beacon amongst the black sea. There were people in big white life jackets, hundreds of them, all screaming and yelling.

Giant metal valves dozens of meters high stuck out of the water, people where disappearing beneath the waves, as if pulled by some invisible force. The thing that had chased me on the ship was leaping from valve to valve, scanning and looking for me.

I woke up and could not go back to sleep, it seemed so real.

jesus christ....

 

[shogunblade]

I had a dream once where I was this insignificant bug and I was being crushed by the Earth. I couldn't figure out why this bothered me, then I realized I had been casting Gravity a lot in Final Fantasy VIII.

Good times, bad dreams.

 

[CK76]

I dreamed I was a Russian, I owned a bakery in Saint Peterburg and had a family.

Nothing special, right?

My roommate asked me next day "Why were you talking about bread in your sleep in Russian?"
I don't speak an ounce of Russian, he does and said I spoke like a fluent speaker with funny accent. Best we could figure out Russians I was working with somehow worth off...via diffusion.

I wished he'd recorded my fascinating Russian about baked goods.

 

[Mrsoupcup]

Snip

I had a dream about a Zelda puzzel solution that had bothered me for weeks. Turns out, it worked. Wierd hu?

 

[R4ptur3]

Its a shame i dont write mine down, ive had so many i cant remember. but last night i had one where i was in a field with a group of people and we were in a war next to a barn house. i killed some people, the enemy was bad at aiming and it seemed as if no one knew what they were doing there. The thing is, i didnt play an fps all day.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I need to start making a dream log. Tell you what, the morning I wake up after experiencing on of my trademark weird dreams, I'll post it here.

 

[blankedboy]

Dude, this was done a couple days ago.

I have heaps of dreams, most of which are epic fun... some crazy shit in there too.

I guess the most memorable is one where I saw a picture of a pirate (not a photo, more like the stuff you'd see in a picture book or a point-and-click game). He just wagged his sword back and forth for ages. It would've been about quarter an hour's worth of me watching him... yeah, pretty damn boring.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

I had a dream where I was at a weird fetish porn shoot where Osama Bin Laden had sex with a fish and then it cut to a bunch of terrorists cutting their dicks off. I woke up and felt sick...

 

[Zetona]

The details are a bit fuzzy, but this is what I remember:

First, there was some sort of "mission select" screen. Mind, this was well before I was really into gaming.
Then I went down a dark, featureless corridor.
I found a doll which I was supposed to study, I looked at it...and found myself back at the mission select screen.
So I went down the corridor again. This time I had to get in close to the doll's eye, to photograph it or something. So I got to the doll, leaned in to look at the eye.

That's when I realized the doll was smiling. Like a toothy, dead-eyed, incredibly evil smile. I awoke with a start and was afraid to go back to sleep. It scared the fuck out of me.

 

[The Lawn]

I had an odd dream last night...

It was a bicycle race around a hotel that took up the entire southern end of England.
I remember that I was in the lead until the floor turned sideways so I couldn't get past this one point, when I had to take an elevator to get to the next floor, but it got stuck because of another elevator trying to go down.
So I tried to cycle up this 90 degree incline, and almost got there before getting tired, and at that point I was like fuck it, so I got a car and went to a pub and got a beer... that cost exactly 7.50.
I even remember tasting it, and that hadn't ever happened in any of my dreams before, and it was delicious...

Mmmm... dream beer...

And that was about it.